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| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Sysyfys
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 3, 2011 |
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I love breast stimulation and torture, and this was good. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
ksst
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 2, 2011 |
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The story kind of scared me when I read it, but then it keeps coming back to me the most intense and intimate ways. I'd say it's a powerful telling and gets to the emotions of the situation. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
brace
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 27, 2011 |
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I have to agree with Michael247. It was a very good journal entry. I look forward to the next installment. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Jake B.
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 27, 2011 |
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I very much enjoyed the story!. As I'm not a proficient writer or author I can't speak to the punctuation within, however I could get a very good sense of the pain and discomfort the female was going through and hope you continue on this story line in more detail.
Good job, you have a faithful follower here. Thanks for writing. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
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This was a great start from a new writer here at the BDSM Library.
*
There isn't a whole lot to critique here due to the nature of the "tale" itself. Obviously this is a journal entry rather than a story. There is no discernible plot other than "this is what happened" which under the circumstances, isn't bad. I have the feeling the author's writing here is auto-biographical, which adds a definite sense of realism to the story itself.
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There are a couple of things I would advise the author. First of all, don't over use the "three dots" Writing is a lot different than speaking, and what the author is doing is using those three dots to add "pregnant pauses" in the speech. Use commas. It's grammatically correct and makes your format look better. Technically three dots (which is called an ellipsis) is to allow you to omit words while quoting. Not for "pausing".
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The author could also spend a bit more time on description, specifically action description. For example, I had trouble visualizing the first scene when her husband was both abusing her breasts AND getting a blowjob. Was he on her left side or right? Was she at an angle? Was he bent over her? I'm not sure. The author never said.
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All in all this was a nice beginning. It doesn't technically need to "be continued", but I think more from this author, perhaps with "an account of [her] clitoral sensitivity training" might be rather fun.
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
GwaiLo
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 23, 2011 |
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I really enjoyed this... look forward to any further updates as you continue with the training :) (9/10)
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