Fathers are mean

 

Let me tell you of a conversation I had with my father not so long ago.

 

“Daddy, can I come in?”  I said through the crack of his bedroom door.

 

“Sure Kitten!”

 

I slowly opened the door and poked my head around; Daddy had just finished showering and had pulled on his trousers.  “Going somewhere?” I nonchalantly asked, noticing the suit coat and tie on the bed.

 

“Out!” was his only reply, “anything I can help you with?”

 

I chewed my lower lip contemplating how to start.  “What’s on your mind pussycat? You look like you’re a little upset.”  He said as he sat on the bed to put on his socks.

 

“How do you know?” I finally asked.

 

“Know what Kitten?” he mumbled, stretching the sock over his right foot.

 

“How do you know a relationship is right with a certain person?” I said with considerable hesitation.

 

Daddy stopped with his dressing and stared off into space, I know when Daddy is giving something serious thought; he absentmindedly pulls his ear lobe, something he was doing right now.  So I sat on the bed and waited, studying his face.  To say my father was beautiful would be a gross over statement, more like ruggedly handsome; “Ugly! If you were to ask him.” I mused to myself, but then what does he know of womanly likes; he’s just a mere male.

 

“Geeee I don’t know for sure kitten.  I can only draw from my own experiences and tell you about this one woman I met many, many years ago.”  He said as he continued to don his sock.

 

“I still remember the first second I noticed her.  I was at a convention, and above all the background noise I heard this click clack… click clack of her high heels coming across the room.  She was behind a seven foot tall movable screen divider that tapered lazily up at the end.  To start with, all I saw were her sexy black high heeled shoes beneath the screen.  I felt the rhythm of her stride in my chest; beating in tandem with my heart; the measured gait of someone confident and self-assured.”

 

I sat and listened intently.

 

“Her approach to the end of the divider was my first look at a pair of immaculately sculptured ankles; they were fine and delicate; almost too delicate for anyone but a child.”

 

I could almost see my dad picturing them now, with the look on his face.

  

Daddy looked straight at me, “You know in the ads on TV when they slow mo the action,” he said; I nodded in fascination; he smiled “She took for ever to come out from behind that screen; with every agonizingly slow step more of her legs were revealed, the black sheer seamed stockings shimmered from the lighting in the room.  The curve of her calves fascinated me like nothing I have ever seen.

 

I was starting to get aroused just listening to my Daddy’s description and he hadn’t even begun.

 

“Finally she came out from behind the screen and my heart faltered.  She was slightly past me and all I saw was her back, but even so, I was captivated.  Her shoulders were straight; held back and proud; her silky hair flowed down her back like liquid sunshine.  She was truly a sight, and all the men, and even some of the women in the room agreed with their stares.  She had that air of supreme confidence; she knew who she was, where she was going and what she was doing.  There was not an ounce of hesitation.”

 

“Who was she Daddy?” My interest peaking.  “That my dear kitten was something I vowed to find out; even if it killed me,” He chuckled as the next sock slipped effortless over his left foot.

 

“I remember her dress was black and silky, flowing as effortlessly as her hair. The back of the dress dipped down to the hollow of her back just above her hips, showing her naked elegant curves.  With a diagonally cut hem, giving that teasing hint of her stay-up elastic garter of her stocking as she walked, it then swung down pass her right knee; my blood was rising every minute I watched her.”

 

So was mine; my nipples had stiffened and I had to hunch forward to stop them from poking though my T-shirt.

 

Daddy got up and walked over to his cupboard to retrieve a shirt, “They weren’t the only things rising,” I thought to myself with slight amusement; because he didn’t turn around until he had his shirt tucked neatly into his trousers. I have on many occasions watched my parents getting ready to go out; and it never fails to amaze me how they never vary in their sequence of dressing.

 

Daddy started to brush his salt and pepper hair, “Well!” I nudged.  “Well what?”  He smiled. “Damn him!”  I thought; he knows I’m hooked and is drawing me out.  “Well!  What did she look like?”  Exasperation evident in my voice; Daddy just chuckled.

 

“When I finally got to see her face, the first thing I noticed were her eyes; they were the colour of blue ice, clear, sparkling and vibrant; her high cheek bones would have made any fashion photographer melt, and her cute button nose topped the most sensual pouting lips the likes I have never seen.  Her gleaming white teeth shone like pearls behind a smile that could win the heart of nations.”  Daddy sighed, “Her chin was fine and well proportioned.  She was perfection, her long slender neck begged to be kissed and caressed.”  Daddy dropped his head and sighed again, “I don’t think it’s appropriate to go on from there.” He said with an evil smirk.

 

“Awww! Come on Daddy, you can’t leave me hanging like this. Please continue… Please.”

 

Daddy laughed, “You have to promise not to tell your mother any of this.  She’d kill me!”

 

I suddenly had a twinge of guilt; here I was asking my father to mentally betray my mother, but I needed to know.

 

“The neckline of her dress plunged almost to her navel,” He continued, “Peaches and cream complexion her breasts contrasting perfectly with the black silken fabric, and not a hint of a bra to be seen; there simply wasn’t enough dress to hide one.  I have no idea how she even kept it from falling off.”  Daddy chuckled.

 

“Glue Daddy!  Models use it on the cat walk, comes in a spray can.” I informed him; Daddy’s not much up on female fashion; as I’ve said… he’s just a mere male.

 

I ached to be able to touch myself, but that would be immoral and perverted, not to mention stupid and totally out of the question.  I mentally berated myself for even having the thought.  Someday though I vowed to meet this amazing woman; you never know, maybe she does swing both ways. 

 

I sat there on the edge of the bed totally engrossed in thought, I had said nothing but my eyes must have betrayed my thoughts and Daddy noticed this and took it to mean he should continue.

 

“Her waist was narrow, taken straight from an hour glass; her hips molded inside that exquisite dress were sturdy and built for child bearing.”  Daddy paused again in reflection.

 

Daddy’s smile had a glint of wickedness to it, “And that my dear little Kitten is where I will leave it.”  I giggled behind my hand; and then out of the blue he finished.  “I will tell you this though; I was to find out much, much later on that she did have an immaculately manicured garden.

 

I sat there not registering what my Daddy had said; while he went about looking for his cufflinks.  Daddy can never find anything, when mommy has been organizing.

 

Then suddenly I realized exactly what he had said, “Ohhhh My God!  You just said… Ohhhh Daddy really.”  He turned with a wicked grin on his face, and laughed.  “You are so naughty, that’s not something you should be telling anyone; especially not your own daughter.” I said wagging my finger at him.

 

“Well you’re the nosey one; I was just telling you like it is.”  He said grinning from ear to ear. “That is waaaaayyyyyy too much information Daddy and you know it.”  I retorted, but matching his grin.

 

“She was pure eye candy, sweet as honey” He chuckled.

 

Daddy went off into the bathroom to look for something as I sat reflecting on everything he had said.  This woman was a goddess, that with just the cast of her hand could throw aside any of the women on Olympus.  Then why had Daddy forsaken this vision for mummy?

 

Mummy wasn’t exactly in this woman’s league by any stretch of the imagination; that’s not to say that my mother isn’t beautiful, she turns heads wherever she goes, even at the ripe old age of forty three, she still commands the male attention.  I should be so lucky at eighteen to have even half of what she’s got going for her.  So why did Daddy finish his affair with this vixen and marry mummy?

 

Daddy came back from the bathroom enveloped by his cologne, it made me feel light headed and all fuzzy inside.  He must have noticed my consternation and asked, “Penny for your thoughts.”  I tried several times to put my thoughts into words, but I didn’t want to say the wrong thing; in the end I just said, “There must be something wrong with her; no one can be that perfect.”  I frowned.

 

Then a thought hit me, “Her voice!  It was like finger nails on a chalkboard?”

 

Daddy chuckled, “Nope!  Smooth as caramel.”

 

“Her attitude?  She was the bitch from hell?”  I continued.

 

Starting to laugh he said, “Nope!  You couldn’t find a kinder more caring and compassionate soul.”

 

I sat back wondering. “How about humour?”

 

He sat on mummy’s makeup stool putting on his shoes, “She was the funniest person I have ever known; her wit unsurpassed.”

 

“Then she must have been clumsy; to the point of being dangerous?”  I knew I was clutching at straws and knew it showed on my face.

 

Daddy shook his head, “now you’re scrapping the bottom of the barrel.  Let me tell you she’s as agile and sure footed as a gazelle.”

 

“She’s a lady, a wonderful companion, a confidant, a tramp and a whore, and the best thing about her; she’s knows exactly how and when to use each and every one of her amazing talents.”  He wickedly smiled

 

I was a bit taken back by the tramp and whore comment, “Then I give up, I have no idea.  What was it that made you give her up in favour of mummy?”

 

Daddy stopped flicking lint off his trousers; I have never before seen the look on his face, serious and smirking at the same time, it made me uneasy.

 

“What makes you think I gave her up?”  Was all he said.

 

I was dumbfounded; totally speechless, “But…but” I couldn’t go on; I couldn’t believe what my Daddy had just alluded to.  All sorts of emotions coalesced inside me; dismay, anger, rage; but I think sorrow was the one that won out in the end.  And this entire time Daddy went on getting ready as though nothing was wrong.

 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes and a lump forming in my throat; it was at this time that I realized that it was she he was going to meet tonight.  Mummy wasn’t here getting ready, she must still be at work.

 

 

“You’re going to meet her tonight; aren’t you?”  I said, half hoping he’d emphatically deny it.

 

Daddy nodded almost absentmindedly, “Sure am!” He stated, while putting on his coat.

 

I was defeated, lost; my whole life was gone; the ground felt like it had given way from under me, I was drowning in confusion and sadness.  In the end all I could say was, “Does mummy know?

 

Daddy smiled at me, and I really wanted to jump up and slap his face; but his next comment stalled my action, “She sure does!  She’s the one that set it up; she rang me this morning to give me all the details of where and when.”

 

Daddy strode off into the lounge room leaving me flabbergasted and even more dumbfounded than I was before.  I sat there trying to get some sort of order out of it.  I realized that there was really nothing I could do; they were adults and could do as they wished even though I didn’t understand, I’d have to be grown up about it, at least until I could talk to my mother.

 

Daddy called from the lounge room, “I gotta go kitten, and we still haven’t solved your problem yet.”  I came out feeling dejected.  My problem didn’t seem important now, either that or it now seemed unsolvable; I just felt so confused; I didn’t even feel like crying.

 

“That’s ok Daddy.” I said, noticing him straightening his tie and I really didn’t wanting to continue this conversation.

 

“No!  You asked me for my opinion, and if you thought it important enough to ask, then I’ll help as much as I can.  All I can say is that no matter what you see in front of you; that’s all eyes candy, what really matters is what’s inside that thin veneer, and the only thing that can judge that is your heart.  The eyes see; but the heart feels.  Looks can change and fade with time, but the soul is timeless and never changing.”

 

Tucking a hanky into his coat pocket he continued, “What do you think?  Do I pass for acceptable?” without waiting for a reply, “Trust your heart kitten, it will know.”  He finished with a sympathetic smile.

 

Then he said something that froze me in my tracks, “I suggest you ring Melissa and talk it out, better yet; you have the house to yourself until tomorrow afternoon, invite her to stay the night.  I’ll even allow you to use the master bedroom, just as long as you change the sheets and tidy up before your mother gets home; I’m not sure how she’ll react to crumpled bed linen.” He grinned.

 

I stood there shaking my head wondering how I had got sucked into this.  One minute I had the moral high ground and the next, I was trying desperately to dig myself out of a hole.  Like a rabbit caught in the headlights of an on coming car. Daddy’s car…

 

Then he asked, “You saying this isn’t about your relationship with Melissa?”

 

I was caught; no where to go but come clean, but how do you do that and keep your dignity.  “No! …I mean yes; Ohhhh I don’t know.” I was frightened out of my wits and confused beyond belief; I just slumped into the couch, “You angry?”  I ventured; I really couldn’t tell what my father was thinking anymore.

 

Daddy smiled as he squatted in front of me and took my hand rubbing it, “There’s no reason to be angry, as long as my baby girl has love in her life, then what more could a parent ask for.”  I sighed more from puzzlement than relief; I still couldn’t believe that my Daddy knew I was a lesbian and didn’t rant and rave and ground me for the rest of my natural life.

 

“How did you know?” I asked, still deathly scared.

 

Daddy beamed his million dollar smile, “A father just knows,” He quipped, “Not seeing any boys hanging around littering up the place was a big tip off; that and the fact that I also saw the two of you snogging while you were aggressively humping Melissa’s leg out behind the garage.” He chuckled.

 

Now I had embarrassment to add to my list of emotions; my face felt like it had spontaneously combusted, and I buried it in my hands groaning, “Ohhhh My God No; I’m so sorry Daddy, it’ll never happen again, I’ll call Melissa and tell her it’s all over, I promise.”  I knew I was babbling, and now I was whole heartedly crying my eyes out; Daddy lent forward and kissed me gently on my forehead, “There, there snookems, its ok, stop crying; I’m happy if you’re happy, you don’t need to tell Melissa any such thing.”  I wiped at my face, “You mean that?” I asked hesitantly still blushing like a beetroot.

 

“Sure Kitten!  I have to admit I was a little taken back, not much though.  I was more concerned that my little Kitty Kat had become a sexual woman, with all the desires and needs that goes along with it, but I had one consolation; at least you weren’t going to come home pregnant.”  He chuckled.

 

“Ohhhh Daddy!  You can be really rude sometimes,” I giggled, starting to feel a little better.

 

I took a deep breath; now relieved that things were out in the open and Daddy wasn’t angry, “You had better get going if you want to be on time for your date with that wicked vixen.”

 

“Ohhhh geeeezes, your right, I better get going; you know how your mother hates to be kept waiting.”  Daddy kissed me on the hand, and headed for the door.

 

Now I was back to being confused again, you know it can be really stressful on the nervous system, and it was starting to piss me off, “Hey wait just one damn minute; aren’t you having a date with your harlot; the blonde bombshell?”  Rolling my eyes.

 

Daddy turned with that damned evil grin on his face again, “You bet your sweat patutti I am, and the more the harlot and slut she is; the more I’m going to love it.” He says chuckling

 

“Well?  I don’t understand; what’s mummy going to be doing?

 

“Loving every minute of it I hope,” he said

 

“Are you guys going to have a threesome?” I asked incredulously.

 

“Who said anything about a threesome; your mother is fairly adventurous but I really don’t think she’d go for that, but I’ll ask her just for you; if you like.”  He was grinning from ear to ear.

 

That’s when the penny dropped, “you bastard; you’re really mean Daddy.  Your mysterious wench is mummy; isn’t it?”

 

Daddy burst out laughing, “I was wondering when it’d fall into place for you.”

 

I felt wave after wave of embarrassment and relief rush over me; I thought my whole life was a sham, but it was all Daddy’s weird idea of a joke.  I leapt up and ran for him, throwing a cushion at him; then wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him the biggest hug, “Daddy!  I’m going to get you back for this and that’s a promise; now get your arse out that door.  There’s a wanton woman waiting for the shagging of a life time and you better do her good.”

 

Daddy reared back on mock shock and horror, “Kitten!  You can be so rude and crude; sometimes I wonder if you’re actually my daughter.”  He was laughing as he walked down the drive to his car.

 

Just before he reversed out; he stuck his head out the window, “Just to make it up to you; I’ll con your mother into another night away, that should give you the whole weekend to sort things out with Melissa…deal?.”

 

I smiled and shook my head in wonderment, “You’re the best Daddy, and thanks; I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too Kitten, you have fun; and remember…Follow your heart, it knows best.”

 

“I will Daddy, thanks again” As I watched Daddy backing out of the drive, I sighed.  This afternoon was one for the books; I was so washed out from emotional stress that all I wanted to do was sleep for a week. 

 

I thought of Melissa and her sexy butt and pert succulent nipples, then it hit me; I had just finished lusting after my own mother’s body.  “Ohhhh damn,” now I feel really creepy as a shudder coursed though me.  I tried to shake it off, just as something I was thinking earlier came back to haunt me; the thought penetrated my addled brain.  “I vowed to meet this amazing woman; you never know, maybe she does swing both ways.”

 

“Ohhhh you bastard!” I said out loud, as my mind went back over what Daddy had said, “You are so dead Daddy!” as I shook my fist at the receding car; I ran down the drive way as he gunned the motor and took off down the street; I ran out onto the road shouting, “That is so not funny; you’re mean Daddy, your dead, so dead; just wait till I get hold of… dead you bastard!  You hear me. I’m going to tell mummy; in fact I might just ring her before you get to your date,” I paused a little, “Well I would if I could remember her mobile number.  Dead meat!”  I yelled down a now empty street.

 

That’s when I realized that the whole neighbourhood could probably hear me and stormed back up the drive.  My Daddy had known all along that I was getting turned on by his sensual description of my mother’s body; he already knew of my lesbian tendencies. “Eeeewwww! That is so mean!”

 

I got that creepy feeling again and shuddered; this could scar me for the rest of my life.

 

I decided I needed to have some diversion to get my thoughts off my mother and my heart said, “Go ring Melissa and tell her to get her sexy arse over here; you won’t regret it.” And hey, who am I to ignore my heart or my Daddy’s advice.

 

“He is so dead, I tell ya,” I giggled, “Or he would be if I didn’t love him so much.”

 

Now there maybe those amongst you who are scratching your heads and wondering how on earth could I not know it was mummy my father was describing.

 

Well!  Twenty three years, three children, about ten pounds and seeing her this morning in her worn out pink dressing gown; coming down to breakfast can do it nicely.  Only porn stars get out of bed looking like they stepped out of a beauty salon.  I also see mum through a daughter’s eyes; as the person that changed my nappies, blew my nose, repaired my skinned knees and did all those other mummy type things; on the other hand my Daddy sees the twenty year old who captivated his heart so long ago.

 

While his eyes feast voraciously on her beauty; it’s her soul that fills his heart.  And that is as it should be.

 

There were a couple of lessons I learned out of all this; besides not completely trusting my Daddy’s stories when he’s in one of those moods. And that is…

 

1… Never take anything or anyone for granted; especially those you love.

2… Don’t ask a question unless you’re prepared to wear the truth. 

3… Be true to your heart.  It never says much; so listen when it has something to say.

4… Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

5…Physical beauty while being nice; is nothing more than the chocolate of an Easter egg.  It may be pleasing to the senses and can be jazzed up with all sorts of glitz and glamour but it is far too fleeting, fragile and transient.

6…A soul will pass the tests of time and grow more beautiful each and every day, and all you need to nourish it into bloom, is a little TLC.

 

So; if you want to know if someone is right for you.  Do as my Daddy says.

 

“Listen to your heart.”