Tami's Descent
CHAPTER ONE - The background and beginning
My name is Tim. Well, I guess nowadays, it is more Tami than anything else I
have been cross-dressing since I was 18. I started out like many by wearing my
sister's clothes. I have always been attracted especially to fetish attire.
There has always been something about woman dressed in leather that has been a
major turn-on. A classy woman dressed in a business suit attracted me like no
other. Unfortunately, however, the only "fetish" garment that my sister owned
was a blue suede skirt. Of course, this was my attire of choice. I used to don
the skirt with a nice multicolored, primarily beige blouse and her pink ankle
boots, hop into the parents car, and drive around town. I never did have the
courage to walk the streets, although there were times when I would stop on a
deserted street and step out for a few moments. I relished the exhilaration.
Anyhow, I digress.
Since then, again, like many cross dressers, I attempted to suppress the
feelings I would have. Being raised in the traditional middle-class culture, I
considered myself very heterosexual and very "manly" in most of the things that
I did. I played many sports and did many of the typical "guy" activities. I
was involved with a number of "regular/vanilla" relationships with women, during
which the urges in me never went away, I simply bottled them up whenever they
reared their head. I even purged my wardrobe on occasion. As I said, these
urges never did fade and ultimately, when my last long-term relationship came to
an end, I decided to quit attempting to hide these urges and explore them
further. Fortunately, by this time, the Internet had sprung to life. I started
shopping online, primarily using Ebay to buy many of the outfits I had once only
fantasized about. I invested in a digital camera and would take pictures any
chance I could get. Finally, I was able to express the other side of me that I
had kept hidden for so long. I would dream about serving a Dominant Female as
her sissy maid, being used for her pleasure wherever and whenever she wanted. I
even fantasized about being used by multiple dominant women at the same time.
What I did not fantasize about, however, was being used by a Dominant Male. I
must admit that being used sexually by a Dominant Transvestite was quite an
intriguing thought, however, and something that became very fascinating to me.
I would spend much time online seeking out and chatting with any Dominant
Transvestites I could find. My ultimate fantasy was to serve at a gathering of
Dominant Women (perhaps including Dominant Transvestites), donned in a clear
plastic maid uniform, which, while still donning clothing, easily showed, by
undergarments. I could imagine myself answering the door with each arriving
guest and having them make comments at the sight of me and my attire. "Oh, what
a pretty maid.", "Wow, what a sexy slut." "Impressive, what a whorish outfit."
Were some of the comments I could imagine. All the while, the guests would have
the opportunity to fondle me and have their way with me. Some of the scenarios
included having them take me into the back room, have their way with me and
return to the party as if nothing happened. Again, there were no men at the
party, only Dominant Women. After all, I was still a very heterosexual, "manly"
man outside of this particular habit that I may have.
Anyhow, time went by and as my collection of fetish attire, outfits, shoes, and
adornments increased, so did my photo collection. I was always exciting at the
thought of taking risque or more explicit shots. I have many interests in the
realm of Dominance and Submission, and picture taking was one of them. If you
haven't caught on yet, I also very much enjoy humiliation, degradation, and
bondage One other particular interest of mine is body-writing. If you haven't
explored this fetish, I strongly recommend it. I remember seeing one
transvestite, bound, gagged, tied with words like "whore", "sissy", "cunt",
"bitch", written on her body in permanent magic marker It was photos like these
that I would collect and save on the hard drive on my computer. My collection
is vast, and since I live alone, I simply keep this on my hard drive or on
compact disc, as I have no worries of others using my pc. I also would enjoy
collected short video-clips of TV's being taken. Unfortunately, many of these
involved Dominant males using TV's, but I didn't care. Something about the
helplessness of the submissive TV's was something I found very erotic. Also,
the males seemed to be more cruel and humiliating that the Dominant women. As
humiliation is a turn-on, I was naturally attracted to these clips, which I
would watch often. There was one set that I enjoyed very much called
"biker-slut" or something like that. It was able a girl (GG) who get used by a
bunch of bikers. Again, although I am/was heterosexual, there was something I
found enticing about this particular set of clips. The fact that they used her
and left her was awesome. Another of my favorite fantasies was to be tied,
spread-eagle, and face down to a bed, unable to move or turn my head. I would
be gagged with a penis gag, presumably by a Dominant Mistress. I would hear the
click-click of her heels as they made their way into the room. She would
approach my ass and begin to rub and lube it up. She would then proceed to
enter me, and I would begin to move myself towards her as much as I could
considering my bound predicament. As she continues working her way in and out
of me, she walks in front of me, brandishing a large strap-on. As she stares at
me with a sly grin, I suddenly realize that she isn't the one who is taking me
from behind. I mean, how could she be the one taking my ass when she is
standing directly in front of me? She tells me to "shut the fuck up whore. I
know this is your fantasy so just take the fucking like you deserve. That is
what good little whores do." She then removes my penis gag and begins fucking
me with the strap-on. They both continue to ride me, using both of my available
holes until they cum with delight. Mistress then replaces the dildo gag and
they both leave the room. After they leave, I realize I never did know who took
my ass from behind. I mean I was raped, but don't even know by who! Anyway, as
I enjoy writing, I would write these fantasies down in a journal, which I also
left by my PC. Again, since I live alone, there were no worries about anyone
prying.
Anyway, one particular night, I was looking forward to taking a new set of
photos. I had recently finished a project of making a very nice spreader bar,
which I made exceptionally wide. After all, since I wanted to be a whore and
take good photos, I thought it all the more risque to spread myself completely.
I would take photos about once a week, and this was my night to go a little
further. I didn't have much experience in self-bondage, but how hard could it
be? I just needed to make sure that I didn't make the last clip too tight and I
should be able to get out easily. Fortunately, I have a remote control for my
camera, which allows me to take photos without having to run for a timer. The
only drawback is, however, that the camera automatically shuts down after a
certain time and you have to be at the camera to turn it back on. I decided to
go all out this particular night. I was going to deck myself out in all latex,
including latex panties. Since I really wanted to get risque, I also decided to
take out my large dildo that I enjoyed practicing on. Nothing more exciting
than a bound TV forced to suck a dildo. Anyhow, I started prepping myself for
the night's activities ahead. I took my time shaving my entire body, as I did
often. I started with the electric razor, and then moved on to the nice
relaxing bath, where I used a manual razor to shave myself nice and smooth
including my private areas. After all, I can't dress the part if I don't feel
the part too. When I was done with my body, I completely the hair removal by a
complete facial shaving. I made sure my face was nice and smooth to allow for
the perfect application of makeup. When I was finished, I logged onto the
computer. When I am nice and dressed, I also like to start up the web cam to
allow some other to see. I get loads of IM's from guys, but since I am not
interested in men, I rarely even answer. They can be such a bore. I mean, they
don't read my profile saying I am not interested in men?? I signed on to AOL,
Yahoo, and the other services I frequent including some personal ad services. I
list my city, but I figure there are too many people out there for me to have to
worry about being recognized. After all, only others that are into the scene
would be looking there, right? I signed on and began the slow process of the
makeup application. I like to take my time and do it right so I look
ultra-feminine. As usual, I got lots of IM's from a bunch of horny guys,
including one from a male that called himself Master Ken. Now, this particular
guy was one that I talk to on occasion, but never thought of the possibility of
actually meeting him. Talk online was harmless, so I would even tease on
occasion, and send my naughty photos to him. He lived a few states away, so I
had no worries about ever actually having to deal with my taunts. He said
hello, and I, in my usual fashion, described the attire I would wear later to
him. He was very impress and complimented me as usual. I even enticed him a
bit by sending him a photo of my last session when I took photos of my sucking
my dildo. I told him, "it's too bad you are so far away." He responded by
saying, "Well, one of these days you will submit to Me." I smiled and simply
responded, "Yes, sir", knowing that I didn't have to worry about that
possibility. After all, I couldn't imagine myself ever calling someone,
"Master". I mean, I had my cross dressing interests, but underneath, I am a
typical male. I told him I would be in and out while I got ready and, as usual,
he said, "I'll be here." I prepped my makeup as usual. Light shade of pink
under the eyes, dark gray above them highlighted with black mascara and
eyeliner. I even used false eyelashes tonight, which is something I don't
normally do. I applied my foundation and blush and applied the powder to even
out my face. I finished my facial ensemble with a nice rosy shade of red, which
I knew Mr. Ken loved. I figured I might as well drive him wild while I am at
it. I guess I kind of enjoyed being a tease, and since I won't see him, why not
give him a show, hehe. I returned to the PC wearing a pair of black latex
panties and said hello again. He simply said a polite hello in return and I
resumed my dressing. I put on a pair of black nylons (wow, they feel so sexy on
freshly shaven legs), a pair of black garters, and my black bra containing my
typical extra-large breast forms. I have always been a big breast fan so
naturally I gravitated towards being a buxom babe. I then slipped on my black
and red striped latex "skater-skirt" with my red and black latex halter-top. I
added my gold hoop earrings (that extra special slut look) with a strawberry
blonde wig. I placed my black patent leather ankle boots on my feet. Finally,
I also adorned myself with a nice gold arm band/bracelet, various rings, and the
icing to it all, my pink patent leather collar. I loved having that on. I
checked myself out in the mirror when I was all complete. Wow, did I look good.
I don't know if I had ever looked as well as I did that night. I was going to
enjoy taking photos, and mind you, I was revved to take some nasty ones. :)
As always, I returned to my computer before doing anything else I closed the
many IM windows from the various horny men that IM'd me, and said hello again to
Mr. Ken. He asked if I was finished dressing and I said, "Yes, Sir, I am." He
asked politely if he could view my web cam. I guess that is why I spoke to him
as opposed to the other males that solicited me; he was always very polite and
very nice. He wasn't as crude or as brash as the other many IM's I got asking,
"Would you like to suck my cock.", "May I lick your asshole?", or something else
of the like. Even though I liked that kind of talk and/or humiliation, I wanted
it from a Mistress, not some vulgar man. I took a final look at myself and
started my web cam. Of course, he was the first to request permission to view,
followed by some of the other girls I spoke with online. I flirted a bit and
showed myself around a bit to those that watched. Again, as usual, I received a
number of requests from various males and such requesting to view my cam, which
I promptly denied. Geez, don't I sound like a stuck-up bitch? :) I mean, at
least say hello first. Anyhow, after a few minutes of idle chat and showing
myself off, I told everyone that I would be away from the cam to take some
photos. Funny, Mr. Ken usually keeps viewing even while I am away but for some
particular reason, he signed off shortly after I announced I would be away to
take photos. Ah well, probably yahoo just acting up again; he will request to
see as soon as he logs back on, as usual. He always like to watch and pay
compliments. He'll have to wait until I am done. I left the computer and went
into the bedroom. After all, I wanted to try out my newly created spreader bar.
I was so anxious. I had recently gotten quite busy making my place over into a
fetish haven. New spreader bar, newly made bondage cross, newly made fuck
bench, and I even altered my bed for someone to be tied spread eagle. I had
hoped to find a Mistress to fulfill that fantasy for me. Alas, someday :)
I set out to take my photos. As I knew the bondage photos were going to take
some doing and would probably mess my hair a bit, I started out with the typical
poses. I would sit on the bed, nice and proper; stand in the corner, and my
favorite, with my purse out like a streetwalker. I would often think about
driving out into the city where the transvestite hookers would be, just to get
out and walk the streets. Ah, then I would get hit on by men, yuck. When I was
finished taking the usual battery of photos, I set out to take the explicit
ones. I put my ankle cuffs on first. Wow, they were snug, I even got ones that
locked into place. Eh, what the hell, I locked them on. I have the key, might
as well put it on the bureau so I don't lose it. I also went ahead and attached
my wrist cuffs, again, locking them on of course. Hmmm...I look great as a
bondage TV, I thought. I placed the key on the bed and set out to position the
camera properly. Some of my favorite photos were of me from behind, panties
exposed, so naturally, I was excited of the thought of using a spreader bar to
"open me up". I got the camera in place and set out to try my first
self-bondage. I didn't have to run, but I did have to act somewhat
expeditiously, since the camera would automatically shut down after a few
minutes. I sat down on the bed and fastened my ankles to the spreader bar.
Wow, I really did make this wide!; it really did do a good job of spreading me
out. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to buy clips yet, so I tied my ankles
to the bar. Trust me, that was tough enough, I was very much secured to the
bar. :) I then set ahead to the task of my wrists. I decided that once I
secured one hand, the other would be free, so instead, I decided to secure them
using one ultimate tie, securing them very tightly. I figured it would be tough
to get out of, but I knew time was running short with the camera. I decided,
"Fuck it" and tied them tight. Wow, this was really tough. I thought it would
be easy. Not at all. When I fastened my hands to the bar, it automatically
spread me completely and bent me over just the way I like it: face down in the
bed, legs spread, and ass in the air. I quickly pushed the button on the remote
so that the camera did not shut off. Fortunately, the flash went off, and I
knew I had beaten the time limit. Ha, just made it. I set off to my tasks of
taking my kinky photos. Wow, this was such a rush, so exciting. I took a bunch
of photos, lost count at about 30, lol. I tried to roll over and change
positions, but no dice. I really couldn't move. It was scary, but fun at the
same time. As long as I can get myself out by morning, I'll be all right, I
quipped to myself. Oh, I guess I forgot to mention the fact that I put my ball
gag into place before I started my run for the bed. That made my feel ever so
more excited. Besides the bed on the nightstand, I left my "practice" dildo and
penis gag, which is my favorite of the gags. I figured I would use these to
take some photos later. I continued to snap photos and tried to lift my rear
further into the air, although I didn't change positions much; it was that
tough. I had really done a good job.
I should take a step back to say I live in an apartment complex. I live on the
second floor apartment in a fairly spacious place. The bedroom is a nice size
and I have a queen bed. I don't consort with my neighbors much, save to say
hello once in a while. Besides, people are moving in and moving out all the
time, so it is tough to keep track of everyone. It also helps when I go out
dressed. Nobody takes notice cause they don't really know much about who lives
in my place anyway. Anonymity is a good thing sometimes. I was spacing out in
the whole photography session when I thought I heard a noise downstairs. I
didn't pay it much mind at first. Every time the neighbors come in or go out,
their doors rattle mine, so I've kind of gotten used to it. Considering my
current state, though, I somehow felt like I had a heightened sense of hearing.
I guess kind of what they say about blind people or someone lacking another
sense, lol. I ignored it at first, but after I heard it again, I guess I began
to panic. I tried to release myself from my bonds, but I guess I was just too
good at securing myself. That, combined with my panic, prevented me from even
moving. I mean, what if the maintenance people were here for some reason? How
do I explain this spot? Shit, I can't move, can't get out, what do I do?!?
Well, at least my bedroom door is closed, usually if they need to come in;
something is up with the kitchen. Maybe something is wrong with the damn
dishwasher again and the water overflowed downstairs. Fortunately, they are
pretty good at just shutting the problem down and coming back the next day.
That's what they did last time. Maybe they won't notice me. Oh shit, what
about my computer though? I left that on, and the cam too! Well, it has been a
few minutes, so the monitor should shut down by itself. Whew, good thing for
those screensavers. And I used to think they were annoying. Maybe it saved my
embarrassment. I still didn't know what to do though. I was struggling to try
to get free. As I did, it became apparent that someone was in the apartment,
coming up the steps. If I can just get out of the bonds and remove the gag, I
can tell them I am changing. However, due to the way I tied my hands, as I
tried to get loose, the bonds became tighter. Ever do that when you are trying
to untie a knot? End up making it worse? That was me, and what a time to do
it... Someone was coming up the steps and all I could do was listen. Hell, I
couldn't even turn around to see what was going on! After what seemed like an
eternity, the steps stopped making noise. The person was actually in my
apartment now. I was scared to death, but praying that it was simply the
maintenance guy headed to the kitchen. Damn dishwasher, what a time to act up.
They need to replace that damn thing. I mean, shit, what about 1, 2 inches on
the other side of the bedroom door, here I was, bound, helpless, with all of my
girly clothes on the floor, camera set up, dildo sitting on the nightstand?? I
closed my eyes and praying for the guy to leave, all the while, hopelessly
yanking at the bonds I created for myself.
I was mortified to hear the turning of the bedroom doorknob. I tried to scream,
but gag prevented that. I tried to turn around, but no way was that happening.
Shit, what the fuck am I going to do now? Who is it? Is it family? Friend?
Maintenance? Who else could get in? I heard the door open, but whoever it was
didn't make a sound. It was so tough, I mean, if you see me like that, at least
tell me who the hell you are. I know if it is a family or friend or even
maintenance guy, don't you think I am humiliated enough? Let me out of the
bonds and have your laugh. I know you will have a great story to tell others at
my expense. Guess it's time to find another apartment. After what seemed like
another eternity, finally, the person spoke. "Well, well, what do we have
here?" My heart sank; it was a man's voice. Fortunately, I didn't recognize
the voice. At least it wasn't one of my family members or friends. I mean,
fuck it, what can the apartment do? I wasn't doing anything that violates the
lease, and I wasn't committing a crime, and after all, I don't know anyone here
anyway. So, ok, Mr. Maintenance man, let me loose and tell me what the fuck you
were doing just letting yourself in. I mean, when I signed the lease, didn't I
make it clear that I wanted to know anytime you were coming into the apartment.
Now, I was getting too pissed off to care about being humiliated. Just let me
loose, cause you have some 'splaining to do. "Doesn't Tami just look so
inviting," was the next sound I heard. TAMI? How does this clown know my femme
name? What was he doing, monitoring my apartment? "So, Tami, I see you do look
very nice and inviting. It is about time we met, my little slut." Waitaminute,
what the hell is this? "I guess you don't know who this is, huh Tami?" The
most audible noise I could make was a completely muffled, "mmph". "Here let me
help you with that camera. After all, you do like the slutty pics, and let me
tell you, you are going to be taking some very slutty ones tonight." I was once
again mortified. Who is this person? Could it be the maintenance person? How
does he know my feminine name? And that I was taking photos? How long has he
been watching me? "You know Tami, the lock on your apartment door is not very
secure. You really should have invested in a deadbolt. Maybe then this
wouldn't have happened." Oh shit, now I am totally confused. Doesn't sound
like a maintenance person. I mean, he would simply have used his key. "Either
that, or your should be more careful who you fuck with online." My heart
dropped. My god, this is one of the men from online. I don't talk to any men
though, how the hell would they know anything about me at all, much less where I
live. There is no way they would know I was doing self bondage tonight 'cause I
don't as much as say 'hi' much less tell them what my plans are. Well, there is
one guy that I actually talk to, but that is Mr. Ken, but 1) he lives too far
away, and 2) he is much too polite to talk this way. As my head is spinning and
I am desperately trying to figure out what the hell is going on, I hear the
sound of a zipper, like the unzipping of a fly. I gulp in agony at the thought
of a guy taking off his pants. In my apartment no less! I desperately yank at
my bonds, again to no avail. The thought of a guy taking out his penis in my
presence has me completely unnerved. "Now, now Tami, stay still. The thought
of finally being fucked have you squirming? I have a way to take care of that,
you know." "Nice ass, bitch, hope it is ready." "By the way, I did notice you
left your computer on, but we'll get to that later, my little TV slut." The
next thing I knew, I could feel the heat of someone's presence on my naked rear.
"Ah, I like a slut that takes pride in her appearance. I can tell you do, not a
hair on you, not even on your ass. What a great whore." I stated to whimper at
the thought. This was supposed to be a fun night, not turning out like this.
After all, if anyone was to do this, it was supposed to be a Dominant Woman, not
a smelly man! I am a heterosexual for crying out loud. "Ah, Tami, your ass is
so nice and inviting. I could fuck it right now. I think I'll wait though,
because you need something else first." SMACK...Ow!, the spank on my ass was a
shock. "You need a spanking for teasing me your fucking slut. I told you that
you would be mine." SMACK. Wow, that stings! I began to whine through my gag.
"Ah, too bad, poor little bitch can't even cry out for help." SMACK, he
continued to spank my ass until it was nice and red. "Figured it out yet,
BITCH? Do you know who has you at his whim and mercy??" I was at a loss. I
had no idea. "Well, I would tell you, but I think I'll wait. There is
something I would like to do first." I suddenly felt something very wet and
cold on the crack of my rear. "Ah, my little whore, how does that lube feel?
Do you know what that is for?" I was just coming down from the sting of the
spanking when I heard the words. The wetness of the lube was cool against the
heat from the smacks on my butt. I slowly began to hear that words that he
said.."What that is for..."? Ohmygod, he didn't actually plan to put anything
in there, did he? I mean, I am still a virgin, save for a few butt plugs, but
nothing substantial. I started yanking at my bonds, very hard this time. There
was no way I was going to sit still for this. I only wanted to take some cool
photos, but be raped. "Go ahead Tami, keeping pulling, you'll enjoy it more
when I take that nasty ass. You know you are nothing but a kinky, slutty whore.
You want to be a cockslut and that is just what you are going to be when I am
done with you. You are going to be begging to take cock when I am through.
Wait until you enjoy the taste of cum and the heat it creates in your ass." I
began to struggle even harder, but my muscles were beginning to grow tired. I
couldn't believe what was happening. Suddenly and without warning, he began to
slide a finger in my ass. "Yes, my little pussy whore. Feel that in your ass,
it is only a taste of what is to come." I was trying to struggle, trying to
clamp down my bunghole, but have you ever tried to resist while tied like that?
Trust me, forget it. "Well, Tami, since I am a nice guy, perhaps I will tell
you who I am before I put my COCK inside of you. My name is Ken, and that is
MASTER KEN to you." "I better not EVER hear you call me Ken again. I have
tolerated it to this point only because we chatted only and I know I could
sucker you into being comfortable. You're are now my sissy whore and my
property. And while I know you are resistant now, you can trust me that by the
time I am through, you will be a well trained, well prepared cockwhore for your
Master. Get used to the idea and get used to the terms. I know you think I am
a nice guy and I am, but I am a demanding Master, and I know what you need. You
crave humiliation, you crave to be used. You crave to be trained. I know you
want cock, I know you need cock. I am more than happy to oblige. And we will
be exploring more of your fantasies and needs. Trust me. I am just beginning
with you."
END OF CHAPTER ONE
Created July 2003 - Comments? Please send to: tamis_demise@hotmail.com
