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Allison Is Blackmailed
Author: Thomas Chaser
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(Added on Mar 6, 2011)
(This month 58960 readers) (Total 69873 readers) |
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Allison, a college student, decides to flirt with a boy in class and ends up his sex slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 12, 2011 |
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Hopefully there will be more installments and we will learn how Allison became her aunts sex slave and more importantly is she still aunts slave and if not how did she escape? i like Michael247's suggestion for growing the plot, should make for an enjoyable ongoing read.
The one thing that annoyed me was the constant switching between the male student being described as boy and man. Which is he? (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
DeGrinch
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 18, 2011 |
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Well I liked it(the story) it has a good start with the intro of the main chacter and a little of her back story, then moves quickly to the sex, although, I did think that the reason for her submitting to the boy was a little thin.
Over all a good tale, and I hope there is more to come. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 7, 2011 |
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Everything was going so well, right up to the part when he said "I know your secret."
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Okay, first of all I kind of waffled on giving this one a seven because I really liked it. The author, Mr. Thomas Chaser did a pretty good job with the language, balanced description, action, and dialog well, and in general presented things in an understandable manner.
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Where we run into problems is plot arc. So what is the plot of this piece. Well, when you first start reading, you think its the whole situation Allison has gotten into with the car dealership saleslady and I fully expected to find out what happens when she "takes her car in" that afternoon. But oh wait! No, now she's teasing the boy next to her who she just then identifies as a "player". I expect us to be led down that seductive path for some school yard sex. But no... He BLACKMAILS her with her dark secret, her sexual slavery to her aunt! So now I'm expecting to get the dark and dirty secrets of the incestuous sexual abuse that made Allison the dirty slut she is today. But wait! NO! No, the boy wants to use the secret in order to make Allison HIS own personal sex slave. And that's the plot the author finally decides to hang his hat on. Gosh. Either this is a major case of "I want to write a bunch of Allison stories and needed to introduce a bunch of concepts right at the beginning with no prep so I can write sequels or this is a confusing mishmash of concepts the author has treated us too in preparation for his own decision on where he wanted the story to go.
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Of course, once it headed that direction, the story was pretty good. We just had that one confusing moment right at the beginning. Oh well, right?
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So in summary we've got a pretty good story that spends a bit of time vascillating between plot lines. If you can get past that, go for it!
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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- Replied by:
skullchaser
(Edit) (Mar 7, 2011)
- You are spot-on correct! The options I was presented with didn't really appeal to me, but I figured I'd throw them in there; possibly as a way to show depth to the character and/or her motivation for actually doing what she does. And, who knows, maybe another author will pick up the gauntlet and turn it into a community project. I'm thinking serial!
**
By the way, I still love your "Museum of the Inquisition" piece. One of my favorites in theme and execution.
- Replied by:
monica_snatch
(Edit) (Mar 8, 2011)
- Michael hit the nail right on the head.
*****
After the reveal about the car dealership saleslady I too was expecting an expose about what happened between them. Then I anticipated her flashing the boy and the pair of them hooking up, with him perhaps discovering Allison and the dealership lady 'finding a way to get Allison a better deal on her service prices'. Alas, that didn't happen.
*****
What did happen though, was a blackmail scene between the flasher and the flashee which led to some raunchy sex.
*****
All in all I thought it was well written, but only because I persevered and read it all. The change in tack for the direction of the plot almost caused me to stop reading, but I was curious about what intentions the boy had for her. I was also curious what the boy knew about her aunt, something else that never got revealed other than 'He knew about her secret with her aunt.' That secret could have been anything. There was no development of their relationship other than Allison's "Oh my god!" type response to his words and her thoughts about what he knew.
*****
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Mar 8, 2011)
- Skullchaser - Thank you for your kind words about "The Museum of Inquisition". It's still one of my favorites, which you probably are aware of since I've used the Breanne character so much. Of course, I ended up modeling that character on the REAL Breanne who writes for my blog and website, but the original girl was still pretty cool.
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In any event, I think you've got a lot going for you as far as your Allison concept is concerned. If I were you I'd write a few sequels, each exploring the plot concepts you outlined above, each with increasingly diabolical sexual torments, culminating in the boy (who obviously has a penchant for spying out secrets) gathers the whole group: auntie, saleslady, and Allison for a whole evening of entertainment in the final installment. You've got something good going here. Take it away!
*
Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.blogspot.com)
- Replied by:
Curtis
(Edit) (Mar 9, 2011)
- I'm putting this in as a reply rather than a review because it's not really relevant to the story: The lecture was not on the difference between mean, median and average; it was on the differences between mean, median and mode, which are three of the various types of averages.
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Mar 9, 2011)
- @Curtis - It's great that you pointed that out! I didn't even notice that, but you are absolutely right. So now we have to ask ourselves, was this a mistake by the AUTHOR, or by Allison, who was obviously thinking of something other than averages that afternoon? I think in nitpicking terms it's called "Possible Intentional Mistake By Author". LOL - Good catch Curtis!
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