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Warrior of The Chevaan
Author: DarthSaad
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(Added on Oct 2, 2004)
(This month 121750 readers) (Total 185016 readers) |
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Her celtic people defeated by the Roman's, a young warrior woman trying to help a priestess escape is instead captured herself. now this proud, strong, and beautiful barbarian defiantly faces unspeakable torment at the hands of the Roman invaders. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 11 |
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27% |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Tavy
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 15, 2012 |
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Such a gripping story I can forget the occasional typo, though the manner of her final escape was slightly disapointing - a bit too incredible. (9/10)
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- Replied by:
darthsaad
(Edit) (May 15, 2012)
- Thanks for the review. This story leads into Underworld of the Chevaan. It was intended as more fantasy than history. Dont worry, if i get around to writing more about Conine you will find her escape from suffering to be short lived ;)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 22, 2009 |
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Being a descendant of the Gaelic Kelts myself and knowing a wee bit about history, there's quite a few mistakes and anachronisms here, but since the tale is a fantasy and has no historical claim to make, they are easily forgiven. I mean, we're not gonna sue Robert E. Howard because of inaccuracies in his Conan The Cimmerian series, do we.
But the words are out; Fantasy and Conan.
That's where this here tale veers to. And very nicely done too, thank you.
JJ (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Kira
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 11, 2004 |
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Very good torture story, i love to read it.
But to know that it is pure fantasy is important.
Try to find the highpoint, but there are so many till the end of the story, i think. Much fantasy is more important for me than wrong grammar.
Please start a new story as soon as possible. (10/10)
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- Replied by:
darthsaad
(Edit) (Apr 13, 2006)
- Thankyou for the very kind review and I am sorry it has taken so long to write back - hopefully you have been enjoying my other works. DS
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| Reviewer:
mgmoore
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 7, 2004 |
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Good story line, great imagry, as mentioned it would help to edit a bit before posting but keep it coming (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
tinglee
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 1, 2004 |
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excellent story I've enjoyed every chapter.Wonderfuly descriptive,don't worry about the harsh comments,If I had wanted Dickens I would have gone to the library. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
cliffodahoit
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Nov 24, 2004 |
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the writing was pretty good, ( except for the wrong grammars - but as the other reviewers said a good editor can fix that) the description of the suffering is very good, really vivid. keep it up! (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
WackySpurtz
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 24, 2004 |
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Written in the school style of silly pseudo-historical sadism, where victims are always proud and defiant. Yawn. OK, but lacks any real quality. (4/10)
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- Replied by:
DarthSaad
(Edit) (Oct 25, 2004)
- You need to give me more to work with her WS. Perhaps I should have listed the story as fantasy, since I have no illusions about its historical accuracy. However, your feedback does little to give me guidance for improvement, since your main comment is a distaste for the genre, it seems. If you have comment about the writing beyond the setting, please let me know - 'yawn' doesn't give me much to work with.
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 23, 2004 |
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it ewas worth reading and recommendable but you need a editor for the story (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
chksng19
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 5, 2004 |
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I'm not going to go into the errors as my predicessors have taken care of that.
Your writing truly expresses in vivid word-pictures the pain and suffering of the victim. The story has a lot of promise, and I can't wait to see the rest. Get the editor you need, and speed the next chapter to us!
By all means, keep writing! This is quite good. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
DarthSaad
(Edit) (Oct 25, 2004)
- Many thanks - how do I get an editor? Up to now Mike Coolham has been my chief sounding board.
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| Reviewer:
Breannefun
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 3, 2004 |
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Some major grammer errors such as ", but so fat she had not given up..." Spell check has rid us of mispelled words, but nothing is better than a real editor looking for problems. Content wise it was very nice, with some good flowing descriptions. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
DarthSaad
(Edit) (Oct 25, 2004)
- Thanks and I am endeavouring to tidy up later chapters. Glad you like the narrative.
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 2, 2004 |
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Darth, this first episode was beautifully imagined, but marred by an inordinate number of careless errors. Just in the first few paragraphs : ---
Her face was a mask of clam, ... horrors that the her recent lover ... Conine had no problems imaginings ... Those tresses were cut at shoulder length so it {they} rested .... guard dressed as the firs two, ... as eh was with all Chevaan ...///// It's really a shame for a writer with such a vivid erotic imagination to submit a chapter laced with so many easily correctable mistakes. Looking forward to more exciting chapters, but please, take an extra half-hour to proof-read your work next time. Those boo-boos really detract from what would otherwise have been a 9 1/2 or 10 reading experience. Good Luck! Gracus and I are both looking forward to the ensuing chapters.
(8/10)
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- Replied by:
DarthSaad
(Edit) (Oct 25, 2004)
- Thanks for the review and I am shamefaced at the number of errors - I submitted an early copy it appears. Hopefully I can replace it with a more polished version. I hope you are enjoying subsequent events as much as Gracus.
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