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Payment Due
Author: Shadow of a James
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(Added on May 24, 2004)
(This month 9514 readers) (Total 27854 readers) |
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Short story of a wife taking her payment for. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
bolondro4
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 12, 2007 |
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SLOW & WELL PACED. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
slvWriting
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 14, 2005 |
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Though the end took a turn not so much to my liking (not into pain), in general it is a great story, well written. It is short, concise and direct, attributes I value a lot. I'd like to read some new F/m story from you :) (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 27, 2004 |
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Oh James, Jame, James, you’ve done this before haven’t you?
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What a sweet little 'spank' story this is. It’s light and fun with a good dose of pain and suffering.
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Your descriptions, to me, were clear and exciting without being verbose. The dialog – his cheeky and smug, hers – hot and strong, was believable for a couple comfortable with each other. The paragraphs of back-story fitted in nicely, and I enjoyed reading about that also. I got a little confused as to whether or not he had seen her domme before, but that didn’t hinder my enjoyment of reading this.
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On the nit picky side. I noted a couple minor hiccups, but nothing too difficult to skim over. Also, I think you didn’t need to use quite as many he said/she saids; your dialog was all very clear and easy to follow, and a number of times I felt it could have easily stood alone making it a smoother read. And, watch your ‘and’s – I notice you used too many. (In one particular sentence, you have three of them and that’s two too many, unless your using one of them to join specific words. )
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Please bear in mind these are my opinions and observations only.
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I wish you well with your future writing.
(8/10)
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 24, 2004 |
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This was a well done little story. I enjoyed it. (8/10)
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