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Chapter V-Conclusion, The Commuter Train
"Dear Darling Deni, my sweet little girl:
"I decided to leave early this morning and to let you sleep. You looked so beautiful and peaceful in your sleep, I just didn't have the courage to awaken you. Deni honey, you have filled a very special place in my heart that will never again be filled by anyone. It is yours, now and forever. My deepest wish is that this is not 'goodbye' but rather 'hello.' But I also realize that you and you alone have to make that decision.
"Honey, I left my personal credit card on the table that has a $20,000 charge limit. Buy anything you want ... I can well afford it. I have also left the keys to the car. Use it as you wish. The person taking my place in the corporation I work for will not be here for another month. You may, if you wish, also stay in the condo until then. At the end of a month, just leave the keys to the car and the condo on the kitchen table for the new person who will be living there and using the corporate car.
"Darling, you have my address and phone number. The rest is up to you!
"With my deepest love, your Miss Dottie."
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I had been in California for over a month now. For the first few weeks I had a very hard time concentrating on my new position. I spent countless hours at home waiting ... waiting for the telephone to ring, waiting to hear her voice. But it never came. After a week I received a letter in the mail from Deni. It read:
"Thank you for your very generous offer of the use of your car, condo, and credit card. I am returning your credit card to you ... unused. I also left the car keys and the condo keys on the kitchen table ... both unused. Deni."
It was now Friday night. Almost six weeks has passed and after receiving the letter from Deni I had heard nothing else. She is still on my mind ... daily. I had not gotten Deni's address, nor her phone number. Yes, I could have used my 'resources' to find her, but after that letter I had sadly tried to face reality. It was just not to be and yet ... she was still constantly on my mind and in my dreams! I cried many times as I clearly saw her beautiful face, her curly hair and even heard her voice in my dreams. There were even times when another woman would pass me and I could smell her perfume that I recognized as a scent similar to Deni's and my head would snap around quickly to see if it was Deni.
It was almost eight o'clock on this Friday night when I heard the telephone ring.
"Hello," I answered the phone.
"Hello," came the response.
"May I help you," I replied.
"Miss Dottie?" the person on the phone inquired.
"Miss Dottie????" ... it that what I heard??? ... Could it be ...???" my mind was going in circles.
"Deni ... Deni, is this really you?" I almost shouted in the phone.
"Yes, Miss Dottie," the now familiar voice answered.
"Oh my God Deni ... oh God, I never thought I would hear your voice again," I said.
"Please Miss Dottie, please let me explain," Deni said. "I returned your credit card and keys because I didn't want you to ever think I was with you for anything else but what I felt in my heart. Miss Dottie, I cry for you every night. Miss Dottie, please, I need you!"
"Deni, damn it, where the hell are you?" I asked in response.
"Miss Dottie, I'm at the local airport here near you," Deni answered.
"What? Are you really? Are you visiting?" I replied the questions swirling at a rapid pace in my mind.
"No, no ... Miss Dottie, I have all my things with me. I left Jefferson Memorial. I quit my job ... I ..."
"What?" I cut Deni's voice off. "Deni honey, what is it you want?" I knew at this point I had to regain my composure. I knew if this was what I was thinking, if this was what I wanted so bad, I had to be strong. I had to 'make' Deni acknowledge in her own words what she really wanted.
"Miss Dottie ... ah ... Miss Dottie ... ah, I want ..." Deni continued, her voice breaking up with it apparent innocence.
"Deni sweetheart ... listen to me. Tell Miss Dottie what you want, what you want more than anything else in the world," I said in as soft yet as firm a voice as I could trying to keep my emotions in control and having very little success at it.
"Miss Dottie ... Miss Dottie, I want to ... I want to be your 'little girl' ... I ... I want to belong to you?" Deni answered in little spurts between her heavy breathing.
"Deni my little girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my darling ... don't you move an inch. Your Miss Dottie is coming to get you baby. Welcome home honey! Deni honey, your Miss Dottie loves you, loves you, loves you!!!
Oh God, Miss Dottie, I love you too!!!
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