|
|
|
|
|
The High Tech Trained Girl
Author: Stigman38
|
| |
(Added on Mar 9, 2004)
(This month 32633 readers) (Total 70399 readers) |
| |
A fully paid manly heaven on earth with Masters who voluntarily goes to their place of work on their time off. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
17% |
0% |
17% |
0% |
67% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
| Average
Rating: (6/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Falcon
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 3, 2016 |
| |
This writer shows imagination in the way he defines obedience as an automated response 'in the marrow of the spine', rather than a conscious decision to obey. He elaborates this idea and how it might be achieved through high tech means instead of brutality. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2004 |
| |
Not my type of story, sorry (5/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 15, 2004 |
| |
I tend to agree with most of what’s already been said here. I too felt your lack of English fluency gave this story a kind interesting ‘flavour’. It’s not an entirely novel idea, but then many stories aren’t. I tend to think that often the secret of a good and enjoyable read is the presentation rather than it’s novelty value.
-
People who know a whole lot more about writing than I do say, don’t use exact measurements. It’s a better idea to describe things rather than give length width etc. Why? Well, because most times it’s more interesting to read a description rather than a measurement. Most people who know what 10 inch cock is, won’t have any idea how big 85 cm breasts are, and since this is the www web, you need to keep that in mind. I see you have used both metric (and imperial) in your story, but that’s my second point. The same smart people say don’t use brackets either because they ‘break the flow of suspended belief’.
-
I wish you well with your future writing.
(7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 12, 2004 |
| |
Again, I'm rating a point higher than I feel it deserves to counter Lex's '3'. I want to thank the author for notifying us that English isn't his native language. I agree with norcod that the story is more original than most abduction tales, and I believe the author is probably quite good in his native tongue. (I'm betting Swedish) That having been said, grammar aside, I noticed eight spelling errors of the sort that spell check doesn't pick up. Of course, Stig probably isn't proficient enough in English to pick them out on his own. I would advise him to try to stay away from English slang terms. Please use 'brother' instead of 'bro'. Every fourth or fifth sentence is perfect and, oddly, I found it jarring to read the 'good' sentences after getting accustomed to the 'bad' . I'm glad the story was marked as being continued. Good luck. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 11, 2004 |
| |
Nothing new here, stock characters doing stock things. I also can't excuse the miserable prose, despite the argument that its by someone from another country. Don't they have places that publish this kind of material? Why are we the dumping ground for such mediocrity? (3/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 10, 2004 |
| |
Although the writing style may be distracting to some, I found it acceptable but the author was up front about it. In fact, it gave a distinct flavor to the piece. My suspicion is Eastern European, anywhere from Czech Republic to Russia. Quite literate author whose English is just short of fluent.
As to the story, not entirely novel but certainly more clever than most abduction and slave training stories. There is almost an elegence to the way they use shocks rather than brutality.
Suggestions for further episodes? I can't really say right now. However, the author should not hesitate to engage in novel imaginings.
Good Luck (7/10)
|
|
|
About 