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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 8, 2012 |
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Originality must be a lost art.
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I know it sounds odd, but I've always been a fan of snuff and cannibalism stories. It's not that I think eating a girl is cool. It's not. But I have always liked the control and attitude involved. So whenever a new snuff story crosses my plate, I like to sink my teeth into it.
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The Conversion of Kimberly is a classic cannibalism snuff tale that clearly uses the artwork of Dolcett as the primary muse. Heck, the author even used "Hill's Meat", a direct reference to Dolcett's drawings. The "Kimberly" spit machine was another. If you are at all familiar with Dolcett's work, than "The Conversion of Kimberly" will be not only familiar, but rather predictable.
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There are a couple of issues with the story before I talk plot. The first is formatting. What on earth caused the author to make the font color that hideous shade of blue? It was very difficult to read and only the abnormally large font size enabled me to get through the tale in the first place. Black. Black is the color for print. At least in this sort of environment. Second, paragraphs. Paragraphs are a writing system that allows authors to give readers the necessary visual clues to tell them when one set of concepts (or involved sentences) is finished and it's time to begin a new one. Use paragraphs. Otherwise the whole thing is one long run on mishmash that is very difficult to read.
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Now let's talk plot. As is obvious from my rating, the overall writing wasn't bad. The problem was that there wasn't anything spectacular about this story that went beyond the totally expected plot. The main character had the personality of an under ripe banana - soft, mushy, and sort of bland. The action described was described well, but it was EXACTLY what happened in the Dolcett comics. Why on earth would I want to read it when I can look at Dolcett's art work? The whole idea of writing a STORY is to go beyond what can be successfully communicated with art alone. This is the medium for really exploring the character's thoughts, for breaking out of the mold.
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I think that the talent of the authors demonstrates that there is some real writing ability in there, but they need to break out of the totally expected "let me reproduce Dolcett's work here" concept. They need to let the imagination run wild. Then we'll see a story worth reading!
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
(www.michaelalexanderstories.com) (7/10)
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- Replied by:
vikikur
(Edit) (Oct 8, 2012)
- http://files.uloziste.com/8e2a1c28646eef56/The%20Conversion%20of%20Kimberly.htm
- Replied by:
Michael247
(Edit) (Oct 8, 2012)
- Thank you Victor for the URL to another site where this story is posted... in green... on black, still with no paragraph breaks. That's very helpful, especially since I've already read the piece and am finished. - MA
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| Reviewer:
lens
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 3, 2012 |
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Green Eyes and BBQ Chef: Greatly enjoyed this well written and engaging story. The opening lines hooked me and the story met the high expectations set by the opening. Look forward to reading more of your work. Thanks and best wishes. lens (10/10)
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