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Store Slave
Author: slut_jasmine
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(Added on Jul 4, 2007)
(This month 66001 readers) (Total 84139 readers) |
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Suffering from being fired and not being able to attain a job, our victim applies for a job at an Adult store. The agreement soon turns takes a turn for the worst. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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17% |
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17% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
| Average
Rating: (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2009 |
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nice job (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 21, 2008 |
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This is a story that clearly belongs in the fantasy realm. As such, it really does well.
One thing I would like to put forward, is to use more elaborate general descriptions.
Now, it feels (or reads) like the writer is too detached from what he/she is writing and the reader ends-up with what seems like a second-hand reciting of events. If that was the purpose of the writer, I withdraw my comment. If not, please try to make the subject thyne own by getting more in touch with it. Imagine yourself in the situation of one of the characters and write down how you would react or what you would do or say... the result will be more satisfactory for both the readers and the writer...
JJ (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
pinkpansy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2007 |
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very good for a first story! i've reread it 3 times (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
zcon_disk
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2007 |
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Wonderful! Hope to see much more from this author. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Avralivia
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 5, 2007 |
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good storyline and was interesting, but lacked real depth, i didnt *believe* the story so to speak, particularly the end, she would never have survived like that... but still lol not bad, iv'e read far worse first attempts! (6/10)
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| Reviewer:
Panther007
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 4, 2007 |
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For a first story it's damn good. Loved the elements of humiliation and degradation the main character goes through. (8/10)
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