|
|
|
|
|
Good, Bad Idea
Author: Gabrielle
|
| |
(Added on May 28, 2005)
(This month 49087 readers) (Total 69035 readers) |
| |
School bad boy takes advantige of the school loner. Finding out just how dirty she is. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 50% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
50% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (3.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (3/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (1/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Breannefun
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 31, 2005 |
| |
I think Dododecapod has the right review, but I think also that English is not your first language. Your plot outline is actually pretty good, you just need to work on your grammar and flow. Please try again, maybe resubmit this work after it has been edited. (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Dododecapod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 30, 2005 |
| |
Erm. Yes. Well.
I have been unkind to writers in the past - and frankly, this very much deserves unkindness. But, there is...the very slightest ghost of a valid concept here.
You have descriptions. They're not very good, and you use them apallingly, but you have them. And you appear to have, amazingly, a rudimentary grasp of composition.
The interspersion of the musical lyrics and the story is actually quite effective. Your dialogue is workmanlike, but fairly believable. You CAN write. These are the good points.
AS to the bad points: spellcheck. Spellcheck. FOR GOD'S SAKE, SPELLCHECK!!! I barely found a single SENTENCE that did not have egregious and totally unnecessary spelling errors.
Type more slowly and carefully. Two gaps in a word plus a missed apostrophe render any semblance of meaning utterly moot.
Your grammar exists. That is all I will say.
Please do not consider this a totally negative review. I would not have taken the time to write it if I did not see some value to your writing. (1/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Himmel
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 29, 2005 |
| |
)
(1/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
slaveneedledick
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 28, 2005 |
| |
The story was a very jumpy story. The plot to me did not flow well. Also the story had a lot of typos. A proof read would have caught the typos and could have improved the plot. (5/10)
|
|
|
About 