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Natalie's Halloween
Author: InspectorA
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(Added on Jan 16, 2011)
(This month 72672 readers) (Total 101967 readers) |
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Natalie is a super hot 27 year old finally getting free from her opressive parents whom have always told her that Halloween is only a night to get into trouble. Tonight, Natalie puts herself into trouble and plans to enjoy every second of it. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 18, 2012 |
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Your style of paragraphing makes this a little hard to read, but you don't appear to be suffering from the disastrous formatting problems some posters have on this site.
I presume you will have at least one more installment (there's a hint of two), so I won't give anything away, but this was very well written, and you left off at the perfect place for a cliffhanger. Great job so far.
EDIT: Part two was a major disappointment. Aside from the niggling writing mistakes (two people speaking in the same paragraph), it was just a huge letdown. Part two started fairly well, but as soon as InspectorA shows up on her doorstep (notice I'm no longer worried about a spoiler alert) the whole thing grinds to a halt and ends (or drags on) in a very unsatisfactory manner. Dropped two points. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Slavescott
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 21, 2011 |
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Good story. It left me looking for the next installment. I wish the system had a notification set up for when updates are released. Please continue writing. (8/10)
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