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Exploring
By
Barbara Allen
Contents
One ................................................................................................................................. 3
Two ............................................................................................................................... 16
One
Two people who were about to start a new life. Two people who destiny was bringing
together.
“You are going to WHAT!?”
“I'm going to a munch to seek a Master,” said Paige.
“You mean like in that dirty book everyone is talking about?”
“No not like the stupid book silly! A real Master. Someone who knows what he is doing
and can help me explore my… possible interests and feelings. Help me learn what makes me
tick… and wet.
“I am jealous of you Leslie you know exactly what makes you interested…and turned on.
Those dumb, muscle head, gym asses unfortunately. Though there was that amazing time that
one night in Mexico with that Italian guy and us. That got us both going!” she said with a giggle
and a smile.
“I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with this part of my life and I know that
this may be perfect for me.”
* * * * * *
William Jackson was busy with the paperwork he so despised. As he worked, his mind
wandered off on his search for a partner. He was 35 and had one failed marriage behind him.
He really didn’t like living alone but wanted something stable this time. He had been married
ten years ago but the marriage had been a mistake. She was straight and that wasn’t what he
wanted. After five years of struggling to make a go of it, they had mutually agreed to call it
quits.
Thanks to the Internet, he had finally discovered that there were actually women out there
who were interested in the same things he was. Bill liked to imagine a world where his female
staff were all submissive and beautiful and totally at his mercy. Of course he recognized that this
wasn’t possible in the real world and he showed them proper respect. But in the world of his
imagination, it was quite different.
He looked at the clock. Tonight there was a munch at the steakhouse where the group
met and who knows? Perhaps he would meet someone there who was unattached and open to a
relationship.
Meanwhile, in the same building, Paige Ryan sat at her desk going through the employee
files. It had only been a month since her promotion but she had intended to shake things up in
her department starting with weeding out what she considered to be the dead weight employees.
She’d already let two people go this week and would be interviewing from other departments to
fill the spaces. She really couldn’t afford to let anyone else go; however, there was no reason to
let anyone think that they weren’t expendable. They would work harder if they thought the axe
was going to be brought down at any time.
Oh she knew what people were saying about her behind her back, that the only reason
she’d gotten the promotion was because she’d had to have slept with someone for it. At twenty
five, she was the youngest executive the firm had but she’d earned it, and not on her back. The
fact that she was attractive only fueled the gossip. She was on the shorter side, though the heels
she wore added inches to her mere five feet, and she always tried to keep her pale blond hair tied
back so it would look professional. But, no matter how conservative she tried to keep her
appearance, she was young and was fast tracked, so the rumors had started.
As she went through the files, she was finding it harder and harder to concentrate. The
day was nearing an end and she was both excited and nervous about the dinner she was going to.
She hadn’t been in a serious relationship in well over two years and the men she tended to date
just didn’t understand her, or her needs. She was brought out of her reverie when her assistant
buzzed her office to remind her of the department heads meeting she had to attend.
* * * * * *
For Bill, the day was moving more slowly than usual because he was impatient to be
leaving which was unusual for him. He checked his calendar and saw that he had a damn
department heads meeting. They were a colossal waste of time. Still he had to go so he was
resigned to it. His group was doing well and he knew they were pleased with him as a boss
which was important to him. He really didn’t care that much how hard they worked as long as
they got good results. If they could do that without killing themselves, that was fine with him.
He knew other managers took a different approach but it didn’t seem to get them any better
results.
It was time and he went to the meeting. As he walked in and sat down, several people
said hello and he chatted while they waited for the Senior Vice President to come in and start.
As was his bent, Bill looked over all the others at the meeting, particularly the women, both
managers and secretaries, as they drifted in and out. One girl, as always, caught his eye. He
couldn’t remember her name. Paige something, he thought. Now she was spectacular. She was
the youngest of any of the managers and younger than many of the secretaries. She seemed to
try hard to project an image because of that. She was extremely shapely and although she was
very careful to wear conservative outfits, they couldn’t hide her figure. She was a little girl but
wore very high heels to offset her lack of height. All that did, in his eyes, was make her sexier.
He wondered what she was like when she wasn’t trying to show off. She was very
officious in the meetings but she was clearly on the fast track and would probably be very
successful until she hit the glass ceiling. The top people all liked her a lot and the rumors were
that she was probably sleeping with somebody but Bill didn’t believe that for a second. It was a
delightful fantasy but that wasn’t usually how women got ahead.
The meeting started and he had to pay attention. He glanced at the clock from time to
time. When it was over, he would head to what he really wanted to be doing.
* * * * * *
One thing that Paige hadn’t been expecting during the meeting was having to justify the
layoffs she’d implemented when she got her promotion. She especially didn’t care for having to
do so in a group full of her colleagues, but she thought she handled the situation as well as could
be expected. Maybe it had been a rash choice in an effort to exert her authority but she thought it
had been necessary. Half of her staff had been with the company since she was still in college
and treated her as such. Now she had their attention, and she fully intended to have their respect
as well.
The other department heads were alright, though she hadn’t really had time to get to
know most of them very well. Most of them looked as bored throughout the meeting as she was
and, when it was over, she noticed that almost everyone filed out as quickly as they could. Some
more than others, she thought, when she saw how fast William had left the meeting.
She’d made a fairly hasty exit herself. The restaurant was a good ten miles from the
office and she knew she wouldn’t have time to go home and change first. Though she knew she
looked good in what she was wearing, she had wanted to change into something a little less
corporate and a little more fun. She would have to settle for losing the suit jacket and taking her
hair down to accomplish an appearance that was more approachable.
When she pulled up the restaurant, she sat in her car for a good ten minutes trying to
work up the nerve to actually walk in. She touched up her makeup and, with a deep breath, got
out of the car and walked in. The group had a private room in the back of the restaurant and
when she checked in, they gave her a nametag to wear. She felt fairly ridiculous putting it on,
but she wanted to try and fit in and, hopefully, meet some nice people or, if things went really
well, one especially nice person.
* * * * * *
Bill was also very glad when the staff meeting finally came to an end. He wasn’t
impressed much with the girl’s explanation of why she thought she had to cut her staff but it
wasn’t his concern. He felt sorry for her staff, though. A thought went through his head as she
made her defense that she would probably be a Domme if she wasn’t so damn straight. Some
girls didn’t know their place. If he was running the world, he would have her report for a
spanking for behaving like that instead of defending her staff.
As soon as the staff meeting was adjourned, he headed for his car. He wanted to get to
the restaurant early. He didn’t have anything to do with setting things up. That was Dave
Jenkins’ job. He and Dave had been friends a long time and he liked seeing Dave. He also
frankly and openly envied Dave for his lovely wife, Karen. She was his consensual slave and
they had a fantastic relationship. She, of course, also adored her husband and felt that he had
saved her from the world. With him, her inner desires could be openly expressed. She said
when she got his collar, she felt totally free for the first time in her life.
When he arrived, he pulled into the lot and walked over to the restaurant. He headed
straight into the back where the room was that they reserved. Dave and Karen and a few others
were there and he said hello and relaxed. They couldn’t wear lifestyle clothing because it was
still a public venue but there was some talk of a private party. On impulse, Bill offered them the
use of his own home. He had plenty of room. Dave said it sounded good and he would raise it
with the others.
As the room gradually filled with the members, Bill kept watch, hoping that perhaps there
would be someone of the female persuasion who was new and single. Then he felt like he had
been struck dumb as the last person he ever expected in the world to see there walked in. She
had taken off the severe suit jacket and let her hair down which further emphasized her
magnificent figure and made her look much more relaxed. That was when Bill realized that she
would recognize him and his first impulse was to get the hell out of there but he didn’t have time.
Then he thought that was ridiculous and unnecessary since, if she was there too, they were
obviously both into the lifestyle. He was surprised though that he had been right. She must be a
Domme. No wonder she acted the way she did.
On impulse he stood up and went over to her. “Good evening, Paige. It is certainly a
nice surprise to see you here.”
Of everything that Paige had expected from the evening ahead of her, running in to
someone she knew from work hadn’t even made the list. She was mortified and curious at the
same time. She didn’t know Bill nearly well enough to have even speculated on what he did in
his free time but it certainly wasn’t this. If she’d even thought for a moment someone from work
would be there, she never would have shown up, and it didn’t matter that it was him, just that
someone she worked with knew she’d been here left her almost speechless.
“It certainly is a surprise. Hello Bill”
The slightest breeze could have knocked her over from the surprise. Glancing around,
she saw more people were starting to come in and sit at various tables. Many of them knew each
other already and she figured they’d been coming here for a while now as the research she’d
done told her that this group had been meeting here for several years already.
“That old saying about how much do you really want to know about your neighbors and
coworkers comes to mind just now,” she said to Bill.
She was rambling and Paige knew she only did that when she was nervous. She had to
find a way to stop.
“I’ve never been to one of these before. I think I’m a little out of my depth here. Do you
sit anywhere?”
“Please, have a seat with me.”
Once they had sat down, Bill continued, “It is certainly a surprise to see you here. May I
assume you are a Domme? How long have you been into this lifestyle?”
He waited eagerly to see what she would say. He wondered if she was just lesbian or if
she swung both ways. This kind of inquiry would be totally improper under normal
circumstances but anyone here would be accepting of it as it was just a way of getting to know
what was important about each other.
In a way, having a face that she knew made it slightly easier for Paige. Sitting by herself
and just hoping that she’d meet someone who would be friendly was a concern. In a way it made
her feel like she did when she was in school and her parents had moved around a lot, always the
new face in the crowd. So Bill being there was a bonus even if now she figured that working
together was going to be a little awkward.
Her eyes widened a bit in surprise when he asked if she were a Domme. She sipped at
the water that was on the table while she thought of how to respond. Did it matter if he thought
that?
“That’s an interesting assumption. I’m curious. What about me led you to think that?”
She hadn’t told him if he were correct or not, but decided she was going to be amused by it
rather than offended. After all, he only knew her from work where she knew she had a
reputation for being rather tough. It was a silly assumption in her book, though, to base
something so personal on with no real knowledge at all.
“Well, you are pretty tough and strong at work,” he said. “Since you are here...” His
voice trailed off as he realized that she was surprised. The only other possibility was... “Perhaps
I just made an unsupported assumption. I am a very strong Master myself but at work...” He
trailed off again. “Oh my Lord! I just realized what I was saying.
“Paige, can we back up a bit? I sincerely apologize for any implications or anything I
said that may have offended you. I am here, quite frankly, looking for a sub. OK, what I am
actually looking for is a woman who would like to explore being a slave. The idea puts off most
girls, even if they are into being submissive. It’s pretty extreme.
“What I find absolutely amazing is that slaves consistently say that being enslaved is the
most freeing thing that can happen to them.
“I’m sorry, I’m getting carried away, blithering. I guess I am assuming again. But I
guess it is safe to assume that you are either dominant or submissive or you wouldn’t be here.”
He laughed. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, which is it?”
Somehow, the nervous fumbling of his words relaxed her own nerves just a bit and she
was able to ease into to her surroundings. She laughed a bit when he mentioned that she had to
be either a dominant or a submissive, as she figured that much, at the very least, went without
saying unless she’d taken a most unfortunate wrong turn in the restaurant.
“We work together, so I should mind you asking, but somehow I don’t. You know I think
if I’d seen you in here before I walked in, I would have turned the other way. I’m afraid your
assumption was incorrect”
She took a few more sips of water while she carefully considered her words. The last
thing she wanted to do was come across as too unsure of what she wanted, though the truth was,
she wasn’t entirely sure what she was looking for. Oh, to hell with it, she thought, what did she
have to lose by being honest about it? She was new to this; it wasn’t something to be
embarrassed about, after all. Wasn’t that why she’d come? To meet others and to learn?
“I don’t think I can have an opinion on why this lifestyle would put some people off; this
is all very new to me. Other than things I’ve read online or books I’ve ordered, this is the first
time I’m delving in to this entire world.”
Bill was surprised at her revelation. “We don’t get too many newbies here. In that case,
let me be the first to welcome you to our little group. We tend to be out on the fringe in terms of
our sexual interests so it’s nice to be able to relax and be ourselves with other people. I am sorry
for the comments earlier. I didn’t just jump to conclusions; it looks more like I took a flying
leap!” He grinned. “We’re not supposed to be too judgmental but dominant women and
submissive men creep me out a little. You may not know this but since you said you weren’t
sure just what you are looking for, be aware that there are a few people in our group who are
what we call switches which means they go both ways.
“What we usually do is try to help newbies get acclimated and help them to figure out
what they want. You may have little or no idea what a slave is other than the involuntary kind. I
don’t know what you’ve read and I really don’t want to make any more ridiculous assumptions.
So if you could make a wish and get whatever kind of partner you would want, what would he or
she be?”
Listening to him go on, she could have told him that she understood the basic terms and
ideas. She had approached this the same way she did everything else, with conscious and
deliberate research. She’d read almost everything she could find online, both fiction and
nonfiction. She’d read over a dozen books on the subject and she’d chatted with a couple of
people over the internet who were willing to answer a few basic questions for her.
She had gotten into it through on-line porn when she stumbled across some stuff that
featured rough sex and spanking and found herself turned on a lot. She started to look for more
and was surprised at how much there was.
Paige was only a little bit surprised to hear his opinion on dominant women and
submissive men. She’d seen the way he’d looked at some of the women in the office and had
always figured him to be a little bit of a chauvinist but she decided not to judge him solely on
that. Everyone, she knew, had a few things about them that were less than desirable, it was what
made them human.
She went on saying, “I found out that there are groups like this in just about every other
city within an hour’s drive time of here. I chose this one because from what I learned about it, it
was the most welcoming to new members, and to people who were new in general.
“Don’t mistake new for naive. I’m not sure what I’m looking for in terms of what I want
out of this group. I know that I want to meet the right man to grow and explore this with.
Someone who will be patient and give the right guidance I need, who won’t be intimidated by
my drive, career-wise, and most of all, just makes me feel alive when I’m with them. I know
that’s not extremely specific, but it’s a start, right?”
She glanced around again and noticed a few more people had filtered in. Some sat in
groups, some sat alone and looked as if they were waiting for others. She could easily spot the
couples among them as well.
“You said you came here hoping to find someone,” she said. “What are you looking
for?”
“I am much clearer on what I want than you seem to be,” he replied. He thought for a
few moments. How should he put this? What he would like to say and what he would say were
quite different. If he was going to be, and able to be, completely honest with her he would just
say, I am looking for a slave a beautiful as you are, and that would be it. But he didn’t think for
one second that she would understand because she wouldn’t know what a slave was.
Instead he said, “I am looking for a woman driven by a strong inner desire to commit to a
relationship with a Master, a man to whom she is able to give herself completely, in body, mind
and spirit. She would have no limits on what can be done to her by me; she would consent to
obey me in every respect; she would give me complete control of her life with the clear
understanding that I may exercise that control in any manner I wish, whether she agreed with me
or not; that any and all of the areas where I did exercise control could be changed at any time,
unilaterally by me, without need for her further consent and that this control would be enforced
by any physical or mental measures I may see fit to use. In summary, she would exist for my
pleasure.
“And in return I would have all the responsibilities that ownership carries. Although she
would have no limits on what can be done to her by me, my limits would be based on doing
nothing that would deliberately or recklessly risk injury to her. I would demand that she obey
me in every respect but with the clear understanding that we would both thrive and grow.
“My pleasure focuses on restricting her in various physical, emotional and mental ways
that demand submission on her part. This is accomplished by the forging of mental/emotional
‘chains’ that consist of two fundamental and undeniable drives: the drive to control her in every
respect that I wish and the drive to keep her as my slave, no matter what. Finally, along with as
near total power over her as possible, I would also willingly accept as near total responsibility for
what goes on in our lives as possible.
“Further, she would be driven by three fundamental and undeniable desires: the desire to
serve, the desire to obey and the desire to remain my slave, no matter what.
“I know that’s a lot but that’s what a Master and slave are, that’s what it means. I’m not
looking for a sub. A sub is a woman who enjoys submitting as, when and how she wants and
that submission can be changed at any time. She submits only if she wants to and only how she
wants to. She has the ultimate and final responsibility for her life. And that’s fine for most
women, submissive or not but that’s not what I want.
“I think of myself as a kind of rose gardener. I own the roses and can do with them
whatever I want but I wouldn’t be much of a gardener if they didn’t bloom and grow full and
strong and blossom.”
He looked at her and smiled. “I hope I haven’t bored you silly with all that but you
asked.”
The more he spoke, the more Paige felt a pull inside of her that she’d never felt before.
What were the odds that everything he was describing that he wanted was exactly what she was
looking for, even if she hadn’t known how to put it in to words, yet? It was almost as if he’d
reached deep inside of her and read the thoughts that had been lying dormant for most of her life,
and now were being pulled to the surface.
Paige knew that something that intense would require a lot of trust and even though she
was new, she knew that it was a rare person who would not only seek out a life like that, but
embrace it. It sounded like the answer to a question she’d never had the courage to ask, yet she
was reluctant to tell him that. For one thing, they worked together. How much of their working
relationship was going to be affected just by knowing that they were both here, that they both
sought this lifestyle? At least, she mused, they rarely had to work together too closely.
“No, no you haven’t bored me at all”
If he looked closely enough, he might have seen the gleam in her eyes while he was
speaking that spoke of her own desires along the same lines. She thought about his analogy to a
rose garden and in some ways it helped to understand why it was something he was having
trouble finding; the wrong woman and the thorns would overwhelm him.
“Have you ever had that before? Ever found someone who wanted what you want? I’m
sorry, that might have been a little too personal, but I’m certainly curious”
It sounded very much to her like an all or nothing type of situation. Most of what she’d
read online spoke of limits and boundaries, and what he was telling her was he wanted someone
who had none. No, that’s not quite right. It was someone who would trust him enough to know
he knew where those lines were and do what was right for both of them. It was a level of trust
and intimacy that she doubted the vast majority of the world never got to experience.
A look of deep sadness came over him. “Yes, I have. Just once. She was my slave. I
owned her. Then she got sick. It was a very aggressive, fast acting cancer. She died within a
short time. She wanted me to find someone else even while she was sick but I refused. It took
me a while to recover and then I set out to find someone else.
“It is a difficult thing to do. Many subs are attracted to the idea of being a slave. They
find it erotic. But they don’t understand that it isn’t only in the bedroom. It is a total dedication
with no holding back and no restraints. And it centers not on lust but on trust. The girl has to
trust me without any restrictions or hesitations. In fact, that’s the first thing I will ask. Not are
you ready to obey but do you trust me? And I can’t violate that trust. I am honor-bound to
uphold it at any cost just as she is honor-bound to obey at any cost.
“Some call it TPE for total power exchange. There’s an element of mysticism to it
because she wants to be at one with her Master even as a mystic wants to be at one with the
universe. We do it by doing what’s called destroying her ego, her sense of self, even though
nothing is really being destroyed, just set aside so it doesn’t interfere.
“When you were talking about finding someone who wouldn’t interfere with your career,
a slave couldn’t make that condition. She would have to allow her Master to have total say. At
the same time, he couldn’t interfere because to do that would cause her not to bloom and it
would be like putting herbicide on the roses. A gardener could do that but no sane gardener
would.”
Just then the waitress came by to take their orders. Then Dave began the meeting and
asked everyone to introduce themselves. Bill didn’t pay too much attention. He thought Paige
seemed interested in what he was saying. At least she didn’t argue with him. He figured this
was probably something out of science fiction for her but she was here to explore and learn more
about the lifestyle. He wished he could just walk into the nearest Slave-R-Us and give them an
order. It would be so much easier. He found companions from time to time, even a few who
were submissive and would enjoy a little light B&D but slaves were few and far between. He
had asked them what it was that so appealed to them and always got the same answer. They told
him it was when they were enslaved that they felt the most free in their lives.
He looked over the people who had come, hoping that perhaps there would be someone
there who might be interested.
As he spoke about the woman who died, Paige laid her hand on his and gave it a gentle
squeeze. She’d never lost a lover, but she knew loss and could see there was still grief there,
even if he had moved on. She didn’t ask him anything else about her, judging it was far too
personal a topic, especially in an atmosphere like this, and that wasn’t even taking in to account
the fact that they barely knew each other. Passing acquaintances is all they really were and yet
here they were sharing some of the most intimate details of their lives with one another, because
they happened to show up at the same function.
When she squeezed his hand he was startled. It was so totally gentle and sympathetic
without being showy that he was really touched. He didn’t let on how much he was affected
because he was still a man and men didn’t do that, especially in public. He was also surprised
that she continued to be interested and attentive to what he was telling her. She clearly wasn’t a
know it all who wasn’t there to learn.
It wasn’t only what he was telling her that had her interest; it was the way in which he
told it. He wasn’t coming off as arrogant or better than those who chose a different path, it was
just a simple statement of what he wanted. It amused her slightly that he was so concise because
at work, she’d often thought him a little all over the place.
“I can honestly say I’ve never trusted anyone quite that much, but then I’ve never met
anyone who made me feel safe enough to trust them that much,” Paige told him.
“I think you misunderstood one thing I said, though. I didn’t say that I was looking for
someone who wouldn’t interfere with my career. I said I wanted someone who wouldn’t be
intimidated by it because someone who only wants the best for me would want me to succeed.”
The meeting started then and she felt a little ridiculous introducing herself to a group of
strangers, but she’d done enough public speaking that she managed to get through it without
tripping over her own words. A few people spoke while the orders were being taken but for the
most part she was finding that this monthly dinner was really little more than a social
engagement.
Once people went back to talking amongst themselves, a couple of people came up and
introduced themselves, welcoming her to the group and saying hello to Bill who they knew from
prior meetings.
He chatted with some of the others briefly but he felt drawn back to her. He kept
reminding himself that she was a coworker and he had to be careful. If she wasn’t, he would
have been angling to spend the night with her just because she was so gorgeous. Maybe one of
the other guys would be lucky tonight.
“I have to say,” she told him, “I’m extremely interested in hearing more about this, but I
feel like I’m monopolizing your time here tonight too, so please don’t feel you need to keep me
company.”
He had to look at her because he couldn’t have heard that right. “What did you say?”
She repeated it and yes, that’s what she had said. He felt a lump in his throat that he
hadn’t experienced since junior high school. Was it possible that she was genuinely drawn to
this? He silently wondered if Slaves-R-Us had gotten his order after all.
“Paige, you wouldn’t be monopolizing my attention. I would be happy to tell you
anything I can about this but could you just tell me one thing? I don’t mean to pry but is it
possible that you are drawn to being a slave yourself or at least want to know more about it not
just out of curiosity but to see if you are?” He tried not to hold his breath as he waited for her
answer.
That was the question, wasn’t it? she thought. She wasn’t entirely certain she had the
answer to it though. For the first time that night she wished she’d ordered something a little
stronger than iced tea with her dinner, though she picked up the glass and toyed with the straw
and the ice while she tried to choose her words carefully.
It was almost amusing to her to find that she was at a loss for them, when usually she
could speak about anything and everything at length whether she knew what she was talking
about or not. But this was different; this was something beyond polite dinner conversation or
one of her accounts at work. This went right to the very core of who she was and what she
wanted, what she needed.
“All I can say is that the way you described that life, that level of trust and intimacy, it
spoke to me. That may sound silly, but it’s true. When you asked me earlier what it is I’m
looking for, I didn’t have the words, but yours went straight through me”
Putting the glass down on the table, she turned in her seat so she could face him better,
look in his eyes while they spoke.
“I suppose that answers your question though, doesn’t it? I’m drawn to that. I don’t
know why. I don’t know if I ever would have even considered it had I not heard it described the
way you did.”
“I am deeply flattered,” he said in response. “If I was running the world, that’s the way it
would be for most women. It is funny but it takes a very secure, together woman to seek that
sort of relationship. It is a relationship. It can’t work in isolation. I see myself as a Master but I
can’t be a Master without a slave to own.”
He looked around. “Look, the meeting is wrapping up. I would really like to talk to you
more. Would you like to go somewhere more private and talk about this some more?” He didn’t
hesitate before adding, “I am not making a pass at you. I meant that. Just to talk about it. I am
quite fascinated by it since it is such an important part of my life and would love to know why it
draws you in.”
It would be nice if this could lead to something, he thought, although he didn’t want to
put any hope into it. It was too early and he meant what he said. He had no intention of going
any further than talk tonight. “You know,” he said thoughtfully, almost without realizing he was
thinking out loud, “for me, the greatest pleasure I can have is hurting and humiliating a beautiful
woman, who I care about, to her limits and see her responding to that with total ecstasy yet I like
and respect women. It is such a contrast.”
Coming back to his senses, he realized what he was saying and was embarrassed.
“Excuse me, I am rambling again. Please forget about that. But it would be nice to just talk to
you and learn more about how you see things.”
Little comments like that here or there only went to reinforce the fact that, at heart, Bill
was a chauvinist. It should have annoyed her more than it did, but the fact was, she was finding
him to be an interesting and somewhat charming dinner companion. She couldn’t deny either
that now having taken a much closer look at him than she had before, he was quite attractive as
well. A little older than her perhaps, but then she’d always been attracted to that type.
She glanced around the restaurant as she noticed people moving about, saying their
goodbyes and leaving. Had that much time really gone by so quickly? She’d been so wrapped
up in the conversation that she had no idea how much time had flown by.
Doing as he’d asked, she let the comments about respecting women and yet wanting to
hurt and humiliate one go by. She thought she understood what he was talking about but it was
one of those things she would need to learn more about before she could fully understand it. But
she knew she’d like to see the evening continue on.
“If I’d just met you tonight,” she said, “I would suggest a lovely little coffee place that I
know near the office, but since I didn’t, would you like to come by my place? We can have
coffee there and talk in private”
Paige was fairly certain that it was really just to be for coffee and conversation, but she
was still surprised that she’d made the invitation. Mentally she tried to remember that morning
and the state of her apartment, praying that she’d not left any messes around that she would be
embarrassed by.
Two
Bill was surprised that she would invite him back to her apartment. He didn’t take it as a
pass any more than he had intended his own invitation to be seen that way. It didn’t matter; he
had no intention of going beyond talking tonight anyway.
“I would enjoy going back home with you for an hour or two. Thank you for asking. Do
you want to tell me where you live and then I can get my car? I don’t want to put you out and it
doesn’t make any sense for one of us to drive the other since we would have to come back here.”
She gave him her address and he wrote it down. “I will meet you there as soon as I can
get there. You know the way so it will not take you as long as it will take me unless I follow
you. Actually, come to think of it, that would make more sense. Do you mind?”
They both headed to their cars and met in front of the restaurant. She moved out and he
followed. Luckily they didn’t hit too much traffic heading back towards her apartment and since
she’d given him the address, he seemed to keep up with her fairly well. He wondered if, in the
future, this could become a familiar drive. He knew he focused a lot on her appearance but what
the hell? He was a man. Far more important was that she had a deep craving to be submissive
but he did want a good looking woman too.
It did occur to him, after they both met in the parking lot of her building, that she might
want a few minutes to get the place ready. He wasn’t much of a housekeeper, himself, and he
wouldn’t want to bring a guest into his home without at least straightening up a little. He asked
her about it and she smiled and said she would so he let her go on ahead while he waited. He
didn’t have anything to do so he just thought about her. While he still didn’t have any real hope
of anything coming from the relationship other than perhaps a very casual friendship, that didn’t
stop him from indulging himself in a fantasy about her.
She was grateful that he’d brought up waiting outside for her while she checked the state
of her apartment before she did that and even more relieved when she got upstairs and saw that
aside from one or two things that were hastily thrown in to the closet, everything was clean.
Her apartment was little more than a studio with an actual bedroom, it was too small to
really call it a one bedroom, though. Her student loans ate up most of her salary, though with her
promotion she was finally starting to save a little and hoped to be out of here by the end of the
year. It wasn’t without its charm though; it had hard wood floors throughout the apartment
except for the bedroom, and a small balcony, overlooking a man-made lake, that was just big
enough for a small table and two chairs. Often, Saturday mornings would find her out on the
balcony with a cup of coffee and a book for a few hours.
She wasn’t very long and then she came back and invited him to come in.
When she had him come in, she had him sit in the small living room area. It had a glass
top table that sat on an area rug. Everything was decorated in fall colors of green and orange that
were warm and inviting. She brewed a pot of coffee and brought it out on a small tray with two
mugs and a variety of sugar and sweeteners, milk and cream and a small plate of cookies that she
kept specifically for company as they were more decorative than tasty.
“I didn’t know how you took your coffee so I brought out a little of everything,” she said.
“Thank you very much,” he replied as he helped himself. And in his mind he added a
silent, You will learn how to serve me. Of course that was his fantasy life talking. He might or
might not see her again although he really did hope to at least become friends with her.
“Paige, I must say it is nice to talk to you here in private. I am really curious. I would
really like to know what kind of man you are looking for. I did share with you what I am
seeking. I want a slave. And although I know it isn’t politically correct, appearance is very
important to me. If I could, I would like someone as beautiful as you are. But that’s not the only
thing. For me, strange as it may sound, even more important is her mind. I want an intelligent
woman. There is a quote that I particularly like.
“John Norman wrote something like, One of the most pleasant things about owning a
slave is the opportunity to converse with her, to listen to her, to hear her express herself, her
feelings and ideas. One can learn much from a slave. Many slaves are highly intelligent. They
can express themselves articulately, clearly, trenchantly and lyrically. It is a great pleasure to
talk with them. Then, when one wishes, one puts them again on their knees.”
He laughed. I have heard from other Masters who agree about the joys of owning an
intelligent woman. I’m not looking for a house slave to do the dishes. That’s what I have a
dishwasher for. I am looking for an intelligent, articulate woman who, when I want, will be on
her knees, ready to do as I wish.
“Actually, when I think about it, you might say I’m looking for a dustbuster.”
When she looked blank, he added, “You know, take her out, use her, then put her away
again and have her wait there, fully charged, until I am ready to use her again.”
He grinned at her expression. “I am teasing you again. Slaves require a lot of care. It is
a heavy responsibility to take on total responsibility for another person’s life and there are few
men who want to do that. Actually, now that I think about it, it’s much like becoming a mother.
I guess many more women are ready to do that than men.
“So here I am ruining off at the mouth again. What are you looking for?”
Sipping at her coffee, Paige made a mental note to Google John Norman and, even
though a lot of the jokes he made were a little off color, she couldn’t help but laugh all the same.
Something told her that he wasn’t nearly as brash as he’d like people to believe and wondered
what he would be like if you peeled back the layers.
“I think I want so many things that I doubt they exist in just one man. But I’m not quite
jaded enough yet to really accept that”
She added a little more sugar to her coffee for the kick and also to stall a moment while
she thought about how to answer the question. It was rare for one person to keep asking her
things that required thought before she spoke, though she was finding it a pleasant surprise.
“I want a friend, someone I can sit and talk with for hours on end about anything or
nothing at all. Maybe it makes me a snob, but I want a man who is educated, refined, has a good
career and ambition.”
It occurred to her that what she was starting to describe was her ideal match, but then,
why should she have to settle for less than that? Bill had been open and honest about what he
wanted right down to a woman who was attractive, why shouldn’t she be just as honest? She
was at the very least, enjoying the company, so when her cell phone went off, she merely
reached over for it and silenced it before putting it back down.
“More than that, though, I want someone who truly gets me. As much as I might be
setting back feminism here, I want a man who has some old fashioned charm, pulls out chairs or
open doors, someone who isn’t afraid to take charge because it’s what we both want and need.”
So much of what he’d said spoke to her. The idea was that someone else could know her
so well that they knew what the best choices were. She thought she understood where the
comments about freedom came in. She could see the appeal there.
“I never really thought of it in terms of labels. Submissive, slave, master, whatever labels
you want to put on it, in essence, I want someone who will be the best they could be, because
they have me, and who will make me the best I could possibly be.”
Bill sat back in his chair when she made the completely innocuous comment about a man
who would pull out her chair or hold a door for her. He didn’t know why that spoke to him in
the way it did. Perhaps it was because he was so accustomed to thinking of his ideal partner as a
slave that the thought of her as a lady, too, was something he hadn’t considered. Yet it was
something that he very much insisted on.
He was very much a take-charge sort of man. In real life, he wouldn’t force it on a
woman but it was what he was used to and wanted. And then she ended by saying she would
make him the best he could be just because he had her. That shook him to his core.
He sat there dumbfounded, just looking at her. For once he didn’t know what to say.
“Paige, what you have said is giving me the creeps because as ludicrous as it sounds, you
have just described me. I don’t know how refined I am but I do have a good education and I am
ambitious at work but even more so, I am ambitious in terms of the kind of woman I want in my
life. I want someone who will listen to me and be interested in me as a man. I want a woman
who will consider herself a friend but who will also serve me totally when that’s what I want.
“And what’s weirder is that I think I understand you as well. What you said about
wanting a gentleman spoke to me. You are a 50’s woman who wants a man who wears the pants
in the family. I suspect you want to come home from work at the end of the day and relax into
being a woman, not a pretend man. That’s fine when you are working but it isn’t what is at your
core. You want to reveal that core and have it prized and appreciated and, more than that, loved.
“I would love to stay and hear more but there is something in you that calls to me and I
just have no idea if I am just imagining it or if it is real. I am a gentleman and so I will leave you
with your virtue intact and I will call you tomorrow after we have both had a chance to think
about this and see where we want to go with it. Regardless of what else, I would like to be
friends. If you decide you are up for something more, that would be wonderful but I don’t want
to rush it or push you. So I just offer you my hand in friendship and will say very honestly, I
would really like to get to know you more. You are quite a woman Paige Ryan.”
And with that, he stood up, ready to leave.
* * * * * *
Was it even remotely possible, she thought, that somehow they had each stumbled upon
someone who was the counterpart for what they wanted? It seemed almost too easy. Of course,
if you put in the fact that they worked together, that put a huge dent in the easy portion, she
mused.
She may have freaked him out by the things she’d shared with him, but somehow, in the
middle of all that, he’d expressed an interest in getting to know her better. Expressed an interest
without actually asking her out, she noticed, but didn’t say anything along those lines when he
got up to leave.
“Bill...”
Paige walked over towards the door and stopped him from just leaving. It seemed too
bland a note for them to end this night on. After all, they had just shared something with each
other which had been an extraordinary eye opener for her. She felt as if there had to be more
said than that.
“If I can be completely honest, from work I didn’t really think much of you. But I can
see that my opinion was based on a lot of assumptions and I’m really glad that I got to know you
a little better tonight.”
She opened up one of the drawers on the little table at the entryway and wrote down her
cell phone number for him before handing him the paper.
“If you’re going to call me tomorrow, you should have the number.”
Bill glanced at it and said, “Paige, let me be equally honest with you. I’m feeling a little
like asking someone if they got the license number on the truck that just ran me over. I need to
get a grip on what’s going on inside. I would really, really like to know more about you to see if
we are actually having a meeting of our minds and souls. Frankly, I’m a little afraid of it.”
He took a deep breath. “You seem too good to be true. I’m afraid to ask you what I
really want to know because I have a memory here that I want to carry with me unblemished.
You are very, very special and an extraordinary woman. I look forward to working with you
even if we are no more than casual friends.”
He took the paper she held out. “Thank you for the phone number. But it’s silly for me
to leave and then call you later. I will deal with my feelings.” He fell silent as he thought for a
moment. He wanted to take her somewhere where they could just talk.
“Perhaps we could go to Avalon Park together.” He grinned. “Pretend we are a couple
of teenagers. How would Saturday be for you? We could have lunch or dinner there.”
She was far from too good to be true, she thought. Paige was well aware of her many
faults. The fact was, she didn’t believe that anyone was perfect, but that certain people were
perfect for certain people. No one was too good to be true. More than anything, she hoped that
working together wouldn’t be awkward now though she doubted it would be. They, if nothing
else, seemed to have a mutually high opinion of one another on a personal level.
As she was reaching for the front door to let him out, he asked her about Saturday and the
park. Smiling, she turned back towards him. It was almost as if he’d read her mind again. It
was a casual afternoon or evening in the park, but he’d still asked her out.
Saturday was the day after tomorrow and she realized that they were still going to have a
day at work together as well although the only time she ever saw him there was during
department head meetings or, once or twice, when she’d run in to him in the break room by the
coffee machine. Somehow, though, unless one of them was unusually busy, she had a pretty
good feeling they would run into each other at some point during the day.
“Well, Saturday is usually a good day for the park. I’d love to. As it happens, I’m rather
free Saturday, so the afternoon or evening works for me.”
“That sounds wonderful,” he replied. “Then let’s make it afternoon and then, if you
want, we can have dinner.” He said goodbye and headed back to his car.
* * * * * *
She was amazing, he thought. He knew she probably had faults just like everyone else
but he was very prone to overlook them if things worked out. Unfortunately, he didn’t really
expect they would. That would be too much to hope for. There was one thing that wasn’t
negotiable as far as he was concerned. He was a passionate spankophile and spanking for him
was a major part of sex. Most girls, even those who were slightly masochistic, would, if they
tolerated it at all, not really enjoy it. But as far as he was concerned, sex without spanking was
like romance without kissing. It just didn’t make it.
He wondered how her desire for respect, holding a door for her, pulling her chair out,
would fit with her being a slave. What was interesting was that some of the girls he had known
found that in itself to be rather submissive. They had to wait while he did that for them and he
insisted that they do. A major part of submission was humiliation play but it was play and it
actually had the opposite effect. Instead of running them down, it served to build them up, to
strengthen their egos. They reasoned, correctly, that he would not play with them that way
unless he was confident that what he was saying wasn’t really true. He would never dream of
telling a girl struggling with her weight that she was a fatso but a girl with the kind of stunning
figure Paige had, he might. Not until he was sure she wouldn’t take it seriously, of course.
She certainly was beautiful. But it was more than her spectacular figure and face. She
had a beauty of her soul that he could sense and liked very much. He wondered if her desire to
have a man in charge, have one who would take care of her, would extend to one who would also
discipline her physically. He couldn’t bring himself to ask because when she said, “no,” it would
shatter his dreams. Better if he lived with the fantasy a little longer before moving on.
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