Unexpected Inheritance

Chapter 3

The next day, Richard woke up feeling better than he had for the past couple of weeks.  He’d needed the rest, he admitted to himself, and actually getting a good meal had meant he didn’t feel the hangover-like effects of rubbish food and little sleep.  He glanced at the clock and was surprised to see it was already 8am.  You must have forgotten to set the alarm last night.  Normally, he guessed he’d be panicking since he’d been aiming to get in at 7am recently, but he figured it wouldn’t be so bad if he went in a little late for once, after all he was meant to work from 9am, and Janeece might be impressed if he got in later than her for once.  Leisurely getting dressed, he stepped outside his room to be greeted by the same appetizing scents from yesterday.  Gods, is he going to cook breakfast every morning?  You are going to put on so much weight…

Walking into the kitchen, he smiled a greeting at Korian before accepting the chair held out for him.  The food was ready just as he’d come in again, and he took his time over it today, appreciating it more.  How does he do that?  Have it ready at the right time…there must have been a 2 hour difference in the time I got up today and yesterday…

“Sleep well?”  Richard asked, hoping to start a conversation.

“Yes, Master” Korian looked slightly surprised, but Richard chose to ignore that.

Noticing Korian was still standing off to the side, he frowned slightly and nodded to the opposite chair, “Come join me.”

To his surprise – and relief – Korian acquiesced without argument, or even much hesitation, though remained perching on the very edge as he had the night before.  Richard turned his attention back to the food in the hope it would make Korian feel more comfortable.  Richard finished the meal in a silence that was surprisingly comfortable, and got up to head to work.

“Well, have a good day…I guess I’ll be back around 8pm or something…it’s kind of hard to tell at the moment.  We have a major project going on and the hours we’re all working have really gotten messed up.”

Korian stood up with him and nodded.  “Yes, Master.”

It was better when we made actual conversation.  But it was still early and he wasn’t a great conversationalist in the mornings himself.

“Oh, yeah, I got some cash out yesterday.  I’ve left it on the side over there, in case you need money for anything…food, stuff like that I guess.”

Korian nodded, “Yes, Master.”

I really hope that stock phrase doesn’t start to annoy me…But it didn’t, and he wasn’t sure if that worried him more.

Shaking his head slightly, he added, “Well, I’m already a bit late for work so I ought to be going.  I’ll see you tonight.”

“Have a good day, Master.”

Smiling in reply, Richard headed for the door, in a surprisingly good mood considering the situation.

*   *   *

“There you are!  I was considering sending out a search party.”  Janeece looked up from her desk as he walked in.

“Hmmpff, what happened to wanting me to work less?” Richard set his briefcase down and started up his computer, taking out the various files he’d probably need.

“Honey, I’ve been suggesting that for a while now, you never seemed to pay attention…and how would you feel if the person who’s never arrived later than you suddenly isn’t there?  As far as I’m concerned, anything could have happened…”

Richard snorted, “Glad to know you care so much, but I’m not even technically late, you know.  Maybe you should have a bit more confidence in your own advice…I just slept late today.”

“Well, you’ve never given me any reason to believe my advice had the slightest effect before.  But you should take it more often; it obviously agrees with you – you look better than you have…oh, since I can remember, I should think…”

“Pff, you have a very short term memory then.  So what have you been up to without me?  Anything I’m meant to be helping with?”

She shot him an amused glance before replying.  “You know, hun, I can cope without you for five minutes.  Besides, you don’t even need to be that involved in this side of things – not if I’m doing my job right, anyway.  I need to work out the details of some of this stuff, and then I’ll write up a couple of summaries and we can go over them together later.  Guess you have a little free time to look at some of the stuff you’ve sidelined for a while.”

Richard mock-groaned.  “I was really hoping to avoid that stuff for a bit longer.  I haven’t looked at many of my normal projects for a while, it’ll take a bit to get my head back around it all, and nothing ever benefits from neglect so I can only imagine the problems…”

“Well, if you want something to look forward to, I was thinking we should get a decent lunch somewhere today…any ideas?”

“Ugh, Janeece, it’s a nice idea and everything but I don’t think I’m going to be up to it today…”

Scowling at him over the top of the papers she was reading, she repeated her usual mantra, “You need to eat properly, Richard—”

Not waiting for her to go on, he interrupted without thinking, “Yes, I know, I’ve been told – many times.  But another three main meals in one day are going to kill me…”

She raised her eyebrow, “Three main meals?”

“Oh, uh, I already had a cooked breakfast today, and I’ll probably have another large meal for dinner.  I’m going to go easy on lunch.”

She looked at him, “What’s going on?  Don’t tell me that on top of actually sleeping, you’re cooking too?”

Damn, shouldn’t have mentioned anything.  It was just kind of easy to let things slip out around Janeece.  Now what do I say?  But he realised he wasn’t nearly as reluctant to mention Korian as he had been yesterday, and it wasn’t that hard to think of the obvious explanation.

Shrugging, he replied casually, “A friend of my Uncle’s has come to stay with me for a little while, and he’s offered to help out with cooking and cleaning and stuff while he’s here.”

Janeece blinked, clearly surprised.  “Oh, you didn’t mention that…”

“Well, it only happened yesterday, and I was rather surprised myself.”  Understatement of the year, “But he’s a nice enough guy and it’s not bad having the company.”

“Or the food, I’d imagine.”  She replied dryly.

He shot a smile in reply, “That too.”

And that was the end of it.  Thank the gods for Janeece’s remarkable intuition of when not to ask questions.  Maybe Korian wouldn’t be so hard to explain after all…just so long as no one actually met him, he guessed…but he wouldn’t think about that now.

“You go ahead and have your lunch, though, don’t let me stop you.  If you want ideas for where to go, you could always try that new Italian just down the road; I’ve been wanting to know what it was like since it opened…”

She pouted slightly, “I’m not having a meal in a place like that by myself; not even to help you explore all the nearby restaurants without actually taking the effort to go there yourself.”

He shrugged casually, “Why don’t you ask Ian to go with you?”

“Ian?”  She sounded just a little too innocent there.

“You know, Ian from Communications…office just down the hall from here…I’m sure he’d be more than willing to join you.”

“I am not asking him to go out to a restaurant with me!  In fact, I can’t invite anyone to go there for lunch with me.  It would be…inappropriate.”

Affecting a confused look, Richard pointed out, “You asked me.”

Glaring at him, she said pointedly, “You don’t count.”

“Thanks” Richard replied dryly.  “But, you know, you should go anyway.  A good friend keeps advising me that you need to eat several good meals a day…”

Ducking the pen she flicked at him, Richard decided maybe those projects he’d sidelined recently wouldn’t be so bad, and buried his head in searching for the relevant folders.

*   *   *

Heading home again, Richard smiled as he reflected back on the day.  It had been the most relaxed he’d been at work for a while now.  The meeting where they’d pitch their ideas for the potential client’s approval was next Monday and he felt more prepared than he had for a while, since there was relatively little left to do and they’d narrowed it down to a few options.  Most of the work left to do was on Janeece’s plate as well, which meant he wouldn’t be scrabbling to finish everything off at the last minute, which was the original reason why he’d wanted to work so hard for the last few weeks.  It was always better to be over prepared and ready ahead of time than the other way around.  He’d also had time to spend with Naomi today – and they’d both been impressed by meeting up two days in a row.  They hadn’t gone anywhere nearly as expensive or filling, either, opting for a café near the University campus since she’d only had a little time before lectures.  And she hadn’t accused him of being distant today, which he considered a big improvement.

About to turn into the road that was a neat short cut to the street his apartment was on, he hesitated.  If he went the other way, he could catch the bus and probably find the hall Korian had talked about yesterday.  He didn’t know if that would really help; he suspected he’d need to ring someone up, but it couldn’t hurt to go and see if he could get anywhere.  He sighed as he wondered how he could satisfy Korian’s request.  He didn’t really believe that even if it was available for hire – and he’d never really heard of individuals hiring something like that – it would be cheap enough to hire it to make that a feasible option, but it had clearly been important to Korian.  Well, you’re not going to know unless you try and find out.

Getting the bus was relatively simple, and he managed to guess which stop to get off at, but finding the hall wasn’t quite as easy.  He had the address, of course, but it was mostly main roads around where he got off, and it was always hard to find signs naming them.  Plus, he may have had the address, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to get to the road mentioned in the address from where he was.  Eventually he found it, noting a nearby bus stop on the way, which made him simultaneously annoyed he’d gotten off at the wrong stop and relieved he wouldn’t have to walk as far back.

Approaching it, he noticed that the main part of the building was a gym, then saw the hall that Korian had mentioned and guessed it was used for classes or clubs’ activities.  At least being a gym it should have a receptionist or some such, so that he could enquire about the hall.  Not entirely sure what he was planning on asking, he walked into the entranceway of the building and smiled at the woman sitting behind the main desk.

“Hi there,” she smiled back at him, “can I help you?”

“Yes, I noticed that you had a small hall as well as the gym here.  Ahh, what is that used for?”

She looked slightly puzzled by the question, but replied, “There are a number of clubs and activities that affiliate with the gym, and they use it, mostly at a reduced rate.”

As he’d thought.  He felt awkward about asking about hiring, as he’d never heard of individuals doing things like that; and especially considering he was pretty sure he didn’t have the money to back up the question, but he figured he owed it to Korian to try.

“I don’t suppose it’s possible to hire it – or part of it – for an individual’s use?”

Looking confused, she blinked, evidently not having been asked that question before.  “Well, I don’t know…I could possibly contact the manager or someone who may have the authority to let you know, but I wouldn’t imagine so.  The gym generally has a policy of only hiring it out to those clubs that they’re affiliated with.”  She shrugged apologetically.

That probably makes sense, from a business point of view.  Well, at least you tried. “No, don’t worry about it.  I was just curious.”  He was about to turn to leave when he had another thought.  Perhaps it wasn’t quite what Korian wanted, but maybe it would be an acceptable alternative… “Are there any clubs specialising in martial arts that use the hall, that would accept members?”

She turned to look at the computer in front of her.  “Yes, there are a couple. Was there a specific type of martial art you were interested in?”

He had no idea.  “Ahh, if you could just tell me what’s available, then I can think about it and decide later.”  Perhaps Korian would have a preference.

“There’s Karate, Judo, Taekwondo and Jujutsu, though not all of them are for all levels.  Would you like me to give you the contact details of the person that runs each club?”

“Yes, thank you, that would be really helpful.”

Relieved he didn’t have to stumble around, sounding like an idiot as he didn’t know what exactly he was looking for, Richard took the contact details she printed out for him and with a smile, retreated out the door.

Making his way back towards the bus stop he’d seen, he tried not to think too hard about the whole idea.  He didn’t want to see Korian hurt or discouraged from trying to pursue this, and the whole thing was turning out more awkward than he’d wanted, but he wanted to encourage any independent requests Korian might make.  He sighed, at least I enquired; I’ll give Korian the information and let him do what he wants.

*   *   *

Richard approached his home feeling a lot happier than the day before.  There was still the worry of what to do about Korian, but he hadn’t realised how much the pressure of work had been getting him down and how tired he’d been.  He felt like he’d at least got through to Korian a little yesterday, and that there was hope he’d grow to enjoy things independently and eventually want the freedom he was being offered.  Half wondering what Korian had been up to all day – since he’d effectively taken care of cleaning the apartment yesterday, and there wasn’t much else to do – Richard opened the door and stepped into his apartment.

Korian was there almost immediately, appearing from seemingly nowhere to help him with his jacket.  Discomfort with the arrangement flickered through him again, but he shook it off, not wanting it to ruin his good mood and optimistic that the whole thing would get better.

He attempted a smile, “Thank you Korian.”  Feeling the need to make some sort of conversation – just silently accepting service and disappearing seemed wrong, even if he was really looking forward to that evening off in front of the TV – he continued. “Have you had a good day?”

Korian hesitated, seeming puzzled by the question until he seemed to realise – or remember – it was just a casual greeting. He glanced down before looking up and replying. “Yes Master, thank you.”

“Good, well…since there is at last an end in sight for my project at work, I’m just planning to relax this evening…” He felt awkward, he shouldn’t need to justify that he just wanted to collapse in front of the TV, but at the same time he always felt guilty about doing nothing all evening when others were around.  It’s my house, damn it!  Annoyed at himself, he settled for just repeating the phrase he suspected didn’t really mean anything to either of them, though it made him feel better; “…feel free to do what you like.”

Korian bowed his head, “Yes Master.”

Retreating to his sitting room before any more awkwardness could be exchanged, Richard loosened his tie and lay down on the sofa, turning to face the TV and turn it on with the remote.  He flicked through the channels, mostly unimpressed, but not really needing anything more than something mindless to relax to.  Settling on some new comedy program, he settled back and sighed slightly.  He hadn’t meant to sound annoyed at Korian, it wasn’t his fault…not exactly, anyway…he just wasn’t used to living with someone and wasn’t entirely sure he liked it.  He didn’t really feel comfortable just being himself and doing what he liked while he had a guest – and since that was the only way he could accept viewing Korian, he couldn’t help but feel slightly imposed on.  He hated feeling uncomfortable in his own home and he wasn’t quite sure how to get around it, or make himself feel more at ease around Korian.  He couldn’t help but wonder how long Korian would end up staying and hoping it wouldn’t end up being too long.  If it was just a casual, friendly relationship with someone…well, normal, he wouldn’t really mind, would probably even enjoy it.  But this was just difficult and it rubbing him the wrong way.  And he hated that he seemed to take it out on Korian; it wasn’t his fault and the poor boy seemed nervous and worried enough as it was, without Richard acting…displeased…the word coming to him from a place he didn’t want to contemplate.  I just want to relax and forget all this “Master” stuff!

“Master?”

Richard turned with surprise – and a small amount of exasperation – to see Korian kneeling to the side of the sofa, elegantly profiled with his hands on his knees, palms up, his legs apart and his head bowed slightly.  When he’d slipped into the room and come to kneel beside him, Richard had no idea.

At the indication he had Richard’s attention, Korian continued, “Would you like something to drink, Master?”

Richard didn’t often drink alcohol but considering his current situation and his desire to just forget what was going on and relax tonight, it suddenly seemed like quite a good idea.

“Ah, yes, some beer would be great, thank you.”

Korian rose silently and disappeared, and Richard tried to still the swirling emotions that kept running through him due to this ridiculous situation. I mean really, having a ‘slave’ turn up in his life!

Korian returned, setting the glass gently on the table before him and resumed his position kneeling silently by the side of the sofa.  Richard reached for the glass, taking a sip and settling back.  He eyed Korian uncertainly, but the man stayed with his eyes lowered and seemed to have no intention of moving.  The irritation flared again – he was just supposed to continue with his evening as if there wasn’t a man kneeling beside him and, he supposed, waiting for any order or indication he wanted anything?  Richard closed his eyes for a minute and forced the biting comments of the voice in the back of his mind away, trying to find calm again.  It was no good just getting annoyed or irritated at all of this, for the situation to be sustainable he would have to find a way to make it work.  He could ask Korian to leave, he guessed, tell him that he just wanted an evening by himself and he was sure Korian would make himself scarce. But then he’d still have the sense of guilt and unease at essentially sending the guy away.  The problem was that although he could accept the idea of letting Korian stay here and him cooking and cleaning in exchange for the place to stay, that didn’t really cover all the rest of the behaviour, the serving and obedience.  Skirting around the whole ‘slave’ thing, the most he could liken it to was having a sort of servant, and he’d never wanted that, found the whole idea uncomfortable, not to mention not needing anyone to do little things like taking his coat or fetching him drinks.  He’d always been more than happy with his own company, taking care of himself.  He continued sipping at the beer, but the TV went largely unnoticed as he stared into the distance and tried to think things through.  Korian felt he was a slave, behaved as if he was a slave.  In some ways, it felt better to acknowledge it directly than pretend it wasn’t there and wasn’t happening.  It was wrong, and not something he could ever agree with, but it wasn’t his fault Korian acted how he did, so he didn’t need to feel guilty just because Korian was here and behaved in certain ways.  No, except a part of you likes it.  The voice came back, stronger and no doubt aided by alcohol, pushing the images he refused to accept back into his mind; of slavery and submission and all his darkest thoughts, only this time interspersed with the real images of Korian from the last few days.  Instead of forcing his mind away from it all this time, he let it happen and admitted to himself that that was the reason he really was uncomfortable, really did feel guilty whenever Korian acted…well, whenever Korian did anything really.  He didn’t like the effect it had on him, how it brought up all the things he’d spent so long burying and ignoring.  He was scared of how it might make him feel, of the things that lay behind the feelings of discomfort and guilt, scared of what he might want to do and how he might want to treat the man kneeling beside him.  Would I do that?  Could I do those things to someone, to a man who didn’t have a choice?  He shook his head – he knew what was right and wrong, he still clearly knew the reasons he had suppressed any imaginings about such things.  He had a happy, stable life with a good job, a lovely girlfriend – he was happy, he didn’t need those things and they were not places he wanted to go, things he wanted to do with his life.

Richard turned his head and regarded Korian, actually looked at him properly and took in the kneeling subservience, the way he held himself completely still and the lack of any expression revealed by his face or body.  He actually thought about it, looked at Korian and saw the slave he claimed to be.  He knew that he still wanted to change it, wanted to have him free and doing what he wanted with his life, but he also knew that at the moment that wasn’t the case, wasn’t what Korian thought or felt or saw.  He thought about the last few days and felt guilty yet again, but this time not because of the slavery but because of the way he’d behaved; he’d been quite harsh, abrasive and abrupt and annoyed and irritated with the whole thing.  Had he really done the man any favours by refusing to accept what he claimed to be, by denying the whole thing and refusing to listen or try to understand?  Leaving Korian to just attempt to go about it all without any guidance, only able to hope he was doing everything ‘right’ and that he wouldn’t displease the man he’d now given control of his life to.  He thought how it must be for Korian; coming and submitting to a near-stranger, offering himself completely and not knowing how he would be received, knowing anything could happen to him.  Having that stranger treat that offering as an inconvenience, or annoyance, or something to avoid and ignore – not knowing what he’d done wrong or why the person that now controlled his life was so unhappy with him.  Richard sighed, knowing what he wanted and what he aimed to do was right, but also knowing his attitude about it had been appalling and completely selfish – only really considering the effect any of this was having on him and his life, and not thinking about what Korian might be going through.

“What do you want, Korian?”  He asked without even really thinking, wanting to give or offer something back to this man he couldn’t understand, that had placed himself at Richard’s mercy without hesitation.

“I want to please you, Master.”

But instead of the usual quiet response, eyes down and head bowed, Korian looked up as he said it, putting determination into the reply and met Richard’s eyes almost forcefully.  The silver had turned to steel, and as Richard met his eyes the fiery passion he saw within them silenced him for a moment, drawing out the moment until Richard felt unable to hold that gaze any longer; then Korian deliberately lowered his eyes and bowed his head again.  Richard felt partially stunned, unable to reconcile the power and strength he had seen in those eyes with his image of Korian.  He suddenly felt that maybe he had underestimated the man kneeling quietly before him, the strength that he must have to live as he had been forced to.  It made him reassess the picture he had of a weak and vulnerable victim, and Richard was suddenly uncertain as to how he should relate to him.  It was forcefully clear, though, that Korian meant what he said and he wanted Richard to know that; he felt his purpose was to please Richard, in whatever way he could, and he was determined to do so, however hard Richard made it for him.  It brought back the words he’d said yesterday, the ones that had been circling in the back of Richard’s mind and that he’d steadfastly refused to let enter his conscious mind. I will submit to whatever you wish me to, suffer anything you wish to inflict, serve you with everything that I am until the last breath has left me. The sentiment behind it left him with both a feeling of unease and discomfort, as well as darkly fascinating him in a way he still didn’t want to consider.  But it was a strong, fervent statement that showed some of Korian’s desperation to do this, to be this for him.  It might be wrong, and not something Richard could endorse in any way, but he figured he could at least acknowledge Korian and stop ignoring the fact that he clearly felt he was Richard’s slave.  It didn’t help that the very flicker of that word across his mind sent all sorts of shudders through him, but he could at least try to respect Korian, acknowledge his effort, even if he couldn’t agree with what he believed and claimed he wanted.

His gaze never having left Korian’s kneeling form, he said softly, “Come around in front of me.”

Korian moved around the sofa to settle in front of him, staying in the position he’d assumed since he entered the room, the TV playing unnoticed behind him.  Richard looked carefully at Korian, taking in the image in front of him and trying to force his mind into accepting and acknowledging it.  If he looked long enough, maybe the urge to dart his eyes away and ignore the situation that was blatantly staring him in the face would fade.  Despite what he’d just seen in his eyes, Korian looked almost boy-like kneeling quietly in front of him, making him wonder what was behind the youthful face and small body, the still, meek appearance he maintained in front of him.  The long silver hair fanning out down his back gave him a slightly foreign look and enhanced Richard’s impression of him as pretty.  He looked so young and innocent, so easy to see him being taken advantage of, being lost in the world without Uncle Andre there in front of him. But Richard had seen some of his spirit today, and tried to keep that in mind and look past the appearance Korian gave.  He noticed the way he held himself completely still, how he had done all evening and seemed prepared to stay for as long as Richard wished, the calm he seemed to have, despite not knowing what may happen to him, despite his future depending on the man sitting in front of him.  Richard took a deep breath, not knowing how anyone could live that way, but then he guessed Korian hadn’t had much of a choice, had lived in such a way that even when given a choice he couldn’t recognise it.

Richard stood up, gently telling Korian to do the same. 

Korian came to his feet in one movement, shifting to stand more rigidly than he had been kneeling, with his legs slightly apart and raising his arms to lock his hands together behind his neck, his elbows pointing outwards.  It was a movement that opened his chest out, the nipple rings glimmering slightly in the soft light, and exposed his body to Richard completely.  Richard didn’t know why he was spending so much time just looking at Korian, he was just trying to take in what was in front of him, to absorb it and acknowledge to himself what it was.  It was the first time he had really looked, really seen Korian; he’d spent so much of the last couple of days trying to avoid it, not wanting to see the way Korian behaved and presented himself.  The first time he’d looked and repeated to himself that this man considered himself Richard’s property, the first time he’d tried to see through those eyes.  He still didn’t really consider it true; it wasn’t what he wanted or would accept, but it was important to him to try and see Korian’s view.  The thought sent strange feelings through him and raised butterflies in his stomach, but he looked at Korian and tried to remove the pity and the unease, tried to just see the man in front of him as belonging to him, however alien the idea felt.  He couldn’t do it, couldn’t quite assimilate it all into that, it didn’t feel right, but he did take in Korian’s vulnerability to him, the power he’d been given suddenly and unexpectedly, the man who waited silently, completely open to and accepting of whatever he might choose to do.

Richard reached out slowly, hesitating a little before touching Korian, letting the backs of his knuckles rest slightly against his chest.  The muscle underneath twitched at the contact, but Korian didn’t move or say anything.  It was a strange feeling, doing that – touching another man as he held himself still and let it happen – but Richard felt compelled to act on the instinctive knowledge that he was free to look and touch as he liked.  He wondered idly what he could do without Korian moving or reacting and guessed that it would be quite a lot, with Korian striving to be still and open to it.  The idea sent a slight shiver through him and he withdrew his hand, letting out the breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding.  However he felt about it, it seemed undeniable how Korian felt and how far he was willing to go to show it.  Richard sighed softly; he still knew the whole thing was wrong and he would do everything he could to show Korian that he could live free, to encourage him to explore that.  But living as he had – completely ignoring the issue because of his discomfort – wasn’t fair to either of them and just put him in a bad mood that made things worse.  Looking back at how things had gone the last couple of days, he determined to make an effort to be understanding of who and what Korian felt he was, to make him more comfortable as well.  It may be inconvenient having him here – though the cooking and cleaning did make up for that quite a bit – but he wouldn’t deny his Uncle’s last wish, and besides he was beginning to feel for Korian, what he had evidently endured and how he threw everything he was into what he did.  It felt like the least he could do to try and make it all as easy as possible, to try and compromise and meet Korian half way with the whole ‘Master/slave’ view for the moment, to do what he could to reassure him.  He wasn’t that sort of person, probably couldn’t do or act half the ways Korian might expect – which may be a good thing anyway – but he could stop jumping sideways at the mention of it.

“Look at me.” Richard said, keeping his voice soft, as if afraid Korian might spook if he didn’t modulate his tone.  Which was silly, he knew, but he found the idea that he was telling Korian what to do hard enough and couldn’t possibly bring himself to speak harshly or abruptly as well.  Besides, Korian had reacted…disturbingly…to various comments or actions, and Richard really didn’t know the memories he had or what might set him off.

Korian raised his eyes and met Richard’s gaze, but the fire and determination he’d seen earlier had gone, leaving his eyes as calm and unreadable as before.

Taking a breath, Richard continued, “I can’t accept this all; I don’t agree with slavery and I don’t want to have that kind of power.  I want you to be free and happy with your own life, of your own choosing, and I hope that I can show you how you can have and thrive with that.  But I do accept that you view things this way, that you think this is how it should be, and…I guess I want you to know that it does mean something to me, what you are doing and offering.  I can’t take it as you want me to, but I do recognise the strength it takes to be…what you are, to act as you do.  And it means something to me that you’re doing that for me.  So I will try to be understanding and willing to see your view alongside what I would naturally want.  I will try and let you be what you want to be, until I manage to show you how much better your life can be.”

Korian’s expression didn’t change throughout his halting explanation and attempt to reach out, but as he was finishing, his gaze became more intense for a moment before lowering and nodding his head for a moment.

“Yes Master, thank you” was the only reply, let out almost inaudibly on a breath, but Richard sensed the words had sunk in, that Korian had heard and understood and it had meant something to him.  He hoped so, hoped that things would now be easier for both of them, that perhaps if Korian was able to act in more familiar ways to him it would give him a chance to relax and open up a little more.

Letting out a breath in an effort to relieve the tension that had built up, Richard sat back down on the sofa, leaning back against it.  He realised as he sank down into it that it was rather strange to be looking up at Korian, seeing him still standing open and exposed, but at the same time close enough to be almost towering over him.  It seemed Korian felt the same thing; he hesitated a moment and then sunk back to his knees, keeping his arms as they had been and remaining rigidly available in the way he had been before.  The position didn’t look very comfortable and Richard wondered how long he could stay like that, but then none of the positions Korian had assumed seemed to be for comfort and he guessed he’d had quite a lot of practice at staying in them for long periods of time. Korian’s eyes flicked up briefly and Richard guessed he was trying to make sure he wasn’t outraged at the unauthorised change of position, but if anything Richard was glad Korian seemed to be able to react to how he felt without being given orders, considering that he wasn’t sure how many orders he was comfortable giving.  He smiled a little, hoping it would help reassure him and tried to relax back into the sofa.

“So,” he started, feeling a change in subject was necessary to reduce a little of the intense atmosphere that had sprung up, “am I getting dinner tonight?”

He smiled as he said it, feeling better and able to play with the whole thing a little now that he was acknowledging it directly.

Korian’s body tensed a little and his eyes flicked up again, seeming both surprised and slightly chagrined by the question, clearly struggling through the possible implications that his Master was displeased that dinner wasn’t ready – or even started. 

Taking in Richard’s attitude his body relaxed a little but he replied quickly, “Yes Master, of course.”  Then he seemed uncertain; probably not knowing whether that was an indirect order to get started with it or not.

He looked at Richard as he hesitated, and Richard nodded, guessing what he was looking for.  At that, Korian bowed from the waist in the position he was in, then quickly got to his feet and left quietly.

Richard shifted his feet onto the sofa and lay there trying to calm down a little bit after the exchange he’d just had.  Noticing the TV was still playing in the background, he switched it off, preferring to take a little time to think.  He fiddled with the half-empty glass of beer, looking at it slightly distastefully.  He had never really liked the taste, but had tried to accustom himself to it as it was the standard go-to for guys for after work drinks.  He put it down on the coffee table before him, before leaning back and trying to sort through everything that had just happened.  Interestingly, one thing he had noticed was that despite being evidently very skilled at hiding his emotions and reactions, the one time Korian really did become animated and a lot easier to read was when he evidently felt he might have displeased his Master, or when he didn’t know what to do or what was wanted.  It seemed those things affected him much more deeply.  Richard imagined he could probably give him some horrendous task and he would just go about it calmly and unaffected, considering the self-control he obviously had, but it was when he wasn’t told specifically what to do – when things were just hinted at or implied – that he struggled, wanting to be certain and both needing and reluctant to look for help or guidance.  It was a good thing he didn’t seem able to hide those feelings though, as otherwise Richard didn’t know how he’d ever know what Korian was thinking or feeling.

*   *   *

Korian hurriedly moved around the kitchen, finding food and utensils before shaking himself a little and calming the slight panic he felt at the edges of his mind, settling into the quick, easy movements he usually displayed.  Choices for tonight’s meal had flickered through his mind as he had moved back to the kitchen, thinking of and discarding a dozen or so before settling on a deceptively simple pasta dish that with a bit of effort would be ready relatively quickly.  He didn’t know whether his Master’s question had been a pointed comment or not, but the last thing he wanted to do was risk keeping him waiting.  Especially now.  He let out a small breath as he thought back to the evening so far, trying to let it play out in the back of his mind as his body moved automatically to prepare what he needed.  It was hard not to fret about the things he’d done that went against his deep-rooted training.  Hard not to think how anyone back home would have reacted to him talking to and looking at his Master like that – daring to meet his eyes without permission was one thing, but the expression he’d shown!  He shivered slightly, but tried to push it aside.  He hadn’t been immediately punished or dismissed or thrown out.  Of course, he knew he wasn’t worthy of punishment in his Master’s eyes, but the lack of any other negative reaction was somewhat reassuring, even if his presumption sent shudders of anxiety through him.  He knew what was right and wrong, he knew the rules he had to live by and how he needed to behave.  But he also knew that it was different here, in some ways, and his former master had emphasised it, telling him to trust his instincts and do what it seemed his Master needed, what would help, instead of what was natural and right.  It seemed to have helped, too.  Why, he had no idea, but afterwards his Master had considered him carefully.  Korian had thought he was probably deliberating how to deal with his insubordination, but it had turned out to be much more an inspection of his property – looking at him thoroughly as he took him through several positions.  Thinking about the way his Master had looked at him, and even briefly touched, made his body buzz slightly as his nerves danced, and he was sure he could feel the echo of his Master’s touch on his chest.  He’d sensed something that he wasn’t even sure had existed with his former master – almost as if his Master was looking at him and seeing property he owned, something that was worthy enough to be regarded as such, looking at him and only seeing that instead of trying to ignore or disguise it.  His eyes closed briefly and he dismissed the thought; it probably wasn’t true, was just some misguided hope – after all, his Master had pretty much refuted that in what he’d said immediately after.  That he didn’t want him as his slave.  But still, he seemed to indicate he might be open to it, that he was willing to accept that Korian believed and wanted this, that he understood what was being offered, it just wasn’t something he wanted to take.  Of course, he still seemed to believe that there could be something better than being accepted and allowed to serve, that he could give Korian something else instead of taking him on as his slave.  But if nothing else, Korian knew he had shown how clear it was to him that there could be nothing better than pleasing his Master, and it seemed he might have been able to start convincing him that he was properly devoted to that task, that he knew that it was his purpose and life.  It wasn’t good enough for him yet, but even if it was just desperate hope, Korian felt there was a chance, that the opportunity was there for him to behave as he should, to show that he could be a good slave, and then maybe his Master would want him.  He just had to make it so that it was worth it to his Master to take him, to accept him as his slave.  In some ways it was harder knowing that; that he had an opportunity and if he was perfect then he might just be considered worthy of serving his Master.  But at the same time, any little mistake could destroy it all, could take away this last chance.  He saw his hand shaking slightly with the nerves and glared at it, schooling it – and the rest of his body – back into calm stillness by force of will.  Will I ever be good enough?  It was just so hard, especially here like this.  He had the ingrained training; had continued the physical parts as much as he could after his former master had bought him, and continually repeated the mantras from childhood in his mind.  But it was different here, the training wasn’t enough to tell him what his Master would want and need, what was expected.  Even the time with his former master didn’t really prepare him and he wanted so desperately to get it right, was so afraid of losing this chance.  There wasn’t anything he could really do, just act based on both training and instinct and hope that it was pleasing to his Master, just watch and learn and try to assimilate his preferences as quickly as possible.  He had to be good enough, though, he just had to.  He couldn’t even let himself picture what might happen if he wasn’t.

But all these thoughts weren’t right, they weren’t where his mind should be.  He shook his head slightly as he realised how much he had been concentrated and focused on what he wanted, on how he was going to achieve his own goal and become accepted by his Master, instead of having his mind run through everything that may please his Master and how he could best serve.  They may lead to similar thoughts, but the way he’d thought about it was wrong.  It wasn’t about him.  All that mattered was his Master’s pleasure.  Why can I never get it right?  Why does my mind stray from focusing where it belongs so much? He couldn’t get the thoughts of failure from his head – all the ways he had failed in the past, all the things he was told he would never be good enough for.  From when he was growing and being trained at home, to being taken by his former master but never good enough for him to really accept him as a slave, to the point he wouldn’t even allow him to die with him, and now here where he wasn’t good enough for yet another Master.  And with each remembered failure it seemed more likely he would never be able to please the way he should.

Korian brought himself out of such thoughts sharply; he couldn’t dwell on such things, he didn’t have the time and thinking about those things just took his mind away from focusing on pleasing his Master.  He could hardly believe he’d allowed himself such a self-indulgent moment of despair, but he was fortunate that he could work automatically enough to allow his mind to detach almost completely from what he was doing without slowing.  Bringing his current task back into focus, he saw it was almost done and concentrated entirely on the physical work for once, allowing it to centre him and drive his distractions away.  Calm again, he repeated inwardly the vows he’d made of how he would behave and serve, determined to put every effort into being the best, into being worthy of being his Master’s property.

*  *  *

       Richard saw Korian enter the room again out of the corner of his eye, but he continued watching the TV he’d turned back on shortly before.  He hadn’t really been concentrating on it, but it didn’t appear to be the sort of programme that needed much concentration.  He still felt slightly fired up from earlier, his body having reacted in somewhat unsettling ways to the way he had looked at Korian.  This time, with the way he had confronted it head on, the heat he’d felt at thinking about all of this in certain ways hadn’t faded to the chills or unease he’d started getting used to the last couple of days.  He had tried to banish it with determined thoughts that that was not who he was or what he would do, and had been somewhat successful, but it still didn’t really leave him in the right state of mind to watch some mindless programme.  He guessed he was curious whether Korian would interrupt him to mention – presumably – that dinner was ready.  But of course he didn’t, just coming to settle on his knees beside the sofa again and wait for Richard’s acknowledgement.  Richard spent a moment contemplating why it didn’t bother him as it had before, why he seemed much more comfortable with these things he still didn’t want.  But he supposed it was partly because now he felt he understood Korian a little more, and was accepting this, letting him act this way, for his sake and to make him more comfortable.  It was easier letting someone put you in the role of ‘Master’ when you felt you were doing it for them, and not taking something atrocious from someone else for yourself.

       Turning to Korian, he smiled, “Dinner ready?”

       Korian still had his head bowed and eyes lowered, as Richard imagined was going to be mostly standard, “Yes Master.”

       “Great, thank you.”

       He rose and headed toward the kitchen, not really surprised when Korian came quickly from behind to hold his chair for him, and then served out the meal which looked – thank goodness – not nearly as heavy as the previous night.

       He gestured Korian to join him and started eating enthusiastically.  He couldn’t deny how good it was to have someone cooking amazing food for him each night.

       “What is this?”

       “Garlic prawn linguine, Master.”

       Korian might be unsure and not willing to risk more than small, inoffensive answers, but Richard was in a good mood and was happy to be talking, even if the conversation ended up a little one-sided.

Smiling, Richard replied, “It’s lovely, and it’s good to have something lighter than yesterday.  Too much rich food all the time would not be very sustainable, I think.”

       “Yes Master.” Korian glanced up briefly, hesitated, then quietly added, “Master, may I ask a question?”

       This time Richard saw no reason to kill his pedantic inclination, amused and having always enjoyed playing such games.  If Korian was going to live with him, he’d just have to get used to a little teasing.  It would probably be good for him anyway – stop him from tensing and semi-panicking at every little implication or challenging reply.

       Richard looked up from the food and said mildly, “Isn’t that a question?”

       As predicted, Korian tensed and blinked slightly in surprise – apparently no one had pointed out that little irony to him before – then glanced up briefly to read Richard’s expression before lowering his eyes. 

“Yes Master, of course.  Forgive me, please.  Is there anything that you wish me to do to request permission to speak or ask a question?  A gesture or posture that you would prefer to signal that to you?”  He paused and picked up his fork again, before something else seemed to occur to him and he quickly added, “Or would you prefer me never to do so?”

Richard chewed slowly, listening as the subject went further and further out of his comfort zone.  He let it wash over him slightly, refusing to be horrified by what Korian was actually saying and the image it was trying to create of how completely he could restrict Korian’s life with just a word or two.  Not allowed to speak, at all, ever.  He fought back a shudder, deliberately not letting his mind spin over all the implications something like that would lead to, not letting himself consider what Korian was casually asking as if being able to do simple, essential things like that were of no importance to him.  You’re going to deal with this calmly, now, remember?  You decided you were going to be all easy-going and relaxed about it.

Swallowing the mouthful that had slightly stuck in his throat, Richard decided to reply as he’d thought he would originally – he’d anticipated Korian withdrawing the question or asking what he would prefer him to do, he just hadn’t quite contemplated the extremity that Korian seemed to go to without thought.  He’d just asked the question to be difficult really, because Korian’s phrase had amused him and in all honesty he probably wanted to make light of some of the ‘slave’ talk.  Of course, he’d succeeded in doing the opposite, but oh well, he supposed it wouldn’t stop him from trying again in the future.  And besides, it probably couldn’t hurt to accustom himself to these casual questions or suggestions that Korian kept coming out with that stirred up so many wrong things within him. 

So he smiled slightly and said gently, “You can ask me whatever you want, and you don’t need to ask permission to ask questions or to speak.”  He shrugged slightly and added, “Or you can if you want to.  I don’t mind.  I was just amused.”

Korian nodded slightly, “Thank you, Master.”

Richard knew he was unsettling him, but part of him thought that maybe a little bit of unsettling was a good thing – and besides, the back of his mind added sardonically, it was hardly fair for him to be the only one completely overwhelmed whenever they made conversation.

“So, what was your question?”

Korian swallowed and hesitated before answering, seeming unsure whether Richard really wanted him to ask.  “I was just wondering whether you had any preferences for food, or meals, Master.  What you would like me to cook.”

“Oh, I’m easy going, I eat most things and I enjoy trying different food too.  I’m happy with you coming up with whatever you like each night.  It’s been great so far, and I rather like the variety and surprise.  If there’s anything in particular I feel like, I’ll let you know.”

“Yes, Master.”

It wasn’t a particularly helpful response, but Richard was actually enjoying the benefit of not having to think about what to eat for dinner, or plan or choose anything.  From what he’d seen, he doubted he’d be disappointed with anything Korian decided on.  Besides, Korian knew what he could cook and what food they had in the apartment more than he did – though he somewhat thought if he requested anything Korian would make sure it happened somehow, even if it wasn’t easy or convenient.  He turned his mind away from such thoughts and regarded Korian again.  His mind went back to the issue of martial arts and the gym he’d visited, but this time he considered it alongside his earlier resolution not to underestimate the boy-like figure in front of him.  Maybe his original opinion of Korian’s chances of learning something like that had been too harsh, and he wondered anew what was behind his desire to do so – after this evening he somehow doubted his hasty thought that Korian may want to protect himself.  The boy certainly seemed to have no inclination to protect himself from Richard in any way.

“Why do you want to take up martial arts?”

It was another abrupt change of topic, but that seemed to be the way of these conversations, since Korian didn’t so much talk as just answer Richard’s questions.  He seemed to be getting used to the erratic directions of Richard’s mind too, since he replied un-phased, in his usual quiet manner.

“To protect you, Master.”

This time Richard did stop eating, and openly stared. To what?!  He caught himself – just barely – before the slight laugh escaped.  He tried briefly to picture it, the small, unassuming man opposite him trying to protect him – from some unknown thing – and it just didn’t work in his mind.  That was certainly unexpected, and he had no idea where such a thought could have come from.  Shaking his head slightly, he tried to untangle that somehow.

“Ahh…from what?”

Korian shrugged slightly, indicating it didn’t matter.  “From anything that might happen, Master.”

Well, that was unspecific – quite a task Korian has set himself there.  Richard hushed the deprecating voice that responded internally and continued.

“Why?”

That was the big question, the thing he really couldn’t understand.  As far as he’d seen, Korian considered himself a slave, and the last thing he’d ever associate with that was martial skills or protection.

Korian looked up slightly at that, seeming confused, “It’s what I’m there for, Master.  Who I am.”

Back to it being ‘who he is’ again.  But still, it didn’t make sense.

“I thought you thought you were a slave.”

Korian nodded, the confusion seeming to dissipate as if Richard had figured it out.  “Yes, Master.”

Unfortunately, that made it no clearer at all.

“Sorry Korian, this makes no sense to me.  In what world would a slave learn to fight and act to protect his Master?”

Korian’s confusion evidently returned and he raised his gaze to meet Richard’s eyes, which Richard was thankful for as there seemed to be enough miscommunication without additional barriers.  “Forgive me, Master, I don’t understand either.  If you’ll allow me your phrasing, in what world would a slave not do so?”

Richard shook his head slightly, feeling they’d reached another point where their worlds were alien to each other.

“OK, so you’re saying that where you come from, that is what all slaves do?”

Korian nodded, “Yes, Master.”

“So…how does it work?  You have all the slaves trained in martial skills and such, so they’re able to protect their masters from whatever might happen.  What about the masters?  What are they trained in?  Do the slaves have weapons as well, or are they not allowed to use those?  Do the masters have weapons?  Are they different weapons?”

It was a lot of questions as he tried to picture the foreign system; he’d always been fascinated by how such things worked and was eager to sort it out in his mind, even if he found the subject matter distasteful.

Korian looked similarly absorbed – probably by the way Richard was trying to think about it, which would be completely foreign to him.

“The slaves are trained, Master, and many have various weapons, sometimes of their choosing and sometimes of their masters’.  It often depends on their ability – a slave has to be worthy of the opportunity to use or train with various weapons.  The masters aren’t trained at all, and don’t carry weapons either – unless they wish to for effect, which is rare.  They don’t need to be – protection is the slaves’ responsibility.”

It sounded an impossible system to Richard.

“But then how is slavery enforced?  I mean, if the slaves have all the training and the weapons, what stops them from overthrowing the people that rule over them?”

Now Korian looked openly horrified and was shaking his head.  “I…I’m sorry, Master, I don’t know how to answer that.  It’s completely impossible, no one would ever consider such an unspeakable thing.  Slavery isn’t enforced, Master, it doesn’t need to be.  It just is.”

Richard couldn’t really believe what Korian was describing to him, didn’t see how any people that had it in their power to free themselves from the oppressive life Korian had obviously grown up with could stay that way.  But he thought back to the discussion they’d had yesterday, that had revealed similarly appalling things, thought about Korian’s single-minded resolve to be his slave regardless of whatever else he was offered.  For these people, slaves are born, not made.  It didn’t seem possible, but Korian was obviously trying to explain, to show him with words how their system worked, and for him these concepts Richard was struggling with clearly seemed to be self-evident truths.  His shocked reaction to Richard’s questions had made it clear that nothing else was ever even considered.  Another awful thing to dwell on for another time. 

Changing the subject slightly, he focused back on where this had all originally come from, unwilling to have the system described play out in his mind.

He smiled a little, trying to show Korian that he was trying to understand and accept all this, and said playfully, “So, can you actually fight then?”

Korian looked down as he replied quietly.

“I was trained until my former master took me away when I was thirteen, Master.  And since then I have practiced intensely whenever my former master allowed me the time, and the last year I spent mostly building those skills.  But, I’m sorry, Master, please forgive me, I was never on par with the level I should have been, when I was growing up.”  He swallowed and Richard noticed him paling again, but he let him continue, wanting to hear this. “And since then, well I haven’t been subjected to the intense rituals or training that I would have been at home, so my ability has probably fallen much further below what it should be.  It’s…well it’s part of the reason I spoke out of turn and mentioned it to you yesterday, Master…the opportunity to train, so I could be able to serve as I should and protect you completely…it’s more than I could ever ask for, but I swear to you I’ll do everything I can to get to the level I should be at, to be worthy of serving you…please forgive me…”

He came to a slow stop – not because he’d said everything he felt but because he was no longer really able to express himself in words.  He moved off the chair, to the side of the table between them and sank slowly to his knees, his upper body lowering until his forehead touched the ground and he rested his hands on the floor to either side of his head.  Richard looked at Korian kneeling like that before him, pale but his body relaxed and giving all appearances of calm – something he seemed able to do at will because from the way he’d been talking, there was no doubt in Richard’s mind that his mind wasn’t calm.  Richard swallowed slightly and felt the wave of pity hit him.  It was much as he’d expected; Korian didn’t exactly seem like someone who would be able to fight particularly well, though the fact he’d trained throughout his life was unexpected.  But he didn’t realise just how deeply this affected him, how important it was to him.  If the way he described his home was accurate, he guessed he could understand why.  This was evidently one of the key things they valued in their…people.  He certainly hadn’t meant to stir up what were obviously bad memories for Korian.

“Korian,” he started gently, “look at me.  It’s ok, I didn’t ask you that to judge your ability, I was just curious and I really don’t mind what you can or can’t do.  If it helps, I stopped by that gym you mentioned yesterday and although they don’t rent the space out privately, I have the names and numbers of some martial arts clubs you can ring to talk to about joining.  And I’m happy for you to join and do that whenever you want, you can train however you want to.  But, really, you don’t need to worry about it; I’m not expecting you to protect me anyway.  Besides, there’s really not anything to protect me from, it’s hardly that dangerous here and we have our own systems for dealing with things, too.”  He tried to smile reassuringly, but if anything Korian looked more downcast at what he’d said.

“Yes, Master.  Thank you for the opportunities you’re allowing.”  Korian’s voice was barely audible and he stayed very still in the position he’d been in earlier, with his head tilted slightly so he could look up at Richard as he was required to do.  The vulnerable position that he looked up from made him seem even more pitiful, but his eyes flashed briefly for a moment as he added in an even quieter tone, “I will make myself good enough, Master, I swear I will be worthy of protecting you.”

Richard swallowed slightly and sighed a little.  He didn’t know how to make it right, how to take away the hurt that he could tell Korian was suffering even if he did give little outward sign.  He didn’t know how to show Korian that it was ok, that none of it was important and he wasn’t judging him.  His mind flitted idly to wondering how his Uncle had dealt with the same issue, but perhaps he’d never asked the question, especially in the crude way Richard had.  His Uncle had had the advantage of not needing Korian to describe his people; he’d actually seeing Korian as he’d lived previously and the culture he came from.  That would certainly have been an interesting experience, though from what Korian had described Richard wasn’t entirely sure it was something he would have handled particularly well.  He looked back at Korian, unsure what to do to change the topic or take his mind off the things that were clearly bothering him, but just wanting to continue the evening.

He nodded at the seat opposite, “Come back and join me, Korian, let’s continue dinner.  You don’t need to worry about any of this.”

Korian raised himself slightly, so he was sitting back on his heels looking up at Richard.  He took a breath and asked quietly, “Please, Master, may I serve?  May I just serve tonight?”

He met Richard’s eyes and the depth of emotion Richard saw there hurt a little.  Richard was unsure at first what Korian was asking, but realised that he evidently didn’t want to come back and join Richard for dinner.  Exactly what ‘just serve’ meant, Richard didn’t know, but intuitively he guessed Korian wanted to retreat to doing what he knew he could do well to overcome whatever he was feeling at the moment about being able to ‘protect’ his Master.  On some level it made sense to him, and he nodded before going back to his meal, hoping that Korian would feel better if he was just left to do whatever made him most comfortable.

“Thank you, Master.”

Korian rose smoothly to his feet and stood off to the side, presumably standing ready to serve Richard if it was needed.  Richard felt a little uncomfortable – it was slightly strange having someone just standing there while he ate, and he preferred talking as they had been – but he pushed it to the side and just enjoyed the meal.  Being ‘served’ wasn’t something he particularly wanted, but he was concerned about Korian and he had determined earlier to be more accepting of it all anyway.

Korian offered him some more when he was finished, but he shook his head slightly and rose.

“Thank you for the meal, Korian, and I’m glad we talked as we have tonight.  I’m going to take that night off in front of the TV now.”

He stopped himself from adding an invitation to join or from saying he was there if Korian needed anything, guessing that those things wouldn’t fit with Korian’s request to just be there to serve tonight.

Korian bowed his head and Richard left it at that, somewhat relieved to leave the room and head back to the sitting room.  He settled himself onto the sofa and turned the TV on again, happy to see that the programmes were rather better at this time.  He switched to a crime drama that was just starting – the easiest drama to watch stand-alone, he’d found.  Considering how little attention he’d been paying to the programmes he liked the most the last few weeks, he hadn’t really been able to keep up with any of the usual series he watched.  He glanced at the coffee table and saw the half-glass of beer he’d left earlier had been removed – he guessed by Korian though he had no idea when he’d done that.  It would have been warm and even less pleasant now, anyway, but he could do with something to drink.  He hesitated as he considered the thought before gently calling out to Korian.  The man appeared an instant later, standing to the side with his head typically bowed, his arms behind his back and his legs slightly spread.  Another position, it seemed.  Richard figured they must all be for different situations, though he had no idea what the rules were or what dictated each one.

“Could you get me a coffee, please, Korian?”

“Yes Master.”  The reply came quickly, and Korian turned to leave.

The brief interaction made Richard feel strange.  It felt wrong to be calling Korian to him when he wanted something, especially little things he could easily do himself.  He’d known that he’d feel that the moment the thought had occurred to him. But it was more important to him that he show his acceptance of Korian in the capacity he obviously wanted to be accepted in, that he show his willingness to think about what Korian said and claimed.  The coffee came a couple of minutes later, with Korian coming in and setting it down in front of him before standing back as if to see if anything else was required.  Richard just nodded and Korian bowed briefly before backing up a little then turning to leave.  Richard reached for the coffee, trying to absorb himself in the programme and ignore the increase in his pulse or the stirring in his body.  This really didn’t seem the time for those feelings, but in leaning back and relaxing he couldn’t help but replay the evening and see in so many different ways the things Korian offered that he could never accept.  Not being able to accept them didn’t make them seem any less intoxicating though, and he allowed himself a small sigh as he sipped at the coffee.

*  *  *

       Korian was a mess.  He knew he was, knew that the earlier exchange had unsettled him in a way he shouldn’t have allowed.  But it seemed that with every revelation his Master made, his worth and ability to please seemed to fall even further.  I’m not expecting you to protect me. Korian shuddered slightly.  His Master had evidently never considered him able to do that adequately; had doubted his abilities to protect him from the start.  Maybe that was one of the reasons he’d never considered him worth punishing – he’d known that Korian would be unable to serve and protect him properly.  And he was right.  Korian hadn’t really taken the time to assess himself in comparison to the abilities the other slaves from home would have now but it was suddenly clear to him just how far behind he must be.  He had been struggling and one of the weakest before he left, but he hadn’t thought about how his half-invented continuations of the lessons and training from home would compare to the results the full training would achieve for the slaves back home.  He actually had no idea how behind he was, but it must have gotten worse since he left.  Until his Master had asked, he hadn’t thought about any measurement of his ability, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  Couldn’t stop thinking about what a disappointment and failure his Master must see him as.  Not even good enough for his Master to consider him able to serve in that way, to consider allowing his protection to fall to Korian.

       As he worked around the kitchen while listening carefully for any indication his Master may wish something from him, he tried to resolve to fix it; to work hard in any free moment to live up to what his Master should be able to expect of him.  But a part of him was starting to feel like he had too many things he was resolving to fix, too many failures.  He wouldn’t stop trying, of course, would never give up his desire and determination to perfect himself for his Master, but he felt wracked with guilt and failure whenever he thought of all the things his Master should have now from his slave.  All the things he seemed unable to provide.  He wished his Master would beat him for his failures, wished that his Master would take his displeasure out on him and allow him the chance to at least provide that outlet.  Wanted to feel the pain he deserved, to feel the reminder that his Master wouldn’t accept such failures from his property, to know that he was going to be forced to serve and please and protect properly.  But he wasn’t worth being given that either and it was hard knowing he would have to struggle to show his Master that he even had the potential to be the slave that he should be. 

Korian worked hard, using the opportunity he’d been given tonight to settle his mind and take him back to calm and determination.  It had been wrong to ask to be allowed just to serve tonight, especially in response to a direct order to the contrary.  But at the same time he had felt like he had to, he had been so desperate to show that he could be good, he could please his Master.  He was grateful his Master had allowed it, and he spent the evening making sure his behaviour and work was perfect, desperate to make the whole of himself perfect.  I will be a good slave.  I will.