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Sally Captured
Author: Aspererus
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(Added on Jul 24, 2006)
(This month 62320 readers) (Total 87834 readers) |
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A pretty young girl is captured and turned into a obedient slave. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (6.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (7/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (8/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
ramses
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 8, 2006 |
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Very nice start. I don't think there is anything wrong with your use of 'I', just love your story. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
ThisGirl
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 30, 2006 |
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Hot! Hot! Hot! If you don't write more, someone ought to spank your ass black and blue!!
The "I"'s are great- this story's lack of insight into the captured's emotions fit very well with the mood of the story. I think it's great the way it is. Keep on, please! (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2006 |
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I have to agree with Yami. There are way too many one sentence paragraphs, and it feels like every one of them begins with 'I'. I found it odd that the girl had nothing to say during the whole story. Did he gag her? If so, I missed it and wasn't interested enough to go back and look for it. I usually don't mind 'slow' stories that take a long time to get to the sex, but this one had nothing new to offer. In fact, this seemed uncomfortably like a reprint of one of a hundred old Star or Greenleaf books from a quarter century ago. There were also a couple of typos, but not an unusual number. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
bluejedi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2006 |
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i enjoyed reading this story very much and can't wait to read more about sally and her new owner. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
YamiNoHikari
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 26, 2006 |
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confused. please do something for pharagraph. And maybe that's too much of 'I'... others seem fine. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jul 25, 2006 |
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ggod start, like to see where you go from here (8/10)
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