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All The Way Down
Author: Nobadge
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(Added on Dec 18, 2006)
(This month 52705 readers) (Total 107812 readers) |
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One Beautiful and Happily Married Wealthy Housewife opens the door on One of her young son\'s friends on a seemingly innocent errand, but seething at the injustice of the Wealth & Social Gap between their families he intends to change all that dramatically |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 16 |
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6% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Norwood
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 13, 2008 |
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Excellent story, one of the best!
But I have a request to the author: please continue it!
I would be nice for instance to see how Tommy force Susan to seduce her own son... (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Willi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 4, 2008 |
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very great job,
hoping you are working for an update.
Please write more of it.
I´m waiting such an long time (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
nakdsub
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 20, 2008 |
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Great story. I hope to read more chapters very soon. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
johhny
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 18, 2007 |
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strange someone says a story holds their interest and then say they cannot finish it!.A Good Work of realistic fiction Tho, keep it up as its a good storyline, innocent people do get hurt in this life so its no bad thing to reflect that now and again instead of the usual mundane unbelievable stuff. maybe right about the spellcheck and so on but thats a pretty minor gripe considering we are not paying to read it! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Clevernick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 13, 2007 |
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Good work! The story really does work, and it holds my interest! Nothing wrong with an antihero, I say, and making him short and ratty is brilliant.
You really should work on the capitalization and punctuation -- there's no reason why "Blouse" or "Red Satin" should have a capital, and it looks like many places that need a comma or semicolon or dash just got an extra space instead.
It's distracting enough to make it hard to keep reading sometimes.
And it says nothing about your talent, but it matters to the readers -- so why not get some help from Word? Use the spellcheck and grammar checkers and believe them, or ask friends, or read Strunk and White and take it to heart.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strunk_and_white
Content: 9/10
Style: 7/10
Spelling & Punc: 6/10
Since the guidelines say to emphasise style over content, I'll average them to a 7, and raise it later if you start using that spellchecker...
-----
One more thing, and this is my own preference, not a comment specifically about your story, but you made me put it into words.
I stopped reading your story without finishing, and it wasn't due to poor writing or poor handling of the subject. I just realized why it was.
I can handle almost any treatment of a female victim if she's been a horrible person at the story's beginning. But a total innocent like Susan being brought "all the way down" just turns my stomach.
Now that's hypocritical, and I realize it. A true humanist would be squicked by the treatment on the basis that nobody can possibly deserve to lose their humanity.
But if you can seduce readers like me into thinking the victim deserves it, you make them see the darkness in their own souls, and you have taken your story from good to great.
(7/10)
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- Replied by:
Willi
(Edit) (Aug 13, 2007)
- The story is great, from the first to the last line, this here is not a Pro-Writer.
I love this story, and who does it not, read an other .
I say update, update update.
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 12, 2007 |
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I really argued with myself as to if I would review this one; after azrig17 got kicked around (below) for making true and, in his opinion, appropriate points. Well, the last few paragraphs, on rereading, convinced me.
1) random words here and there capitalized for no reason. 2)Poorly edited grammatical mistakes in many places. And
3) Just way too many illogical progressions in the tale.
A good editor might help make this a better, more readable story. But it would take some work. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
vinager14
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 18, 2007 |
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Good job I hope you use that slut and her family for many chapters to cum. she just started to beg so keep her well supplied with H.and Happy (9/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 19, 2007)
- thanks for ther encouragement, hope you continue enjoying the story
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 17, 2007 |
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I will not speak for other reviers but I found thissotry scorching hot great everything (10/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 18, 2007)
- just hope you continue to enjoy the story as it unfolds, many thanks
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| Reviewer:
Dbones
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 10, 2007 |
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This is thus far a very good story about a prim and proper housewife being led forcefully down into submission and humiliation. Some details need work, but the author has done a excellent job of creating a multi-faceted enviroment for the story to be told in. It could use a spell check (ex. found vagina was spelled as virginia). But the storyline itself great. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 10, 2007)
- appreciate your taking the time to review the story, I take your point and think there is a need to 'beef out' a few of the characters and provide more Illumination as to the reasoning behind certain pathways, also I shall try to be more careful with the spelling for sure.
And thanks very much for the vote
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| Reviewer:
azrlg17
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 8, 2007 |
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Interesting but unbelievable.
She lives in an upper class neighborhood yet nobody hears her yelling for help and crying out in pain and calls the cops? Don't think so.
Susan has a husband who enjoys sex with her and yet they only do it in their nightclothes? Ridiculous. Really really ridiculous.
She can simply go to the cops and does not do it? Yeah I know in stories in the BDSM-library no victim ever does but I still find that unrealistic.
Heroin doesn't effect people like in the story. For one thing it will make you very sleepy (after the high). Also giving a newby H multiple times in 36 hours would probably kill them unless you are an expert with dosage. Heroin induces euphoria but if you want to improve sex then you should use cocaine. And normally you only get physically hooked after about 2 weeks of daily use not after the 1st weekend.
Also I find Tommy is really really obnoxious and unlikable.
All in all it would have been nicer if the story had ended after the 1st weekend with Tommy in jail. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 8, 2007)
- Interesting review, perhaps you need to be reminded this site is for Fiction and Fantasy. Try looking that up in a dictionary, its a licence to induldge in the kind of fantasies most of us would have nothing to do with in r/l and Jezz, Tommy is not supposed to likable Dont' like it pal? dont read it!
- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 8, 2007)
- many thanks for taking the time to review the story
- Replied by:
azrlg17
(Edit) (Jan 8, 2007)
- Yes I know what fantasy is. If you want to write fantasy then don't call a drug that makes her horny heroin. That's not fantasy but simply bad research or laziness.
There are more than enough stories on this site about top secret new military drugs and whatnot. Most likely that's all bullshit but at least you can see it as fantasy.
As for not reading it, thanks, I already stopped.
- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 9, 2007)
- Good, seems you dont read very well, Tommy never had any intention of using smack as a 'sex drug,he knows it not via his mother, for that he would use crystal meth.but that may not appear in the web site you seem to get your info from. H is used as a means of control not as a sex drug, coke would be no good unless it was crack as, being inhaled, it would have been pretty obvious to the user just what it was. Also triple glazing and houses 50 to 100 metres apart as those where I live, mean its almost impossible to hear many things. Reporting to the police,? leave the Ladies aside for one moment, If you are male ask yourself if another male stripped spanked and then raped you just how keen would you be to report it. Just look at the stats for unreported crimes.I'm
Pleased you have stopped reading the story if you don't understand the plot. All other feedback from email and votes has been very encouraging and I thank all those readers for that.
- Replied by:
azrlg17
(Edit) (Jan 9, 2007)
- Nice idea with the chrystal meth, too bad it is nowhere mentioned in the story :-). He injected her with smack and she got horny and into her whore fantasy. Too bad that after a couple of minutes she would be too sleepy to have sex but I can see that you don't care too much about details like this. I would have been easy to gag her so that nobody could hear her (even when houses are far apart, nobody jogs, walks, rides a bike by her house all that time?), it would have been easy to describe her as not having much sex with her husband instead of the ridiculous "only clothed" sex, it would have been easy to use the correct drug. A few details and this story wouldn't just appeal to the sex part of the brain. You got mostly good reviews that's true and the sex parts of the story are really not that bad. But I see you can't take criticism without trying to get back with personal attacks so I change my rating. Of course, goood boy, you get a 10 of 10 from me. Satisfied?
- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 10, 2007)
- Author yawn's, say goodnight gracie, 'Goodnight Gracie'
- Replied by:
azrlg17
(Edit) (Jan 15, 2007)
- Reviewers yawn says I like to get the last word in :-).
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| Reviewer:
longsong
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 4, 2007 |
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Wonderfully well written extremely erotic,eagerly awaiting the rest (10/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Jan 5, 2007)
- a fantastic vote very much appreciated, hope you enjoy the next parts
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| Reviewer:
Aussiegirl1
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 28, 2006 |
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Well done Nobadge,
You have set the scene well for the following chapters. I do look forward to reading them.
Aussiegirl (9/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Dec 29, 2006)
- Many thanks for taking the time to review the story, just hope you enjoy the next chapter
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| Reviewer:
dims25
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 23, 2006 |
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Very well written, impatiently wait for the next chapter (9/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Dec 23, 2006)
- not for too long I hope, many thanks for your encouraging comments
- Replied by:
dims25
(Edit) (Jan 8, 2007)
- It's getting better and better. Hope to see humiliation of Susan not only by men, but also by the lower-class girls/women
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| Reviewer:
Tcheser
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 20, 2006 |
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Good so far. Will be even better after next chapter. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Dec 21, 2006)
- very much hope you enjoy part two, starts to get a little hotter there!
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| Reviewer:
JonMaddux
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 19, 2006 |
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The story is well written and kept my attention very well. I was actually pissed when i scrolled to the bottom and saw it was continued! I cant wait to see the next chapters! (9/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Dec 20, 2006)
- many thanks, shall try and keep your interest, pissed or otherwise!!
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| Reviewer:
dennisthmn
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 19, 2006 |
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very good. waiting for the next chapter eargerly (9/10)
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- Replied by:
nobadge
(Edit) (Dec 19, 2006)
- many thanks for those words, hope you enjoy part two coming shortly
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