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Review This Story || Author: Onewhoadores

The Fifth

Chapter 9 Bi Ways

This is the 9th part of a 12 part tale of a Lady and her stable of slaves



9.  Bi Ways



After getting back to his room, Jared was too keyed up to immediately fall asleep.  Despite Thomas unexpected and inexplicably kind words he knew he had been dismally derelict in his actions the previous evening and that the others, as Michael had already declared, would believe him so as well.  More crushing still had been Deannas damning reaction.  This had been the first time since his return that she had specifically given him a task, and not just any task, but one to safeguard the well being of another of her slaves.  And he had failed miserably, just as he had failed her in so many ways before.  He had been trying so hard since he had chosen to remain to prove himself to her, that he could be what she wanted and needed him to be.  And when he had finally been given the simplest of opportunities he had totally dropped the ball.  He began to seriously consider whether the time had finally come for him to give them all, most especially Deanna, what they all had made clear they wanted most from him:  To leave.  Before anyone else was hurt.  Thoroughly depressed, but even more thoroughly weary, he finally slipped into a fitful sleep.


He woke up with a start and saw on his clock that it was just before 5 PM.  He had been given the morning and the afternoon off, but no one had said anything about his evening duties.  Almost by rote he crawled off his mattress and gathered himself together, wondering if this was all moot anyway as it all would likely be coming to an end very soon.  He walked down the hall slowly, preparing himself to meet the others and their further condemnations.


Entering the kitchen he found only Abel there, working furiously over the stove.  Abel looked up, saw Jared, and smiled.


“Hey Jared.  Did you get enough sleep?”



Startled once again by the use of his name, and even more so by the question that had followed, Jared hesitated.  “... Ah ... Yes Sir.” he finally answered.


Abel lowered his voice as if conspiratorially.  “You know Jared, when were working alone together you can call me Abel.”  His smile then broadened even more.  “And I have it on the very best authority that Belle feels the same way too.  What do you say?”


Now completely disconcerted Jared didnt know what to say.  He stammered a moment before responding, “Um ... okay ... um ... Abel.”


“Good.”  Abels smile now turned to a small frown.  “Im working hard on making something very special for the Lady for her dinner tonight.  She didnt eat breakfast or lunch and hasnt come downstairs at all since this morning.  Edward had to convince her to eat dinner and she finally agreed, but she wants it served up in her room.”  He paused to put a pot of something onto another burner.  “Do you think you can start cutting up the vegetables for our dinner later.  Theyre over there on the table.”


“Of course, Sir ... Abel.”  Jared replied, still totally bewildered.  As he made his way over toward the kitchen table he also noticed for the first time that a chair and a small side table had been placed in his usual corner.  None of this was making any sense to him.  What was going on?  And why?


Once Jared had left Thomas room as ordered that morning, Thomas had made it explicitly clear to Edward, and Edward had related it faithfully to the others, that had Jared cut him down before his ordeal had ended, his spirit, and psyche, would have been far more damaged than his hind quarters had been.  He was truly grateful that Jared had allowed him to see his binding to its proper end.  That Jared had assured that it continue more safely was the role that the Lady had assigned him, and Thomas had no complaints with that.  As far as Thomas was concerned Jared had done his duty perfectly, which had allowed Thomas to perform his without failure as well.



After the Lady had been served her special dinner in her room, and Jared, as requested, had helped Abel prepare the evening meal for the rest, the others including Thomas all arrived in the kitchen.  On Edwards instructions Thomas had brought a large pillow to sit on, but he couldnt help wincing a bit as he gingerly sat down.  They all acknowledged Jared, everyone but Edward calling him by name, but even Edward seemed more congenial to him than usual.  He wasnt invited to the table with them, but Abel made sure, with no objections from anyone, that he had a plateful to eat at the same time as the rest of them.  And he was now able to sit in a chair with a small table in his corner as well.


When finished he did proceed on to his usual evening clean up chores, but now without the frequent caustic comments from the others.  Through Edward, the Lady had directed that Thomas was not to work until he was fully healed, much to Thomas displeasure, grumbling that this vacation was unnecessary.  Edward indicated to him however that his slave could readily take care of any grounds work that needed to be done.  Thomas later took Jared aside and assured him that any of the heavier work outside could certainly wait a week or two for when he got back. 


Jared was clearly taken aback by the changed attitude towards him by almost all of the others.  He still felt guilty about what he believed had been an overly delayed recognition on his part of Thomas danger.  The rest however all seemed to feel otherwise, for which he was somewhat thankful.  He wondered though how long this would all continue, and more importantly  what Deanna actually thought.  The final very nice touch to the day came when he finally retired to his room for the night and found a pillow on his mattress.


********



Deanna spent the next two days secluded in her rooms on the second floor, continually castigating herself for being so careless in her binding of Thomas.  And she felt even more ashamed that she had not contributed to his immediate care afterwards, but had instead rushed away in embarrassment and horror.  Despite Edwards admonitions that none of them had recognized the potential danger beforehand, and that by her ordered precautions and instructions Jared had been able to limit the damage, she was still finding it difficult to forgive herself.  By her own will and desire SHE was the one in charge, and so she had to have the responsibility for the care and well being of those in her thrall.  She began to fear that she might be starting to lose them.  That Jared proved to be the one to salvage the situation, and was being considered as something of a hero by the others, not only rankled but made her feel even more the villain.  When he sensed this, Edward had sought to allay these concerns and reassure her that all of them were still totally devoted to her.  But deep inside her, what she wanted, what she always needed, was to continue to be adored by them as well.  She had to do something to bring that back.


She realized with a start that since Jared had entered the scene she had not partaken in any truly intimate relations with any of them.  She had just not had the desire or inclination.  All of her attentions had been focused on convincing Jared that she wanted him gone.  While she knew that each of her slaves fully understood that any such interactions with her could only be at her whim and at the time and place of her choosing, it was still undeniably a very important and necessary part of what she had created and needed to continue with them.  Not only to rekindle that very delightful spark and need, but also, she smiled inwardly to herself, to begin to enjoy the fervor of that fire once again.  She resolved to start summoning them back to her bedroom privately, one at a time.  And it wouldnt hurt that Jared would see in another more significant way something dear that he would never again be allowed to have.


To signal this to them all in the most dramatic way that she could devise, Deanna decided that the first such interaction would be one that she had been contemplating for some time but had withheld.  Now she concluded that the time and circumstance was just right.  The next day she made a point of approaching Belle as the maid was cleaning her office.


“Good afternoon, Belle.”


“My Lady.”  Belle curtseyed.



“We havent chatted together and enjoyed each others company in quite a while, have we.” the Lady declared.


“Only as My Lady wishes.”  Belle replied quietly.


“Well I believe that I do so wish,” she continued, “but now may not be the appropriate time and place.”  She paused as if considering.  “I think that tomorrow early afternoon I would like Abel to make a very special dinner for us, and that you then get yourself all dressed up, maybe in that lovely silver and black dress we got for you, and then we can share that dinner together, you and I, in candlelight in the evening.”


Belle stood there staggered and speechless.  Deanna smiled, and went on.  “And then when were done eating I think Id like you to come up to my room with me.  What do you say?”


Belle almost dropped to the floor.  “It would be an honor, My Lady.” she gushed.


Deanna laughed.  “Oh it wont be about honor, Belle.  It will be about fun.  And lust.  For both of us.”


“Whatever My Lady desires.”


“I think its what we both desire, Belle.”  Deanna winked and smiled broadly again and then turned and left, leaving a barely able to stand Belle behind to try to complete her chores.


The news spread quickly through the manor to everyones excitement.  Even Jared was included when Edward took him aside that evening and told him to cut short his outside work the next morning and to help Abel with all the dinner preparations so that Belle could more quickly go to get herself ready for her evening.



When Jared arrived in the kitchen in mid morning the next day he found Abel intensely at work first making lunch for the Lady, and then for the rest of them, before then directing his attention fully on the far more important evening fare.  He set Jared to cleaning all the luncheon dishes , pots and pans, and then to cleaning and setting up the dining room with the lace tablecloth, fine china and cutlery, crystal glasses and flutes, and the ordered candles.  He then carefully instructed him on how to warm and put the finishing touches on the dinner just before it was to be served, as Abel himself would not be available to do so at that time.


Around 4 PM Abel, efficient as ever, declared that everything was as ready as it could be and he retired to his room so that Belle could begin her own preparations.  He surprised Jared by asking him to accompany him.


“I dont think I can do this, Jared.” Belle whimpered as she closed the door behind them.  “What if I completely mess everything up?”


Jared saw what a complete bundle of nerves Belle was, as compared to the highly structured Abel a few moments before.  He also saw how young and vulnerable she appeared, and so obviously terrified at not being able to meet her Ladys expectations.  Belle, and Abel, had always been kind to him, even in the darkest days at the beginning.  He had a sudden strong desire to help her however he could to get through this.


“Of course you can, Belle.” he insisted forcefully.  He had another sudden inspiration.  “Just remember, the Lady is the one trying to woo and seduce YOU.  Shes the one whos going to be nervous.”


Deep down inside Belle knew that this was highly unlikely, but the thought helped to calm her a bit.


“Why dont I go draw you a nice hot bath to get you started.” Jared continued.



Belle demurely assented and Jared went over to the bathroom across the hall from her room and began to fill the tub there, adding a liberal amount of the scented bath beads he found on the side.  Minutes later Belle came in wearing her terry cloth robe, which he helped her to remove, and then assisted her into the bath.  Leaving her to soak and soothe he retreated back to her room to wait.


As he sat there Jared couldnt help but ruminate about what was going to happen that night.  In all of his time at the manor thus far he had come to recognize just how 24/7 and all encompassing a dominance and submission household and environment Deanna had developed here, and how all of the individuals involved had totally embraced it.  But what he had not seen until this point had been any significant sexual interactions among them with Deanna, even though it had been hinted at often, if not explicitly described in Edwards blog.  Now that he could actually see it happening he had to admit to a certain degree of jealousy, and even more hurt.


Still, he understood, he had been the one who had walked out on her, unable then to accept her terms for their continued relationship.  After that she of course had every right to seek and meet her needs elsewhere with whomever, and with however many others that she desired.  Especially with those who enthusiastically did submit to those terms.  That he now wished more than anything in the world to be allowed to so submit to her will as well, and was being implacably denied, only made him more morose and even more envious of the others.  He wondered if such events as those tonight, and more likely with the others in the future, were her way of demonstrating to him just how little or no consequence he now was in her life.  Or whether it was just her living her new life as she so obviously desired, with no thought to him at all.  Either way it was another mountain for him to climb to try to prove himself to her, hoping to be able to scale it high enough so that he might once again be allowed the opportunity to acknowledge some place in her life by straining forward to at least kiss her foot.


Before long Belle returned to the room, her robe back on and her washed hair wrapped in a towel.  She sat down in front of the small mirrored vanity that the Lady had allowed her to have, and pulled out a portable hair dryer from the bottom drawer.



“Let me do that for you, Maam.” Jared said rising from his chair, and purposefully using the honorific.  He felt that Belle ought to be pampered and made to feel special in preparation for her evening.


Belle looked up, both surprised and delighted.  “Sure Jared, Id love that.”  She handed the dryer to him and unwrapped the towel around her hair and Jared commenced to blow her hair dry.  Once he was satisfied that it was no longer damp he picked up a comb from the vanity, combed out any tangles, and then took up a hairbrush and for the next fifteen minutes brushed her hair with long even strokes until it hung down perfectly to her shoulders.


For obvious reasons Belle did not regularly color her nails but she really wanted to do so this night.  She opened up the rose petal pink nail  polish she had been keeping for special occasions, but as she went to apply it to her fingernails she still couldnt keep her hand from shaking slightly.


“Please let me help you with that as well, Maam.”  Jared quickly offered.


“That would be wonderful Jared but I also need to do my toenails.”


Jared smiled.  “Thats always been my specialty, Maam.”


Belle sighed.  “Thank you Jared.  I was so afraid I was going to muck them all up.”


She sat back in her chair and offered her first hand to him.  Though usually unpolished Belle always kept all of her nails in otherwise perfect condition.  Within minutes Jared had expertly applied the pink polish to that hand and proceeded on to complete the second.  He then went over to put a pillow on a small stool she had in the corner, brought it back and had her lift and rest her legs upon it.  Placing cotton balls between each of her toes he then got down on his knees to begin to paint his masterpiece.



As he had done so many times before, so many years ago for Deanna, Jared applied the polish to each of Belles toes with sure even strokes, never once straying from a nail.  Belle felt as if she was in heaven.  She had never even fantasized that someone would ever do anything like this for her.  It made her feel so treasured, and perhaps even desirable.  When Jared was done she just stared longingly at her now magnificent toenails as they dried.


But time continued on and Belle knew that she had to start to get dressed.  After Jared had removed the cotton from between her toes she asked him to go to make the final preparations for the dinner that Abel had made.  After he left, she rose, took off her robe and began the process.  The first item she put on was her thong, which she had specially reinforced in the front to help contain any unwanted expansion there.  Since she was not especially well endowed above she used a push up bra to better accentuate that area, then added a slip before stepping into the gorgeous dress the Lady had bought for her.  It was a sleek but finely ruffled material that had a black background with silver highlights throughout that seemed to shimmer against the dark.  It was held up by thin bands over her outer shoulders, v-ing down to just above her breasts, leaving her neck and upper chest invitingly bare as was the top half of her back.  The dress gathered slimly at her waist and then fell softly to below her knees.  Not wanting to use panty hose or stockings she just put on some simple peds before placing her feet in the three inch high heels the Lady had also purchased for her.


She finally sat down in front of the mirror to apply her makeup for the evening.  She had always believed that she looked her best when being as natural as possible, using only the slightest amount of cosmetic.  She added a bit of eye liner and the smallest touch of eye shade above.  A hint of blush on her cheeks and finally a rose colored lipstick that served to only more fully accentuate the natural color of her lips.  She then threaded her pierced ears with a pair of dangling pearl earrings, the only earrings she owned , and finished by wrapping a silver chain with a heart shaped pendant hanging down above the V of her dress.  Just as she finished there was a knock on her door.


Rising from her chair, her preparation now complete, she opened the door to find Jared standing there, as he had promised her to return after he had finished in the kitchen.  His mouth dropped open upon seeing her.



“Maam ... youre absolutely stunning.” he sincerely exclaimed without the slightest hint of exaggeration.  Belle dipped her head with a smile of gratitude.  A few moments later Edward, who had been out doing errands for the Lady much of the day, arrived.  He beamed his approval as well.


“The Lady is waiting in the dining room.” he announced formally.  “And she has requested that I escort Miss Belle down to her.”  He put his elbow up for her to place her hand upon and they started for the hall.  Before reaching the door Edward turned toward Jared.  “Go and get yourself ready.”  Jared nodded and followed them out, hurrying then to his own room as Edward and Belle made their way to the Lady.


Deanna was sitting at the dining table in the candle lit room when Edward and Belle entered.  She immediately rose to approach them.


“Belle.” she smiled with genuine sincerity.  “You look exquisite.”


While Jareds sentiments and Edwards approval had been heartwarming and gratifying, hearing those words from her Lady actually made Belles knees buckle.  She caught herself but couldnt stop her deep blush.  “Thank you, My Lady.” she replied softly.


“Oh, for tonight Belle its not My Lady.  Its D.  Belle and D.  Now lets sit ourselves down to start the feast that Abel has prepared for us and enjoy each others company and our evening together.”


With that Deanna actually guided Belle over to one of the table settings and pulled out her chair for her to sit.  Edward then performed the same service for her.  “Have some wine sent out for us, Edward.” she then said to him when she was settled.  He bowed and immediately left to do as she bid.



A few moments later Jared, dressed in a formal half frock coat over a white ruffled shirt and a black bow tie with black trousers and shoes, entered carrying a chilled bottle of Prosecco, the Ladys favorite, and a bucket of ice.  Earlier in the day Deanna had instructed Edward that he was to have Jared formally serve and wait on them that evening, and Edward had spent the afternoon out purchasing the appropriate clothing for him to wear in that role.


After popping the cork on the sparkling Italian wine Jared poured a glass full for both of the ladies.  Belle smiled appreciatively at him and actually felt his being there helped to calm her nerves.  Deanna ignored him, but raised her glass to toast Belle, and the lovely evening she was sure they were going to share together.


Jared then began to serve the dinner.  The appetizer was a plate of baked clams oreganato.  This was followed by a sublime vichysoise and a salad of chopped endive, baby romaine, pecans, calamera olives and feta cheese, all dressed in a wine vinaigrette with just a touch of raspberry.  The main course was a wild Alaskan sockeye salmon fillet, baked in a filo pastry, and topped with a thin coating of a rosemary and dill cream sauce.  This was accompanied by Parmesan crusted asparagus.


Jared served every course in silence, removing completed plates and bowls, bringing in new ones with each new course, and making sure the crystal flutes were always kept filled with more Prosecco.  Belle and D chatted and laughed engagingly throughout.  While not a polished conversationalist, Belle was however an avid reader and had devoured and loved all of the Ladys books.  Her innate shyness and inhibitions, particularly in her Ladys presence, were somewhat diminished by the sparkling wine, and she found herself discussing the Ladys various works in depth with the actual author.  For her part Deanna was delighted with the questions and insights that Belle offered.  It was so refreshing to discuss her writings with a fan, from a fans perspective, rather than from a purely analytic literary one as she usually did with Edward, or from a commercial popularity standpoint as with Michael.  When Jared brought out the homemade wild berry torte for their dessert, over two hours had flown by, and just as they were emptying their second bottle of Prosecco.



After each had finished their torte and the tea each had ordered, Deanna looked over at Belle.  “Ive had a thoroughly lovely time dining with you tonight Belle, and please convey later my compliments to the chef as always.  But now Id like very much to continue our conversation together in a more private setting, upstairs.”


Belle dipped her head and blushed once again.  “Whatever you wish ... D”


“Yes ... indeed.”  Deanna agreed as she rose, stepped over to pull Belles chair out, offered her hand to help her up, and continued holding it as she led her to, and then up the stairs to her bedroom on the second floor.  Entering the room they also found it candle lit, just as the Lady had instructed Edward to have it.  She guided Belle over to the foot of her bed, stopping there.


“Id like yo to wait for me here for a few moments, Belle, while I go get a bit more comfortable.  And please dont turn around when I return.”


Belle nodded, almost too afraid to speak.  Deanna retreated to her bathroom, and re emerged a few minutes later.  As commanded, Belle did not turn around as she heard her Lady approach her from behind.  She felt a hand gently sweep her hair to one side, and the Ladys lips next to her ear.


“You look so delicious, Belle,” Deanna whispered huskily, “and youre all mine.”  She then nuzzled and nibbled at Belles earlobe, nipping it a bit more sharply after a minute, feeling Belles knees slightly give way again before steadying.  She then moved her lips and tongue softly down the side and to the back of Belles neck, planting little kisses along the way.  Her arms wrapped around, and her hands lightly ran up and down the front of Belles dress, before finally returning to the back to unclasp and unzipper it, then helping it fall slowly in a jumble at Belles feet.  She undid Belles bra and let it drop to the floor as well.  She let her fingers play with Belles breasts, pinching her nipples slightly every now and then.  She pressed her own body up against Belles back, who became acutely aware that the Ladys breasts were bare as well as they pressed and rubbed against her.



Deannas hands now roamed at will along the entire front of Belles body, as her mouth and lips moved down her upper back, leaving little licks as they progressed.  Her hands found and fondled the front of Belles thong, which bulged and strained forward, pulling the back strap between Belles buttocks cheeks ever tighter.  Belle moaned helplessly as the Lady chuckled sensually in response, both of them continuing to sway, embraced tightly as such together.  Finally the Lady pushed forward, guiding Belle face down onto the bed.


Deanna stood up and away from the prone Belle for a moment as she retrieved an item that she had previously placed under a towel at the end of her bed.  After putting it into place she bent forward to kiss the small of Belles back, then licked her way up with her tongue again to the back of Belles neck and to her ear, whispering as she got there, “I said that youre all mine Belle, and now Im going to make that complete.”


She lifted off her again and ran her fingers lightly down Belles flanks until they entwined with the straps of her thong.  Using them she pulled Belles bottom upward and then guided the thong down and completely off.  She then bade Belle to remain kneeling, head bent forward on to the bed, with her posterior up and scrumptiously inviting in the air.


Deanna stood behind her at the foot of the bed, her strap on dildo that she had just put in the harness she had been wearing, jutting forward in front of her.  Knowing that this would be Belles first time she had purchased  a slender one, also making sure that it was one of the double ended ones with a shorter curved portion that fitted up into her own vault.  As she applied a liberal amount of lubricant to the longer end, and then to Belles backside crack, she softly spoke.  “I know that youre a virgin at this, Belle, so that there may be some pain involved at first.  But Ill be as slow and as gentle as possible so that we both enjoy it as much as we can.”



Belle mewed in response as the tip of the appliance pressed up against, and then through her anal opening, bringing forth a low gasp from her.  Deanna advanced it slowly but relentlessly, watching Belle grip the sheets by her side, until the entire shaft was embedded.  She heard Belle breathing heavily and more rapidly, and then sigh deeply, as she sighed as well.  She began to slowly rock back and forth, in and out, each time coming a little further out, and thrusting it a little faster in.  Each stroke put more delightful pressure on her own end as well as it rubbed and pressed joyfully against the nexus of her own womanhood.  She began to also breath more heavily, and then pant as she progressively picked up the pace of her pumping, as it sent course after course of sensuous stimulation surging through her.  She humped harder and harder, bucking furiously at the end, forcing Belle fully down onto the bed.  Suddenly she threw her head back as her juices exploded and gushed around her end of the dildo, and her strangled scream was joined by one from Belle as well just as Belles own interior, violated and stimulated to its own breaking point, caused her to erupt forth in front as well.


Waves of ecstacy washed through both of them for what seemed like an eternity as the Ladys plunging continued until Deanna, completely spent, slowed down and finally pulled out, sagging down to the bed at Belles side, as Belles own copious emissions slowed to a dribble.


“Oh My Lady, Im so sorry ... I didnt mean ... I couldnt help myself ... please forgive me.”  Belle sobbed hopelessly as Deanna settled next to her.  The Lady put two fingers up to Belles lips.


“Shuusshh Belle, please ... I wanted you to enjoy it.  Im glad you enjoyed it.  It makes me very happy that you did.”


“But the mess Ive made.  Ive ruined your sheets for sure.”


Deanna laughed softly.  “Oh Belle, please.  A very small price to pay for what we both just shared.  Lets just lie here together a while to savor it, shall we.”


Belle nodded, her tears of shame becoming those of joy, and before long both of them, in the afterglow of their shared climax, drifted off into a light but satiated sleep.  Around midnight Deanna awoke and found Belle, still lying on her stomach but with her eyes open, gazing adoringly at her.


Deanna smiled.  “I think its time for you to go to your own room, Belle.  Take one of my robes to cover yourself.”



“Of course My Lady.”  Belle replied.  “But let me clean up my mess first and change your sheets for you.” she added plaintively.


“Dont worry about that, Belle.  Edward will do it.  Please send him in as you leave.”


“Yes, My Lady. “ Belle got up from the bed, went over the Ladys closet, and as instructed put on one of her robes.  She then gathered up her own clothes strewn on the floor and made ready to leave.


“Belle.”  Deanna called from the bed.


“Yes, My Lady?”


“I really did have a wonderful time with you tonight.  The whole night.  Thank you.”


“Thank YOU, My Lady.” Belle answered with the very deepest of emotions as she turned and departed.


********


Jared sat slumped on the floor in the hall by Belles room, his arms wrapped around his knees.  It had been inferred by the others that none of them ever spent the whole night with the Lady, so after he had cleaned up following the dinner, and had changed back into his usual slave garb, he had come here to wait for Belle.  He was very worried about her.  Over the course of the day and evening he had come to realize just how important this all was to her, and how fragile she was.  Much more so than Abel.  He knew that Deanna wasnt cruel.  Indeed, she was incredibly good hearted and kind.  She just needed to be dominant and in complete control.  But he felt that one wrong step upstairs, another serious miscalculation, could be devastating for Belle.  He waited, fretting.


He stood up quickly as he saw her coming down the hall.  “Belle?” he probed anxiously.



“Oh Jared”  she responded raptly upon seeing him.  “It was magical.”


He smiled in relief.  But his smile was bittersweet, and Belle, seeing that, suddenly understood.  “Jared, Im so sorry.”


His smile became more accepting.  “Its fine Belle.  I made my own bed and I have to sleep in it.  Im just happy that everything turned out so well for you tonight.  It did, didnt it?”


“Beyond my wildest dreams.”


“Im glad.  I just had to make sure.”


“Thank you.”  She reached out to touch his hand.  “I really mean it.”


After wishing her good night he turned to go.  “Jared.” she called, stopping him for a moment.  “I just know shes going to forgive you.  Shes just too wonderful not to.”


As he walked back to his room Jared was finding such a thought increasingly more difficult to believe, and hope, that it would ever be so.




  


    


                      


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