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Your Bitch
Author: Jeff Sparco
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(Added on Sep 10, 2003)
(This month 19263 readers) (Total 40435 readers) |
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Story of husband becoming wifes little bitch. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (4.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (4.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (3/10) |
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| Reviewer:
crickette
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 5, 2003 |
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I thought your story was pretty good for a first try. I did think the flow of the piece needed work in order to really grab the reader. (5/10)
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| Reviewer:
Emily
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 24, 2003 |
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This story is a tough read with too many blocks of text. It needs much work and generated very little heat. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
trainmanretep
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 12, 2003 |
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Concept is OK, but the way the story was written, its very difficult to read - it does not flow. (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
S_Couture
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Sep 10, 2003 |
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The story show promise, but the author needs to work on it a little more next time. There were several problems, the first of which was writing in second person. Not a good idea unless you are an experienced author, and even then, it probably still isn't.
Also, the paragraphs are too long. Both these factors combine to make it hard to read and hard to get into. A good first effort, but keeping these things in mind should make your next one much better. (5/10)
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