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Pay Any Price
Author: Ty_M_Goode
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(Added on May 25, 2010)
(This month 67230 readers) (Total 99988 readers) |
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Stephen Underwood expects foul play in his sixteen year-old stepdaughter's disappearance. He has no idea how "foul", until he watches the ransom video. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
trainsum
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 30, 2016 |
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Just about as perfect a story as I've every read: or perhaps I should say a perfect start to a longer story. Nice slow build up at the start leads into the "nuts and bolts" of the "give me the money or your daughter gets it' premise. A part two could involve the kidnapers surprise when the father unexpectedly resists the ransom demand, which of course leads to more dvd's showing the further tortures undergone by the helpless girl. Will the father ever pay up or is he enjoying the new surprises contained in each dvd just a little too much. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
sockslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 10, 2010 |
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Very nice. Sick and devious. It was great for a short story. However the number of things done to the girl was a bit much for her only having been gone a few hours. Multiple DVD's over several days showing the progression of tortures would have been more believable, with the standard "don't go to the cops". Just a suggestion, but great story as it is. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
innocent_violet
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 8, 2010 |
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It was a great begining I can't wait to read more... (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Roadrunner2005
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2010 |
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A well-written and tantalizing beginning. Can't wait to see part II! (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
SteveL
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 28, 2010 |
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Very nice - hopefully there will be a part 2... (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
megfar
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 28, 2010 |
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Excited to see where this story goes from here (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
DomBob
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 26, 2010 |
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This story is well written and engaging. The opening paragraph sets an ominous tone that captivates and draws you in.
The middle of the chapter describes a scene with a teen strapped to a chair. Much time is spent describing her situation including a lot of exact measurements that tended to stall the story. Dont get me wrong, I loved the description of the white ball-gag, but I did not need to learn that 80% of it was inside her mouth or that the straps were exactly 1 and 1/2 inches. It might flow better without numbers.
The girl was described as being very tormented with both nipples pierced, vagina pierced, shaved, mechanical dildo and electro-shock - A huge amount of things done to her in a short time. It may have paced better if the ransom video showed one humiliation being done for the camera and have the other torments performed over the next few chapters. For example: the kidnapper could show him wrapping her breasts tightly with rope/tape, and showing a thick needle/leather awl then proceeding to pierce her nipples for the initial video.
The story also seemed to neglect the girls expression/emotion as a part of the story. Having her glare defiantly at her kidnapper, struggle against him, then turn to fear as the instruments are shown to her, then describe her pain and suffering as she is pierced - this would have made her torment come alive.
But I cannot wait for the next chapter. Keep writing please. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 26, 2010 |
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Wow. What a great story. I've written an in-depth review/analysis of "Pay Any Price" and featured it on my blog: http://michaelalexanderstories.blogspot.com/2010/05/story-review-pay-any-price-by-tm-goode.html
(9/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 26, 2010 |
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When I write a story which has a Porsche Carrera doing 400Km/h, and folks say my story is unbelievable because Carrera's don't go that fast, I stick-up a middle finger in their general direction, because it's MY story and --since Volkswagen/Bugatti did the trick-- I can make a Porsche go that fast.
Meaning that I don't get it how people get all negative because they are themselves unable to follow an author's lead.
I found nothing wrong with "Pay Any Price". Sure, my eyebrows went North a few times, while the kidnapper was going about his business, but I grant the writer his perogatives.
A fat niner which I upgrade to a nice tenner, because, guess what, this short is very well written...
JJ (10/10)
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- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (May 26, 2010)
- Well said, Jimmy.
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| Reviewer:
Dryhill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 26, 2010 |
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A lot of good solid detail allowing the reader to get to know something of the two main characters and how they came to be together. Then switches straight into an unbelieveable storyline, which needs the promised future chapter to give us an ending.
The story is unbelieveable in that no kidnapper is going to harm the captive if they want the money, at least not on the first video/dvd. later they might harm the victim then kill her - is this were the story is going? (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 25, 2010 |
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It has good points, the middle is very good but the end is disappointing, it all depends on where the plot goes whether I can revies my rating upwards but for now it's a 7 (7/10)
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