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Fathers
are mean
Let
me tell you of a conversation I had with my father not so long ago.
“Daddy,
can I come in?” I said through the crack
of his bedroom door.
“Sure
Kitten!”
I slowly opened the door and poked
my head around; Daddy had just finished showering and had pulled on his
trousers. “Going somewhere?” I
nonchalantly asked, noticing the suit coat and tie on the bed.
“Out!”
was his only reply, “anything I can help you with?”
I chewed my lower lip
contemplating how to start. “What’s on
your mind pussycat? You look like you’re a little upset.” He said as he sat on the bed to put on his
socks.
“How
do you know?” I finally asked.
“Know
what Kitten?” he mumbled, stretching the sock over his right foot.
“How
do you know a relationship is right with a certain person?” I said with considerable
hesitation.
Daddy stopped with his
dressing and stared off into space, I know when Daddy is giving something serious thought; he absentmindedly pulls his ear
lobe, something he was doing right now.
So I sat on the bed and waited, studying his face. To say my father was beautiful would be a
gross over statement, more like ruggedly handsome; “Ugly! If
you were to ask him.” I mused to myself, but then what does he know of womanly
likes; he’s just a mere male.
“Geeee I don’t know for sure
kitten. I can only draw from my own
experiences and tell you about this one woman I met many, many years ago.” He said as he continued to don his sock.
“I still remember the first
second I noticed her. I was at a
convention, and above all the background noise I heard this click clack… click
clack of her high heels coming across the room.
She was behind a seven foot tall movable screen divider that tapered lazily
up at the end. To start with, all I saw
were her sexy black high heeled shoes beneath the screen. I felt the rhythm of her stride in my chest; beating
in tandem with my heart; the measured gait of someone confident and
self-assured.”
I
sat and listened intently.
“Her approach to the end of
the divider was my first look at a pair of immaculately sculptured ankles; they
were fine and delicate; almost too delicate for anyone but a child.”
I could almost see my dad
picturing them now, with the look on his face.
Daddy looked straight at me, “You
know in the ads on TV when they slow mo the action,” he said; I nodded in
fascination; he smiled “She took for ever to come out from behind that screen;
with every agonizingly slow step more of her legs were revealed, the black
sheer seamed stockings shimmered from the lighting in the room. The curve of her calves fascinated me like nothing
I have ever seen.
I was starting to get aroused
just listening to my Daddy’s description and he hadn’t even begun.
“Finally she came out from
behind the screen and my heart faltered.
She was slightly past me and all I saw was her back, but even so, I was
captivated. Her shoulders were straight;
held back and proud; her silky hair flowed down her back like liquid
sunshine. She was truly a sight, and all
the men, and even some of the women in the room agreed with their stares. She had that air of supreme confidence; she
knew who she was, where she was going and what she was doing. There was not an ounce of hesitation.”
“Who was she Daddy?” My
interest peaking. “That my dear kitten was
something I vowed to find out; even if it killed me,” He chuckled as the next
sock slipped effortless over his left foot.
“I remember her dress was
black and silky, flowing as effortlessly as her hair. The back of the dress dipped
down to the hollow of her back just above her hips, showing her naked elegant
curves. With a diagonally cut hem,
giving that teasing hint of her stay-up elastic garter of her stocking as she
walked, it then swung down pass her right knee; my blood was rising every
minute I watched her.”
So was mine; my nipples had
stiffened and I had to hunch forward to stop them from poking though my
T-shirt.
Daddy got up and walked over
to his cupboard to retrieve a shirt, “They weren’t the only things rising,” I
thought to myself with slight amusement; because he didn’t turn around until he
had his shirt tucked neatly into his trousers. I have on many occasions watched
my parents getting ready to go out; and it never fails to amaze me how they
never vary in their sequence of dressing.
Daddy started to brush his
salt and pepper hair, “Well!” I nudged.
“Well what?” He smiled. “Damn
him!” I thought; he knows I’m hooked and
is drawing me out. “Well! What did she look like?” Exasperation evident in my voice; Daddy just
chuckled.
“When I finally got to see
her face, the first thing I noticed were her eyes; they were the colour of blue
ice, clear, sparkling and vibrant; her high cheek bones would have made any
fashion photographer melt, and her cute button nose topped the most sensual pouting
lips the likes I have never seen. Her
gleaming white teeth shone like pearls behind a smile that could win the heart
of nations.” Daddy sighed, “Her chin was
fine and well proportioned. She was
perfection, her long slender neck begged to be kissed and caressed.” Daddy dropped his head and sighed again, “I
don’t think it’s appropriate to go on from there.” He said with an evil smirk.
“Awww! Come on Daddy, you can’t leave me hanging like this.
Please continue… Please.”
Daddy laughed, “You have to
promise not to tell your mother any of this. She’d kill me!”
I suddenly had a twinge of
guilt; here I was asking my father to mentally betray my mother, but I needed
to know.
“The neckline of her dress
plunged almost to her navel,” He continued, “Peaches and cream complexion her
breasts contrasting perfectly with the black silken fabric, and not a hint of a
bra to be seen; there simply wasn’t enough dress to hide one. I have no idea how she even kept it from
falling off.” Daddy chuckled.
“Glue Daddy! Models use it
on the cat walk, comes in a spray can.” I informed him; Daddy’s not much up on
female fashion; as I’ve said… he’s just a mere male.
I ached to be able to touch
myself, but that would be immoral and perverted, not to mention stupid and
totally out of the question. I mentally
berated myself for even having the thought.
Someday though I vowed to meet this amazing woman; you never know, maybe
she does swing both ways.
I sat there on the edge of
the bed totally engrossed in thought, I had said nothing but my eyes must have
betrayed my thoughts and Daddy noticed this and took it to mean he should
continue.
“Her waist was narrow, taken
straight from an hour glass; her hips molded inside that exquisite dress were
sturdy and built for child bearing.”
Daddy paused again in reflection.
Daddy’s smile had a glint of
wickedness to it, “And that my dear little Kitten is where I will leave
it.” I giggled behind my hand; and then
out of the blue he finished. “I will
tell you this though; I was to find out much, much later on that she did have
an immaculately manicured garden.
I sat there not registering
what my Daddy had said; while he went about looking for his cufflinks. Daddy can never find anything, when mommy has
been organizing.
Then suddenly I realized
exactly what he had said, “Ohhhh My God!
You just said… Ohhhh Daddy really.” He turned with a wicked grin on his face, and
laughed. “You are so naughty, that’s not
something you should be telling anyone; especially not your own daughter.” I said
wagging my finger at him.
“Well you’re the nosey one; I
was just telling you like it is.” He
said grinning from ear to ear. “That is waaaaayyyyyy
too much information Daddy and you know it.”
I retorted, but matching his grin.
“She was pure eye candy,
sweet as honey” He chuckled.
Daddy went off into the bathroom
to look for something as I sat reflecting on everything he had said. This woman was a goddess, that with just the
cast of her hand could throw aside any of the women on
Mummy wasn’t exactly in this
woman’s league by any stretch of the imagination; that’s not to say that my
mother isn’t beautiful, she turns heads wherever she goes, even at the ripe old
age of forty three, she still commands the male attention. I should be so lucky at eighteen to have even
half of what she’s got going for her. So
why did Daddy finish his affair with this vixen and marry mummy?
Daddy came back from the
bathroom enveloped by his cologne, it made me feel light headed and all fuzzy
inside. He must have noticed my consternation
and asked, “Penny for your thoughts.” I
tried several times to put my thoughts into words, but I didn’t want to say the
wrong thing; in the end I just said, “There must be something wrong with her;
no one can be that perfect.” I frowned.
Then a thought hit me, “Her
voice! It was like finger nails on a
chalkboard?”
Daddy chuckled, “Nope! Smooth as caramel.”
“Her
attitude? She was the bitch from hell?” I continued.
Starting to laugh he said, “Nope! You couldn’t find a kinder more caring and
compassionate soul.”
I sat back wondering. “How about humour?”
He sat on mummy’s makeup
stool putting on his shoes, “She was the funniest person I have ever known; her
wit unsurpassed.”
“Then she must have been
clumsy; to the point of being dangerous?”
I knew I was clutching at straws and knew it showed on my face.
Daddy shook his head, “now
you’re scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
Let me tell you she’s as agile and sure footed as a gazelle.”
“She’s a lady, a wonderful
companion, a confidant, a tramp and a whore, and the best thing about her;
she’s knows exactly how and when to use each and every one of her amazing talents.” He wickedly smiled
I was a bit taken back by the
tramp and whore comment, “Then I give up, I have no idea. What was it that made you give her up in
favour of mummy?”
Daddy stopped flicking lint
off his trousers; I have never before seen the look on his face, serious and
smirking at the same time, it made me uneasy.
“What makes you think I gave
her up?” Was all he said.
I was dumbfounded; totally
speechless, “But…but” I couldn’t go on; I couldn’t believe what my Daddy had
just alluded to. All sorts of emotions
coalesced inside me; dismay, anger, rage; but I think sorrow was the one that
won out in the end. And this entire time
Daddy went on getting ready as though nothing was wrong.
I felt tears welling up in my
eyes and a lump forming in my throat; it was at this time that I realized that it
was she he was going to meet tonight.
Mummy wasn’t here getting ready, she must still be at work.
“You’re going to meet her
tonight; aren’t you?” I said, half
hoping he’d emphatically deny it.
Daddy nodded almost
absentmindedly, “Sure am!” He stated, while putting on his coat.
I was defeated, lost; my
whole life was gone; the ground felt like it had given way from under me, I was
drowning in confusion and sadness. In
the end all I could say was, “Does mummy know?
Daddy smiled at me, and I
really wanted to jump up and slap his face; but his next comment stalled my action,
“She sure does! She’s the one that set
it up; she rang me this morning to give me all the details of where and when.”
Daddy strode off into the
lounge room leaving me flabbergasted and even more dumbfounded than I was
before. I sat there trying to get some
sort of order out of it. I realized that
there was really nothing I could do; they were adults and could do as they
wished even though I didn’t understand, I’d have to be grown up about it, at least
until I could talk to my mother.
Daddy called from the lounge
room, “I gotta go kitten, and we still haven’t solved your problem yet.” I came out feeling dejected. My problem didn’t seem important now, either
that or it now seemed unsolvable; I just felt so confused; I didn’t even feel
like crying.
“That’s ok Daddy.” I said,
noticing him straightening his tie and I really didn’t wanting to continue this
conversation.
“No! You asked me for my opinion, and if you
thought it important enough to ask, then I’ll help as much as I can. All I can say is that no matter what you see
in front of you; that’s all eyes candy, what really matters is what’s inside
that thin veneer, and the only thing that can judge that is your heart. The eyes see; but the heart feels. Looks can change and fade with time, but the
soul is timeless and never changing.”
Tucking a hanky into his coat
pocket he continued, “What do you think?
Do I pass for acceptable?” without waiting for a reply, “Trust your
heart kitten, it will know.” He finished
with a sympathetic smile.
Then he said something that
froze me in my tracks, “I suggest you ring Melissa and talk it out, better yet;
you have the house to yourself until tomorrow afternoon, invite her to stay the
night. I’ll even allow you to use the
master bedroom, just as long as you change the sheets and tidy up before your
mother gets home; I’m not sure how she’ll react to crumpled bed linen.” He
grinned.
I stood there shaking my head
wondering how I had got sucked into this. One minute I had the moral high ground and the
next, I was trying desperately to dig myself out of a hole. Like a rabbit caught in the headlights of an
on coming car. Daddy’s car…
Then he asked, “You saying
this isn’t about your relationship with Melissa?”
I was caught; no where to go
but come clean, but how do you do that and keep your dignity. “No! …I mean yes; Ohhhh I don’t know.” I was
frightened out of my wits and confused beyond belief; I just slumped into the
couch, “You angry?” I ventured; I really
couldn’t tell what my father was thinking anymore.
Daddy smiled as he squatted
in front of me and took my hand rubbing it, “There’s no reason to be angry, as
long as my baby girl has love in her life, then what more could a parent ask
for.” I sighed more from puzzlement than
relief; I still couldn’t believe that my Daddy knew I was a lesbian and didn’t
rant and rave and ground me for the rest of my natural life.
“How did you know?” I asked,
still deathly scared.
Daddy beamed his million dollar
smile, “A father just knows,” He quipped, “Not seeing any boys hanging around
littering up the place was a big tip off; that and the fact that I also saw the
two of you snogging while you were aggressively humping Melissa’s leg out
behind the garage.” He chuckled.
Now I had embarrassment to
add to my list of emotions; my face felt like it had spontaneously combusted,
and I buried it in my hands groaning, “Ohhhh My God No; I’m so sorry Daddy,
it’ll never happen again, I’ll call Melissa and tell her it’s all over, I
promise.” I knew I was babbling, and now
I was whole heartedly crying my eyes out; Daddy lent forward and kissed me
gently on my forehead, “There, there snookems, its ok, stop crying; I’m happy
if you’re happy, you don’t need to tell Melissa any such thing.” I wiped at my face, “You mean that?” I asked
hesitantly still blushing like a beetroot.
“Sure Kitten! I have to admit I was a little taken back,
not much though. I was more concerned
that my little Kitty Kat had become a sexual woman, with all the desires and
needs that goes along with it, but I had one consolation; at least you weren’t
going to come home pregnant.” He
chuckled.
“Ohhhh Daddy! You can be really rude sometimes,” I giggled,
starting to feel a little better.
I took a deep breath; now
relieved that things were out in the open and Daddy wasn’t angry, “You had
better get going if you want to be on time for your date with that wicked
vixen.”
“Ohhhh geeeezes, your right,
I better get going; you know how your mother hates to be kept waiting.” Daddy kissed me on the hand, and headed for
the door.
Now I was back to being
confused again, you know it can be really stressful on the nervous system, and
it was starting to piss me off, “Hey wait just one damn minute; aren’t you having
a date with your harlot; the blonde bombshell?” Rolling my eyes.
Daddy turned with that damned
evil grin on his face again, “You bet your sweat patutti
I am, and the more the harlot and slut she is; the more I’m going to love it.”
He says chuckling
“Well? I don’t understand; what’s mummy going to be
doing?
“Loving every minute of it I
hope,” he said
“Are you guys going to have a
threesome?” I asked incredulously.
“Who said anything about a
threesome; your mother is fairly adventurous but I really don’t think she’d go
for that, but I’ll ask her just for you; if you like.” He was grinning from ear to ear.
That’s when the penny
dropped, “you bastard; you’re really mean Daddy. Your mysterious wench is mummy; isn’t it?”
Daddy burst out laughing, “I
was wondering when it’d fall into place for you.”
I felt wave after wave of
embarrassment and relief rush over me; I thought my whole life was a sham, but
it was all Daddy’s weird idea of a joke. I leapt up and ran for him, throwing a cushion
at him; then wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him the biggest hug,
“Daddy! I’m going to get you back for this
and that’s a promise; now get your arse out that door. There’s a wanton woman waiting for the
shagging of a life time and you better do her good.”
Daddy reared back on mock
shock and horror, “Kitten! You can be so
rude and crude; sometimes I wonder if you’re actually my daughter.” He was laughing as he walked down the drive
to his car.
Just before he reversed out;
he stuck his head out the window, “Just to make it up to you; I’ll con your
mother into another night away, that should give you the whole weekend to sort
things out with Melissa…deal?.”
I smiled and shook my head in
wonderment, “You’re the best Daddy, and thanks; I love you so much.”
“I love you too Kitten, you
have fun; and remember…Follow your heart, it knows best.”
“I will Daddy, thanks again”
As I watched Daddy backing out of the drive, I sighed. This afternoon was one for the books; I was
so washed out from emotional stress that all I wanted to do was sleep for a
week.
I thought of Melissa and her
sexy butt and pert succulent nipples, then it hit me; I had just finished
lusting after my own mother’s body.
“Ohhhh damn,” now I feel really creepy as a shudder coursed though me. I tried to shake it off, just as something I
was thinking earlier came back to haunt me; the thought penetrated my addled brain. “I
vowed to meet this amazing woman; you never know, maybe she does swing both
ways.”
“Ohhhh you
bastard!” I said out loud, as my
mind went back over what Daddy had said, “You are so dead Daddy!” as I shook my
fist at the receding car; I ran down the drive way as he gunned the motor and
took off down the street; I ran out onto the road shouting, “That is so not
funny; you’re mean Daddy, your dead, so dead; just wait till I get hold of…
dead you bastard! You hear me. I’m going
to tell mummy; in fact I might just ring her before you get to your date,” I
paused a little, “Well I would if I could remember her mobile number. Dead meat!” I yelled down a now empty street.
That’s when I realized that
the whole neighbourhood could probably hear me and stormed back up the
drive. My Daddy had known all along that
I was getting turned on by his sensual description of my mother’s body; he
already knew of my lesbian tendencies. “Eeeewwww! That
is so mean!”
I got that creepy feeling
again and shuddered; this could scar me for the rest of my life.
I decided I needed to have
some diversion to get my thoughts off my mother and my heart said, “Go ring Melissa and tell her to get her
sexy arse over here; you won’t regret it.” And hey, who am I to ignore my
heart or my Daddy’s advice.
“He is so dead, I tell ya,” I
giggled, “Or he would be if I didn’t love him so much.”
Now there maybe those amongst
you who are scratching your heads and wondering how on earth could
I not know it was mummy my father was describing.
Well! Twenty three years, three children, about ten
pounds and seeing her this morning in her worn out pink dressing gown; coming
down to breakfast can do it nicely. Only
porn stars get out of bed looking like they stepped out of a beauty salon. I also see mum through a daughter’s eyes; as
the person that changed my nappies, blew my nose, repaired my skinned knees and
did all those other mummy type things; on the other hand my Daddy sees the
twenty year old who captivated his heart so long ago.
While his eyes feast
voraciously on her beauty; it’s her soul that fills his heart. And that is as it should be.
There were a couple of lessons
I learned out of all this; besides not completely trusting my Daddy’s stories
when he’s in one of those moods. And that is…
1… Never take anything or
anyone for granted; especially those you love.
2… Don’t ask a question
unless you’re prepared to wear the truth.
3… Be true to your heart. It never says much; so listen when it has
something to say.
4… Beauty is in the eye of
the beholder.
5…Physical beauty while being
nice; is nothing more than the chocolate of an Easter egg. It may be pleasing to the senses and can be
jazzed up with all sorts of glitz and glamour but it is far too fleeting, fragile
and transient.
6…A soul will pass the tests
of time and grow more beautiful each and every day, and all you need to nourish
it into bloom, is a little TLC.
So; if you want to know if
someone is right for you. Do as my Daddy
says.
“Listen
to your heart.”