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Bunny Rabbit
Author: DJD
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(Added on Oct 5, 2006)
(This month 18416 readers) (Total 37558 readers) |
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The story has a lot of humiliation, heavy bondage, kidnapping undertones. It\'s about a young man coming out of his shell and getting more than he thought he bargined for. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (3/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (3/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
ElectricBadger
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 6, 2006 |
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Needs structure and grammar, and a switch from telling (She was pretty) to showing (her hourglass figure thrilled me). Paragraphs and proper punctuation would make this much more readable! (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
Millie
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 6, 2006 |
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I like the idea but you need to work on presentation and grammar. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
abitbent
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 5, 2006 |
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The author has a great imagination however the writing skills are mediocre. Hints... try starting a sentence without constantly using the words "She..." or "I..." Paragraphs would also help make this story easier to read. (3/10)
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- Replied by:
peter5070
(Edit) (Oct 6, 2006)
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- Replied by:
peter5070
(Edit) (Oct 6, 2006)
- I am not an author or a teacher or a proof reader. I know the grammar is terrible.I haven't written anything since I left high school. I just thought that this could be a good place to post some of my stories. If there is someone out there that would be willing to proof read my stories let me know...if not you will have to look past the errors. This reply is not directed twords one person. Thank you for reading and god bless. DJD
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